The McGregor Journey

New Digs

2012-01-30T15:00:00.000-05:00

Just a quick reminder that we've settled in to our new digs over here and would love to have you stop by!

Cheers

2011-03-01T22:13:00.000-05:00

It's time to move on. Our time here has been absolutely priceless, and thank you for being a part of our journey. I hope you'll join us for the continuation of the journey over HERE.

Much love and hopes for great adventures,
The McGregors

Not Hard

2011-02-22T21:25:00.008-05:00

I scheduled some time with Ashton's teachers to discuss our upcoming (booked, confirmed, happening) trip to Ethiopia so that we could chat about ways that Ash's school-day-life could support what he's about to experience. A wonderful friend sent me this link which contains some great talking points and just generally helpful resources for talking to children about adoption so I felt like I at least had something going in to the conversation. I'll admit that other than the handy dandy printable/linkable resources I felt just a bit more than slightly unprepared. I felt like I should have a list of ideas, activities, be ready to volunteer to come in and read adoption related story books to the kids, something. But on the flip side, turns out that what I had was all that was needed. Turns out that the conversation just needed to be started and his unbelievably freaking awesome teachers would just support us from there. Turns out the feeling of being overwhelmed with preparations can actually be a feeling of overwhelming excitement instead. This is going to be challenging, but it's not going to be hard.

No doubt our lifestyle is a natural supporter in the prep process. We just returned from a long weekend in London where both kids, the 8 month old and the nearly 4 year old , were absolute rock stars. They were hardly fazed by the time zone change and skipped happily to school the morning after returning home at 10PM from a full-day transatlantic flight. And when I say Rock Stars I mean Mick Jagger style, or whatever the farthest cry from Justin Bieber style might be. Bottom line, they travel well.

And all this to say that I feel like I can do this, and I feel like I can do it well, and when I screw up certain moments I feel like I'll be prepared to soak in the humility and truck on from there. Of course tomorrow morning may bring on entirely new feelings of anxiety and Leni may decide that the 14+ hour flight from JFK to Dubai will be the perfect hours in which to finally sprout some teeth (current count = 0) and no doubt I'm going to be a somewhat controlled pile of mush for the first few days in Addis (at best). But, we're going. It's booked. We're prepping what we have the ability to prep and letting everything else just settle in to place when it feels like settling. Because one thing we've found in all of our travels is that pushing something to settle quicker than it wants to just lands you in a giant pile of knotted up stomachs and the urge to eat pasta. Lots and lots of cheesy pasta.

So instead we're just enjoying this. There's still pasta, but of the more flavorful and light basil-laced variety. Ash's teachers are psyched to incorporate "adoption speak" into his classroom environment. We read "E is for Ethiopia" with Ash a few times a week. And we're avidly searching for hotels to stay in while in Addis, Gondar, Lalibela, Bahar Dar, and a lodge to spend our last few nights somewhere in the South.

This is going to be challenging, but it's not going to be hard. Hard is for Advanced Calculus and mastering Chinese as a second language. Revisiting my son's birth country and meeting with his birth mother and exploring the land, the culture, the history of the area that created my son isn't hard. A whole lot of wonderful with a bit of challenge on the side maybe, but not hard.

Psyched. Not completely ready yet, but getting there.

The Modern Telegram

2011-02-14T18:42:00.003-05:00

Shrimp and broccoli curry with coconut & ginger rice at home instead of battling the V-Day restaurant reservation game, heart shaped balloons and special pink and red heart plates and napkins instead of zillion dollar roses and china, musical valentines, and maybe just a splash of champagne (root beer for the tot). Kids make this holiday awesome.

Love, Us

2011-02-14T03:00:00.000-05:00

TFA In DC

2011-02-11T20:45:00.002-05:00

It's Teach for America's 20th anniversary (I'm 2001 corps) so the Alumni Summit this year is a bit bigger deal than usual. I was at their 15th anniversary summit 5 years ago held at one of the DC hotels with convention capabilities, but it was nothing like this. This year we've packed out the entire DC convention center and the entire city seems to have been taken over by the "One Day" spirit. I'm aching for some inspiration. This should do it.

And of course, when in DC one must dine at one of the 25+ Ethiopian restaurants (DC is home to the largest population of Ethiopians living outside of Ethiopia) and we managed to pick a gem. Ethiopic was delicious, highly recommend, may even go again if we wind up with a layover in DC on our upcoming trip to Ethiopia. The one where we will meet with his birth mother again. Because the director of the orphanage emailed me directly to let me know she'd spoken with her and she wants to see us when we're there in April. I'm emailing with a real life human being who is talking to Ash's birth mom mere moments before responding to my emails. It's amazing. It's overwhelming. It's exactly what we wanted. And we're nervous as hell. I'm going to do it "right" this time. Because she's there, waiting for us to come, she knows we're coming and has informed us that she'll be there, waiting for us. And the only thing that has managed to calm me has been this...

Movement

2011-02-09T20:14:00.003-05:00

My children are moving. Ash is skiing and Helena is crawling and the universe is spinning. Yikes. PS, Helena is rockin' commando style due to a pesky rash on her tush that even Butt Paste doesn't seem to be curing. Suggestions welcome.

Snow Can Be Good

2011-02-05T20:38:00.003-05:00

At least that's the mantra we recited on our way to the mountain this morning. A trip planned rather spontaneously in an effort to remind us all that snow is not inherently evil, that it may well have a positive purpose in life. And no, I haven't forgotten that we're both graduates of Montana State University, Bozeman where there was an actual written rule that new snow meant classes were canceled (and that both of us held seasons passes to the hill/mountain from the ages of 13 to 21...), so yes I feel ridiculous even posting this out of sheer embarrassment to the true spirit of winter. But we're not in college in anymore. And we don't live in Bozeman anymore. So post I shall because dear sweet mother of all things true...this winter has sucked.

Ash dug the chairlift. Maybe because of the scenery, maybe because of the thrill of going to the top of the mountain, but most likely because daddy had stocked pockets. And by that I mean stocked with starbursts. Nothing like a little sugar to psych you up for getting to the top.

Our room has it's own "hot pool" which basically means Ash has decided he'll live here forever. And Leni has decided that she no longer sees any reason to go to bed before Ash. So, we hot pooled, we watched whatever was on Cartoon Network with some popcorn in mommy and daddy's bed, and soaked up a whole lot of just-the-4-of-us.

And then we kicked them out. To their own beds on the other side of the wall. And lest you think we did this in an effort to be all romantic and such, I'll just remind you that I'm currently blogging and daddy's currently scouring Craigslist for a new minivan.

Sexy.

Hats

2011-02-04T20:36:00.001-05:00

Drop-Offs

2011-02-03T10:16:00.003-05:00

It was a rough morning drop-off for Ash. One of those mornings where he draws out every possible activity from brushing his teeth to putting on his shoes as long as possible in an effort to put off the inevitable. And when asked why he doesn't want to go to school he replies, "because I really love you mommy". Oh man. He usually loves school, but with all of the snow closures/delays/early dismissals this month his routine has been turned upside down thus causing some out-of-the-norm clingyness. I stopped counting once we hit 10 (yes, 10) but imagine we're somewhere in the boat of 12 full day closures plus 2 two-hour delays plus 1 early dismissal. All in the month of January where there were only 20 possible school days to begin with. No wonder the kid's a bit off.

And to top it all off Helena has finally reached the stage where she appears to actually care when she's being dropped off. Not that she didn't notice before, but there's only so much caring that a 0-6 month old exhibits. Apparently 6 months is the cut-off though as the day she turned 7 months she started giving me the look when I'd drop her off. She totally realizes that mommy's leaving and now seems to really care about it. Her eyes burn a hole smack dab through the center of my heart as they stare me down while I make my exit. It sucks.

I love my children. I love sitting on the floor watching Ash hand toy after toy to his baby sister then break out in gut-bursting laughter as she happily takes each toy only to toss it over her head almost immediately. And should the toy happen to land on one of the cats watch out, he may never regain control of himself and may wind up laughing himself to sleep. I love that my children are comfortable pretty much anywhere, that they'll go to sleep at night wherever we put them, be it at the brown house or the Brooklyn house or a hotel or at Grandma & Papas. I love that we now eat at restaurants as a family of 4 as smoothly as we did when we were a family of 3. Well, almost as smoothly. That last one can still be tricky every now and then, but Leni seems to be catching on pretty quickly. I love that there's a mini ski vaca and a weekend in DC for TFA's 20th anniversary alumni summit and a long weekend in London all in our near future and Ash is looking forward to all of it and Leni probably is, she just doesn't know it yet. Because they both seem to love spending time with us just as much as we love spending time with them. And I love that.

Which is why I absolutely loathe Ash's clingy drop-offs and Leni's laser-beam vision when I leave them at school/daycare. It guts me. I know they're fine 30 seconds after I'm gone. I know they're smiling and happily playing with their wonderful teachers surrounded by all of their friends mere moments after my exit. I know they'll be reluctant to leave when I arrive to pick them up because they're having so much fun, but after a second or two of contemplating this they'll shoot me the worlds biggest smiles and run (or be handed over in Leni's case) to my arms for the worlds biggest hugs.

But that doesn't make the drop-offs any easier.

And don't get me wrong, I do enjoy running for a quick cup of coffee (because "quick" is possible w/o children in tow) and dedicating my attention to the adult world during the work day. My preference is to continue working outside of the home full time while I essentially outsource my job as a parent to my children's teachers. I chose this.

But that doesn't make the drop-offs any easier.

But want to know what it does make even better?

The nighttime giggle fests. The long weekends getting away together. The evenings spent lingering in restaurants enjoying food from every possible ethnicity. The extended trips spent exploring the world together. The Saturday mornings when both kids are brought into bed with us and it's just the 4 of us for a few hours making forts out of the sheets watching the occasional cartoon and reading stories.

I suppose those things make the drop-offs a little easier.

Wait.

A lot easier.

But I'm still entitled to pout for a little while each morning after the drop-offs, but just for a few minutes. Promise.

Waiting

2011-02-02T21:25:00.003-05:00

A word not to be taken lightly within the adoption community. Sure, there's waiting involved in biological births to families but they're in a relatively greater amount of control over what happens during that waiting. There's much less unknown, and a whole lot less "what's my baby doing now and how is he/she interacting with her family" going on. And there's a complete nonexistence of waiting children. Waiting children. And by this I don't mean all children having been relinquished for adoption, rather I'm referring to children who have passed some sort of marker - a dreadful milestone of sorts - that places them in to the category of "waiting child" which basically puts their chances of being adopted at zippy to nil. Children who have essentially lost all rights to to childhood and the ability to develop in to who they could be one day. Waiting children.

Children like this.

And all of a sudden the word "waiting" takes on an entirely new form, an imperceptible being. She's 4 years old and about to be completely screwed. And is just one of many in this position.

Next time you witness someone waiting impatiently in line for their double-tall-nonfat-sugarfree-latte (um, me) just do me a favor and slap me upside my not-waiting face. It needs it.

I Won't Be The Deer

2011-01-27T21:55:00.010-05:00

I want this to work so badly that I've told myself there's no way it won't. Which is dangerous. Because the reality of the situation is that we may not be able to find her. And if we find her she may not agree to meet with us. And even if we find her and she agrees to meet with us she may not be able to physically get to a meeting. And if we do find a way to all be together in the same place at the same time, how will I keep my head/mind/soul/entire being from just collapsing and looking on silently in awe of the woman who made us a family. Just like the last time. I don't want it to be like the last time. This time I want to ask the questions I intend to ask rather than letting my heart crumble and deteriorate into a replica of a deer in headlights. Though there's no way to to prevent heart crumbling in these sorts of matters, so maybe I could just shoot for not being the deer. Oh if only, if only we could get to that point where I'd have to put forth the effort to not be the deer. If only there would be a "this time".

"This time" actually stands a chance of happening. We've reached out to multiple contacts and people seem to be willing to help. And even if "this time" doesn't happen, at least we'll have the experience of enjoying Ethiopia. But I really want "this time" to happen. Really really really. And when it does, I promise not to be the deer.

Phew? Um, No.

2011-01-23T21:20:00.003-05:00

A recent encounter with some seemingly naive ~~ignorant ass-wipes~~ women gave me the unfortunate opportunity to set aside one additional little bit that I didn't share in my last post.

"You know, he's really not that dark. No really, he's really light skinned. Phew."

Phew? PHEW? Let's just say I'm very disappointed in myself for not reaching across the table and launching myself into lifetime solitary confinement. Because the boy upstairs is not a "phew", he's by no means "light", and DEAR LORD please grant me sufficient Karma to maintain perspective.

I continue to seek perspective when responding to the daily (yes, daily) encounters that directly impact my family regarding race. It may seem unreal to some that race still plays such a role but it is ridiculously real to us. Ridiculously.

Why should light skinned = phew?

So not OK.

How Sick Was He?

2011-01-18T21:03:00.006-05:00

As I sat down with a pair of women who I truly believe have the most loving intentions, I knew I was in for it. Name your adoption cliche and they've undoubtedly shouted it from the highest rooftop.

"Oh look at your gorgeous daughter! You know it always happens that way, you adopt and then BAM you're pregnant!"

"You really are a saint. To think how you saved that boy and now you have a real child. What a blessing."

"She is so gorgeous. It reminds me of how sick your boy was in the beginning. How sick was he again?"

In true Ned Flanders form, OH DIDDLY IGGLY FREAKING YIDDLY!!!!

But really, conversations like this tend to provide that occasional kick in the arse that I need to keep real. Annoying? Yes. Ignorant? Most absolutely. Just one more reason to travel the hell out of our kids so that they NEVER behave that way? YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR.

This Time It's Just Us

2011-01-15T20:44:00.009-05:00

Grandma flew out to watch the kids for the weekend (as in 2, two, TWO nights away together...) and we drove north. So far we've been in Lake Placid solo for a grand total of 8 hours and have managed to eat somewhere in the ballpark of 6 meals. I lost track after the Napa Cab that's still causing me to lick my lips like a cat on peanut butter. There are spas and hot tubs and fireside martinis in our future. Our children are as happy and loved as they could possibly be with grandma in charge of their weekend sleepover fiesta. If you're looking for us we might just be too far over the rainbow to find for the next 48 hours. Leave a message. Beep.

When We Go See My Ethiopia Mommy...

2011-01-12T22:37:00.003-05:00

He gets it. He so very very gets it. Thumbs down to the folks out there who question the ability of a toddler to remember, really remember, their "things". My toddler remembers his things. He constantly brings up trips we took 2+ years ago (silent muh-huh to myself...) and associates things with places. So now that he's really starting to integrate the idea of having an Ethiopia mommy into his daily thought process he's also really starting to need something to attach that to. And what better than the original attachment, right? Right. So, we're planning a trip to Ethiopia. He needs to go. We need to go. It could be really really good.

Now, I'm not completely naive. I understand the logistics behind introducing my child to his Ethiopia Mommy and the potential for challenges. But that's why this is so important right now. He needs the response to those challenges. He's seen the world, he's been there, he's been told he came from someone else's belly, and he understandably wants to know where "that" looks like. And we're so excited to show him.

We're waiting on our agency for further options and possibilities, and you can bet your bottom dollar we'll take full advantage of everything made available. But the fact is there, it will be the 4 of us and Ethiopia this spring. This Spring.

This Spring.

Sunday Styles

2011-01-09T15:04:00.003-05:00

Priorities

2011-01-08T21:37:00.003-05:00

It's been tough going for this blog lately, life just seems to be constantly intervening in my plans to write more and more frequently. What once occupied a 3-4 paragraph blog post is now condensed to a 1-2 sentence Facebook status update. Not by choice. I'd still much rather be writing blog posts than opting for the much easier/quicker FB post. I just need to figure out a way to build it back into my list of things to prioritize.

Speaking of Priorities.

A rather common response to my FB posts while traveling is (or is similar to): "How do you manage to go on so many vacations?" Well, traveling has always been a priority for my husband and I, and we always planned to maintain it as a priority once we had children. We maximize every second of my vacation time from work so that we can go on as many trips as possible. I don't spend much $ on clothing, our home is decorated with artwork carefully accumulated through swaps with other artists, and we're big fans of IKEA. We'd rather work a 60 hour work week while simultaneously completing a major project on the house and just forgo sleep than use our vacation time to complete the project on the house when we could be traveling. Some would call this nuts, but there's little we look forward to more than traveling together. So, we cram as much in to our working weeks as possible and save as much of our income as possible so that we we can be on vacation traveling together as often as possible. It's our priority.

We spent Christmas in MN and New Years in Mexico. Despite not being able to fly home to NY in between these two trips due to the epic snow storm that closed all NY airports for what felt like YEARS we were able to make both trips, on time, and in very good spirits. We had to tack on a flight to Houston and spend the night at the hotel airport, but in all honesty all this did was make Ash really happy that he'd finally been to TX - a state Daddy's been traveling to for work pretty frequently lately. And ANYTHING Daddy related is about as cool as it gets for Ash, so the stopover in Houston was just icing for him. And his little sister Leni? Champion. At the ripe old age of 6 months she's already well seasoned in the art of falling asleep the minute the landing gear touches down at our destination.

Next month we're taking them to London for a long weekend, and plans are in the making for a trip back to Ethiopia in April. There's no doubt that this year's vacation time is going to be stretched as thinly as possible.

And we wouldn't want it any other way.

How else do you end up with a story of your 3 1/2 year old dropping his bright blue van matchbox car through the cracks of the ocean-side bar only to be seen looking on in horror (or fascination) at the scene of two giant crabs quickly snatching up the opportunity to play with something new? And then the follow up conversation where said 3 1/2 year old boy insists he needs to swim out to sea to scold the crabs who stole his van. Needless to say there are now two crabs in Mexico with a sparkly new blue van to play with cause there was no way in schizzle mommy was crawling under that deck to rescue the van knowing who were the other occupants under the deck.

Just sayin.

And don't get me wrong. All 4 of us LOVED sleeping in the comfort of our own beds once we returned to snowy plow-deprived NY. But I'll be honest with you, it only took about 12 hours before we were back on kayak.com searching for the next flight.

And A Happy New Year

2011-01-03T16:36:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T02:00:00.002-05:00

From the four of us to all of you. Love, The McGregors

Happy Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T11:31:00.000-05:00

Sunday Styles

2010-12-19T15:20:00.004-05:00

But Wait, Where Are The Children?

2010-12-18T22:01:00.005-05:00

With other absolutely 100% capable LIFE SAVERS, that's where. Well OK maybe there wasn't any actual life saving going on, but there was a fair amount of sanity saving and some seriously needed time away, together. We love our children, we really really do, but they make finding time to spend together as a couple a wee bit difficult. So when the opportunity arises we jump - high and fast. And it arose twice this week. TWICE. As in, if you see us walking down Broadway tomorrow we may not even be twitching. We might look... chill.

Opportunity #1 came about when we both decided to take a day off of work and hire a babysitter so that we could spend a random weekday playing hookie. We basically restaurant hopped all day, tossed in a visit to MoMA, and wrapped the evening at an art auction. Pristine. Opportunity #2 came in the form of our child-swapping weekends with friends who have 2 children the exact same age as ours. They take ours for a night then we take theirs for a night. Not just pristine, AWESOME. No, DOUBLE AWESOME. We spent our night away at a friends holiday party eating unbelievable BBQ and not having to worry about spilling red wine on a child. Then we spent our night with the four kids playing "where should we fly the magic rocket ship to next?" and listening to endless giggles from the bedroom where two of the world's most adorable 3 1/2 year olds told each other stores till nearly 11PM.

So if you were concerned about the children, don't be. They're fine. Wonderful even. And so are we.

Dressed For Snow In NY

2010-12-11T10:33:00.002-05:00

Dear Santa

2010-12-10T10:02:00.000-05:00

Best Big Brother Ever

2010-12-08T06:00:00.001-05:00

Taking After Daddy

2010-12-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

You'd Never Know One Has The Flu And The Other Is Teething

2010-12-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

She Speaks

2010-12-05T20:35:00.003-05:00

So I admit to sucking at this lately. If it makes any difference I have at least 2-3 blog posts daily run through my mind, word for word, that just never seem to make it to here. And they're good ones too! Brilliant even! Well, maybe not so much, and perhaps that's why I haven't taken the time to put them to writing. That said though, I'm not giving up. As infrequently as I post here it's still pretty much our only hope at having any sort of life book / baby book / family album for keepsake purposes since I also suck (even more) at doing any of those things in their non-computer form. So I forge on...

We switched Leni's formula to Earth's Best Organic Soy (we were on their dairy version) and her monumental puking after every feeding seems to have subsided. Hallelujah. We've also started feeding her apples, pears, carrots, and sweet potatoes - sometimes mixed with rice cereal, sometimes not. Ash still eats pretty much anything you put in front of him, or at least he'll try a bite or two before making the "this is the grossest thing on Earth WHY are you feeding this to me?" face. His latest favorite is the spicy cold noodle dish from one of our local Japanese joints, and not too far off in the running would be daddy's spicy chicken - the boy is kicking his taste for spice up a notch and this makes us all smile.

We're coming off a week of daddy being on a zillion airplanes and gamma coming to visit to make sure mommy's head doesn't pop off, and I'm happy to report it didn't. Thanks to gamma and the one flight of daddy's that actually landed on time - the important one, the one that landed him HOME. 3 work weeks left in 2010 then we get to spend Christmas in MN and New Years in Mexico. And then? Then we're going to be entering the year where our son turns 4 and our girl wraps her first year of life and holy hell SLOW IT DOWN. Well, slow it down AFTER we get to the Christmas in MN and New Years in Mexico part. But the next 3 weeks can fly by as fast as they very well please.

We.

2010-11-26T21:49:00.011-05:00

We train'd, we subway'd, we Brooklyn'd. We lunched. We Radio City'd. We Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon'd then we diced, chopped, and wrapped things in bacon then we cooked cooked cooked. And we ate ate ate. There was wine, there was bacon. There were people singing, playing, and dancing to We All Live In A Yellow Submarine - again and again and again. It was so very happy. Then we ate apple cake for breakfast, prepped a days worth of bacon snacks, and set off to cut down this year's Christmas tree. Twas truly a Thanksgiving to give thanks.

Just Another November Day In NY

2010-11-24T21:34:00.009-05:00

Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters

2010-11-23T03:00:00.000-05:00

My new favorite bedtime story. I ordered it from Amazon months ago before it was released so it was a complete surprise when it showed up at my doorstep last week. I love finding new favorite bedtime stories. I also love that Ash now insists on being a part of Leni's bedtime stories and even reads them to her himself sometimes. And then he sings songs to her (granted Twinkle Twinkle Little Star often becomes Twinkle Twinkle Little Baby Puke, but hey, he's 3 1/2). I love that when we Skyped with Daddy he asked which airport Daddy was in and when Daddy responded Texas he asked "but where in Texas?" And of course, when Daddy told him he was heading to CA his only interest was if he was going to see Lightning McQueen this time. And I love how excited he is to have a sleepover with his BFF on Thanksgiving, and how he remembers cutting down our Christmas tree the day after last year. But most of all I love it when he randomly looks at me and says, "Mommy! We're a family!"

In Their Own Language

2010-11-22T12:14:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-17T21:49:00.002-05:00

When I Was A Baby Did You Name Me Ashton?

2010-11-16T09:14:00.011-05:00

I'm not sure where/when he started wondering this, but it's been a fairly common question for the last week or so. He's been quite concerned about confirming that we did in deed name him Ashton when he was a baby and seems quite relieved when I answer him "yes". He knows that his Ethiopia mommy gave him the name Wondemu, and he loves saying his whole name really loud 10 times in a row...ashtonwondemumcgregorashtonwondemumcgregor.... but for the time being the fact that we gave him a name when he was a baby seems to be on his "things to make sure of" list.

Other things on that list recently...

We're staying at an African/safari themed hotel in Disney World and many of the staff members are from Africa. Ash has been hugely annoyed when he asks where they're from and all they say is "Africa". He quickly follows that up with "But WHERE in Africa?". They quickly get over their surprised reaction and go in to detail about which country, what it's like, etc etc once they realize we are actually interested. Sort of sad that this comes as a surprise to them, that tourists in this area would actually be interested in an answer beyond just Africa.

Another thing he's been keen on making sure of has been his swimming abilities, namely the ability to jump in to the water as far and fast as he can for the sole purpose of soaking mommy. And I'm sure there are quite a few other items I could add to this list but unfortunately our hotel does not have wifi. Yes, you read that right. No wifi. In Disney World. We have to plug in using a 2 foot cord that remands me to the far corner of the room when accessing all things Internet. As I type this I still find it hard to believe, I mean way back in 2003 when we rode camels into the Sahara while visiting Morocco and slept in small tents in the sand with nomads even they could tell us which sand dune to climb in order to get the best signal to check the scores on that day's futbol game. But no, Disney World 2010 and still no wifi.

The Giraffe Outside My Window

2010-11-12T22:58:00.010-05:00

Tonight we put the kids to bed, which was pretty simple seeing as they both just tipped over the moment we finally put them in their PJ's for the night, and then moved ourselves out on to the balcony. With a glass of wine, and 4 giraffes, and 3 zebras, and 2 of an animal yet to be identified. These were the same giraffes that just hours earlier caused Ash to (seriously) sprint into the glass sliding door with such excitement he hardly realized he had just slammed his entire body against the glass and then made for dang sure we knew there were giraffes outside his hotel room window. Then we scooped his slightly bedazzled self up and wrapped his sister in the 2 sizes too big diapers daddy packed and whisked them away to the Magic Kingdom's special evening event titled "A Very Merry Christmas Party" where we rode, we danced, we played, we sang, and then eventually, we tipped over. Which brings me right back to that stellar glass of wine on the balcony. And the giraffes and the zebra still outside. And the sleeping babes who promised me just prior to the aforementioned tipping over that they'd sleep soundly till at least 8AM tomorrow. Cheers to all of the above.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-10T10:02:00.001-05:00

Laundry

2010-11-09T20:59:00.002-05:00

Where does your laundry go after it's been laundered? Into a bin, up the stairs, folded in to piles and placed into dressers or on hangers in closets? I so wish that were the case for us. For us it's more like washer to dryer to bin to stairs to... being dumped on the guest bed in the guest bedroom where the clothing items stay until A) they're worn, or B) some sort of miracle happens and we actually make it around to folding them. Though option B never (really, never) happens more than a day before the next load of laundry makes it up the stairs. So really, we should just call our guest bed the laundry bed and the guest bedroom the where-laundry-goes-to-die room. There will be a day in the future (note: not near future) when all of the clothes are clean and folded and put away with more than 24 hours between this time and when the next mountain of laundry needs dealing with. It really will happen. Just not any time soon.

Sunday Styles

2010-11-07T20:15:00.002-05:00

One Day

2010-11-05T21:44:00.000-04:00

And if you have ANY connection to the worldwide education movement that is TFA (Teach for America) you know exactly how that slogan goes...

One day, all children in this nation will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education.

I am a member of the 2001 TFA Corps. I taught for two years in my first placement school then went on to help an incredible team of educators (mostly TFA alums themselves) start a small public middle school in the South Bronx of NYC. I spent two years building and leading the math and photography programs at that school before moving on to where I am now, working as a project manager in the field of education technology.

And, if you're a fan of Jane Aronson and her Worldwide Orphans Foundation (WWO) you may be familiar with this phrase:

To transform the lives of orphaned children by taking them out of anonymity and helping them to become healthy, independent, productive members of their communities and around the world.

Because every child deserves a loving, healthy family. To state the obvious my husband and I value the mission of WWO and became acutely aware just a short time after meeting that our future lives together would include adoption. Not because we wanted to save a child, but because we knew that if there came a time at some point in the future when a mother would make the painstaking decision to entrust us to parent her brilliant, beautiful child, that we wanted nothing more than to fulfill that privilege.

So now, more than 9 years later, nearly10 years since our wedding day and 10 years since my first days in the classroom and 3 years since our life changing trip to Ethiopia and 1 year since "completing" our family with little Leni, I'm being called out. Called out by TFA and the global education reform movement in general. Called out by the adoption community and worldwide organizations tasked to challenge the orphan crisis and improve the quality of life for children everywhere. Called out, and big time.

What am I doing today?

Since my days with TFA and IA (international adoption), which for all intensive purposes have not nor will ever end, I seem to have allowed myself to become less and less angry. Less angry about the injustices in education where the playing field is still so not leveled you'd be lucky not to be catapulted off one end if you walk the plank too far, and injustices in the worlds children where the immediate needs of orphanages requesting simple supplies simply aren't being met. I've somehow allowed myself to slip in to a routine that is just, well, just less angry.

It's good to be angry sometimes. It's amazing what you can get done when you're angry. I remember hating hating certain moments of teaching because I knew that despite any amount of effort put forth from my students they would always be at a significant (and I mean SIGNIFICANT) disadvantage when it came to graduating and going on for any sort of college experience. I hated hated walking through orphanages ripe with ringworm and other afflictions easily treatable by over the counter medications you often find being given away for free in American doctors offices. Things made me angry and I moved because of it. And then life, things, became easy. Sure, not without your run of the mill daily challenges but easy nonetheless.

After my experiences teaching and having done a decent amount of travel to the worlds countries it's pretty damn difficult to call my life anything other than easy.

I need to be angry again. To veer from the easy and move to the, movement. Not one day, but today, so that One Day...

10 years ago this kind of feeling landed me starting the best 10 years of my life, teaching, traveling, becoming a parent, twice. It's time to launch the next 10 year plan.

Reading Comprehension 101

2010-11-05T10:58:00.002-04:00

If you enjoyed (or not) Tim Wise's recent post I linked to yesterday then you may (or may not) wan to check out his response to the criticism it received. Again, below is a short except from the post but as always a full-read is recommended.

Reading Comprehension 101: Text, Subtext, and the Politics of Misinterpretation

"That said, and while I know we live in a culture where reading comprehension (and writing itself) is devalued — what with our emphasis on short, sweet text messages, or tweet-talk, in which we are expected to make a point in 140 characters — I am yet amazed at how difficult some find it to decipher the words I have caused to appear on the page, and to really interpret what they mean, as opposed to that which they do not.

To wit, after my latest piece on the election results went viral, there have been more than a few folks who have written to say how appalled they were by my “attack on white people,” or my “attack on America,” or my “hateful diatribe” in which I “gleefully anticipate the death of the elderly” and the “initiation of violent payback of whites writ large by people of color” once whites become a less prominent portion of the national population, a few decades hence. In other words, putting aside the inherent absurdity of this interpretation — I am white after all, as are my kids, as is my wife, as is my momma, all my immediate family and my best friend too — some who read the piece believe against all logic and in the face of plain English (however aggressive the piece may be), that I have announced, excitedly, the coming of a glorious race war and the end of white people.

(Sigh).

So perhaps we should start with the obvious, for those a bit too slow to begin the reading of the essay with, ya know, the title."

- Tim Wise

An Artistic Depiction

2010-11-05T10:04:00.003-04:00

We think this may have been Bridger and Helena's way of artistically visualizing this week's election results. Bridger, the aging fat cat in full death-stare mode yet still maintaining his distance from the clearly shocked infant unwilling to roll over yet still maintaining a death-grip on the pacifier. Call it what you will.

A Note From Tim Wise

2010-11-04T15:48:00.006-04:00

Interesting commentary from Tim Wise on the results of this week's elections found HERE. Warning, depending on your preferences regarding exposure to "potty words" you may prefer to read outside of the presence of children. Below is a short excerpt from the post, but I highly recommend clicking on the linked title to read the whole thing.

An Open Letter to the White Right, On the Occasion of Your Recent, Successful Temper Tantrum

"And in the pantheon of American history, old white people have pretty much always been the bad guys, the keepers of the hegemonic and reactionary flame, the folks unwilling to share the category of American with others on equal terms.

Fine, keep it up. It doesn’t matter.

Because you’re on the endangered list.

And unlike, say, the bald eagle or some exotic species of muskrat, you are not worth saving.

In forty years or so, maybe fewer, there won’t be any more white people around who actually remember that Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, Opie-Taylor-Down-at-the-Fishing Hole cornpone bullshit that you hold so near and dear to your heart.

There won’t be any more white folks around who think the 1950s were the good old days, because there won’t be any more white folks around who actually remember them, and so therefore, we’ll be able to teach about them accurately and honestly, without hurting your precious feelings, or those of the so-called “greatest generation” — a bunch whose white members were by and large a gaggle of miscreants who helped save the world from fascism only to return home and oppose the ending of it here, by doing nothing to lift a finger on behalf of the civil rights struggle.

So to hell with you and all who revere you.

By then, half the country will be black or brown. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Nothing, Senõr Tancredo.

Nothing, Senõra Angle, or Senõra Brewer, or Senõr Beck.

Loy tiene muy mal, hijo de Puta."

- Tim Wise

1 + 1 > 2

2010-11-02T15:05:00.003-04:00

I don't know how parents of 3+ children do it. YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED! Please, do share your secrets because 2 has created quite the juggling act for us. I will give us some credit and admit that at least we seem to be keeping the balls in the air for now, but never without a few buckets of sweat threatening to barrel down our brows... You know the phrase "just by the hair of my chinny chin chin"? Well, we're exhausting those there hairs. We rarely notice how huge the presence of the juggling act is until we spend some time with our family in MN and are reminded how much simpler things can be with a few extra sets of hands to balance the balls. We just don't think about it much when it's just the 4 of us, because that's just how it is and we roll with it and everything eventually gets done. But man, when you get to enjoy the sweetness that is family for a few days the juggling act turns into 7 1-ton semis smashing in to your forehead upon return to the norm.

It's similar to when one of us is traveling for work and the other is left to tend to the kiddies solo. After a day or so I get into a grind and things run pretty smoothly, but then we're both around for the morning/evening routine for a while and get used to having 2 sets of hands and then WHAM one of us leaves and the other scurries to the back corner of the upstairs closet as fast as humanly possible. I suppose it's no revelation that when things are made easier for a while it makes the return to slightly more difficult a WHOLE LOT MORE DIFFICULT. Almost makes me want to just stay put in slightly-more-difficult land so as never to get comfortable on easy street.

Wait, nope. Easy street is welcome in our parts any time. In fact I'm going to put out a welcome sign with gigantic blinking arrows pointing towards our house right now just to make sure it doesn't get lost on it's next run through town.

On a completely unrelated note Leni had her 4 month check up and is now 13 pounds (25%) and 24.5 inches (50%). Her 6 month check up in December will be a combo check up/travel vaccines for her and travel vaccines for Ash.

Mom + 6 month old + 3 1/2 year old + lots of needles = Daddy had better have one outstanding bottle of wine waiting with dinner that night.

The Growing Family

2010-11-01T12:56:00.006-04:00

My little sister just got married and Ash couldn't be more excited to have a new uncle to climb on and run circles around. Of course their current plan is to remain in MN so our plans to move family members to our neck of the woods in NY seem to have failed once again... Thankfully the whole "it requires a wedding or a funeral to bring a family together" idea doesn't seem to apply to our family. We manage to make it to MN several times a year and welcome the MN fan club to NY frequently as well. It's no secret that Ash is no stranger to airports, whether it be to pick family up or check-in ourselves. And no, I don't plan trips to MN for the sole purpose of being able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee that hasn't been reheated in the microwave 5 times. Though it is a pretty nice perk.

This time, though, one of the events waiting for us when we landed was my sisters wedding. And by "we" I mean me and the kids. Daddy was of playing in Barbados (ok ok, he was "working" there) so met us in MN instead of flying with us. Just me, the 4 month old, and the 3 1/2 year old. And if I do say so myself, we were a pretty darn cute bundle of commuters for 2 days. Yes, you read that right. It took us 2 days to complete the 3 hour flight from NY to MN. Let me explain...

Day of flight: Received an email 7 hours before takeoff informing me that our direct flight had been canceled. Spent 30 minutes on the phone figuring out new flights (direct flight no longer an option) only to discover that I had to leave the house (and fetch Leni from the babysitter and pickup Ash from school) in less than 5 minutes to catch a connecting flight through Chicago. Arrived at the airport, strapped both kids to the security buckets that get sent through the scanner at airport security and sent them through. OK, OK, no I didn't. But I wanted to. Boarded the plane. 2nd in line for takeoff, but wait, it's windy in Chicago so we're going to hang out on the tarmac for 2 hours. Got on the phone with the airline to sort out a new connecting flight since I'd now certainly miss the first one I was re-booked on only to find out that it had been canceled anyway. Guess we're spending the night in Chicago. But wait, a passenger got sick so we had to return to the terminal giving us the opportunity to get off the plane, spend the night in Brooklyn, and board a new (DIRECT!!! DIRECT!!!) flight to MN the next morning.

24 hours later we arrived only to find out that daddy's flight from Barbados to MN had been canceled. One day and 3 martinis later (I kid, I kid) the 4 of us were together in MN clinging to whatever strands of sanity managed to withstand the events of this most epic trip to family. And it goes without saying that it was so entirely and most definitely worth it. We'd do it again in a heartbeat, just might pack a grandma or two for the commute next time.

Which brings my most long winded of a story full circle to the real point of this post. Life may have landed us a few thousand miles from most of our family (SHOUT OUT TO OUR FAM IN PA WHO ARE ONLY 90 MINUTES AWAY - YOU ROCK!!) but that hasn't stopped us from being a part of it all. It just takes a few extra hours, a re-prioritization of finances in favor of the airline industry, and about 10,000 tons of patience in reserve for when life decides to make things interesting.

Welcome to the family Brad. And just for the record, it's your turn to come to NY.

Sunday Styles

2010-10-31T14:18:00.008-04:00

Papa

2010-10-29T23:28:00.000-04:00

Right

2010-10-26T11:01:00.005-04:00

I seem to be in a bit of a rut that's making me question whether I'm doing things the "right" way. Not that I didn't question before, but lately it's become annoyingly more frequent. It just seems that everyone is posting about literature that suggests we do this and experiences that suggest we do that and it all seems to eventually be contradicted somewhere else by someone else who swears this is the "right" way to do it. And then I close the Internet browser window, drop the magazine, turn off the radio, and look at my kids. Two pretty wonderful seemingly well-adjusted children who, in my humble opinion, are the epitome of right. We must have done something really really right to be granted the privilege of parenting these two. Their scenarios are unique. There are wrongs and there is loss. We will continue to make our best effort to do things the best way possible. Whether that's always going to be considered "right" by everyone else is another story. But beyond the research, the trends, the recommendations, the absolutely-not-unless-you-want-to-scar-your-child-for-life kind of advice, there are two pretty happy kids enjoying pretty healthy lives and well, how much "wrong" could we be doing?

Online

2010-10-25T13:47:00.006-04:00

I'd be lost without the ability to purchase necessities online and have them delivered right to my doorstep. Diapers, wipes, formula, baby gear, clothing, Halloween costumes, shoes, books, tights, etc etc etc. It's just so much easier to shop online than pack everyone up and go to an actual store. Diapers.com offers free (next day!) delivery for orders over $50, and I signed up for Amazon.com's "Prime Membership" which cost me $19 but guaranteed me free two-day delivery on purchases. Next day? Two days? These are words not found in my let's-make-a-plan-to-go-shopping vocabulary. Usually I start to think about going on a shopping trip and then a week or two later it might have happened. Not in the virtual shopping world though, no no no. I can discover I've ruined my last pair of black tights and have a new pair delivered in time for this week's meeting, no worries no stress. We can use the last baby wipe (haha, as if we'd ever run out of those - I think we have a stockpile large enough for a family of 25 in the basement...) and have a new case delivered the next morning. No delivery charge. The very thought of having to go to an actual Babies R Us to purchase such necessities and load them into the trunk and unpack everything at home only to realize I forgot at least one essential item gives me the shivers.

And on a completely random totally unrelated note...

Ash trying to order from the ~~beer~~ beverage menu

He settled for the cream meant for daddy's coffee

And, We Survive

2010-10-24T21:18:00.006-04:00

So, even on a Friday afternoon when Ash comes home with a temp of 103 and Leni is scratching at the leftover sticker-spots left on her forehead from her hearing test, it was still day 1 of an amazing fall weekend. Dose #1 of children's ibuprofen brought his temp down to the high 90's and dose #2 given in the middle of the night when he had spiked back up to 101 brought him down to the 98.6 range. Permanently. Leni never so much as sneezed the entire weekend.

So, we survived. And we owe our guardian angel big time. As a start we offer the following tribute to her. Enjoy.

TGIF, Until It's TGIF + Doctors

2010-10-22T21:39:00.002-04:00

We were all set for a great Friday. A beautiful, 60 degree, semi-sunny, colors at their peak kind of Friday in the Hudson Valley. Then I had to take Leni to her follow up appointment to have her hearing tested (she originally failed the hearing test when she was discharged from the NICU a week after birth), which meant electrodes taped to her head here there and everywhere and long periods of motionless silence needed to detect the presence of her ability to hear. Thankfully she was an absolute rock star and was able to complete the testing in under an hour and passed with flying colors. Often newborns fail in the first weeks after birth simply because of the circumstances of the testing - fussyness, etc etc etc so we weren't terribly worried, but it's still nice to officially have the green light. And mere moments after leaving the docs office for Leni's hearing test we picked Ash up from school, where he appeared more than lethargic and obviously did not feel well, to discover he had a temp of 103. One dose of Childrens Ibuprofen and an hour spent napping in mommy's bed (with Scooby Doo on in the background) and his temp was down to 98.9. And we made sure to monitor Leni's temp throughout the evening and she seems to be (for the moment) avoiding her brother's bug. But he was SO SAD when we told him he couldn't kiss his sister night night...

So I suppose as far as a Friday full of doctors could have gone, ours wasn't quite so bad. Leni's hearing is just fine and Ash's temp is under control and tomorrow it's supposed to be 62 and sunny so our previously planned pumpkin picking adventures should be a go.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday.

The Sleepy Feeding

2010-10-21T13:02:00.008-04:00

As much as we try to keep life casual and free flowing, we definitely have a schedule. Actually we have lots of schedules. One for Ash's school, one for Leni's babysitters (and soon to be daycare), both of our work schedules, the cleaning lady's schedule, the studio assistant's schedule, the travel schedule, the this the that and the other schedule. Lots of schedules. One in particular is Leni's feeding schedule. Specifically, the one feeding that falls outside of normal awake hours usually sometime between 4AM-6AM. The sleepy feeding. We swap who takes this feeding each night so that we're both at least presented with the option of getting a full night's sleep every other night.

A full nights sleep. Yeah. About that.

We're not very good at going to bed before midnight, so even when it's one of our "nights off" from the sleepy feeding the maximum possible sleep hours is 7, and that's only if Ash sleeps till 7 (not common) and only if the "night off" didn't still result in being awake during the feeding, because let's face it - when she wakes up and one of us stumbles out of bed to go to her room and change her diaper and make a bottle and feed her...well, it's almost impossible for the other to remain asleep. So, a much more common sleep number is 4, sometimes 5, and when we're really really lucky and all of the stars align we manage to attain 6 full hours of sleep. That doesn't happen often.

More common?

In bed around midnight. Asleep around 12:30. Shrieks over the baby monitor around 4:30. Back to bed around 5:00, only to be awoken an hour or so later by the cutest 3 year old voice in the universe informing us that he's all done sleeping. And yes, I do understand that if we'd just go to bed earlier the whole 4-6 hours of sleep thing would quickly turn into 6-8 which is more than acceptable, but what would be sacrificed in order to make that happen are things we're just not terribly excited to sacrifice.

Like.

A couple hours of adult time, sans any interruptions from children. A couple hours of sanity where we can just sit and stare at something, whether it be each other or the TV or our computers. Just sit and stare and be quiet and breath a little easier knowing The Shriekers are tucked comfortably in to dreamland and we're free to just sit and stare.

So for tonight, who's turn is it anyway? Well, since I clearly remember stumbling to the nursery at 4:10 this morning that means it's daddy's turn to take over the sleepy feeding. And maybe we'll push our bedtime up an hour and manage to be asleep by 11:30, and maybe the Little Shrieker will sleep soundly till 6AM. But probably not. And that's OK. Because both of us sort of enjoy the Little Shrieker's sleepy feeding, and both of us sort of look forward to being woken up just after the sleepy feeding to the Big Shrieker's announcement that he's all done sleeping.

But.

Both of us really enjoy those hours spent after the Shriekers are sound asleep and we can sit and stare. In quiet.

Sunday Styles

2010-10-17T21:31:00.024-04:00

This was one of those weekends you wish you could press repeat-repeat-repeat on for the next 5,167 weeks. First we headed to the Poconos to hang out with family, including one of Ash's most favorite cousins. Then we headed to Storm King, one of the worlds best sculpture parks, with Ash's best girlfriend. Family + Friends + Hikes to Waterfalls + Massive Sculpture Parks + Beautiful Fall Weather = HAPPY.

But What's Her NAME Mommy?

2010-10-14T12:02:00.010-04:00

Ash knows he has two mommies and two daddies, us and his Ethiopia mommy/daddy. He also knows we're here for good, that we're never leaving him, that he never ever ever has to worry about us going away. But sometimes in conversation he'll insist that he only has one mommy and one daddy, which leads us into a conversation with him about Ethiopia, his beginnings, etc, and then eventually he comes around to once again embrace the fact that he has two. Recently, however, the conversation started including increased interest in who his Ethiopia mommy and daddy are, specifically what they're called. He wants to know their names. He wants to personalize them. They're no longer "just" his Ethiopia mommy and daddy to him, rather now they've been launched in his mind in to being actual people that he feels inclined to care about. This is a big jump. A good jump.

We know her name but not his. We have many pictures of her saved to page through with him some night in the near future, but none of him. We received varied reports from varied individuals about his whereabouts when we were in Ethiopia so don't even know for sure the exact story. And now that he's asking, really really asking, I just wish we knew more. We know enough, I guess, I just wish we knew more.

Or maybe not.

I've read several accounts of orphans in orphanages lately that make me not want to know more. They make what I do know seem to be quite enough. We visited our son's orphanage and can picture him, 11 months old and barely 15 pounds lying in a dark sandy room the size of my bedroom jammed wall to wall with at least 10 infant cribs. The nearest nanny two rooms away trying to feed a room of toddlers single handed. And still this was a step up from what his birth family was able to provide. That picture burned in to memory permanently. Sometimes it makes me not want to know more.

But.

While at the orphanage we also met our son's birth mother. Despite being obviously wrecked by the memory of her last moments with her child she was stunningly beautiful. I have a thousand questions that I wish I would have asked her. There's so much more to that part of his story that I wish we knew.

And.

We'd be hypocrites if we wanted only half the details. We don't want half, we want them all, but it's still to this day hard for me to stomach the reality of what was his reality. It makes my heart hurt, and then enrages me that I haven't become a less selfish less indulgent human who didn't stop at one adoption but kept going, giving my all to help increase the quality of life for even one more child. And I'm not talking about keeping going as in keeping adopting. I'm talking about raising funds, donating time, being helpful.

I should be being more helpful.

My son wants to know more about his Ethiopia family out of curiosity and a longing to understand who he is. I want to know more of his story in part because it makes me want to be a better person.

"But what's her name mommy?"

Her name is beautiful. Her name is love. Her name is everything good in the world you can possibly imagine wrapped into the biggest embrace you've ever felt. Her name is tremendous strength and undying commitment to make sure you're OK. Her name is also extreme sadness, because the orphan crisis is real, more real to her than anyone, and we're not doing enough.

It's easy to slip in to the happy healthy cycle of the life that is currently ours and block the images we've seen. That's a big reason for why we value travel the way we do, because it forces the reality of the rest of the world back into our front view mirror and reminds us that we need to do more, to be more helpful. So, I need to do more. I need to be more helpful. When I talk to my son about his birth story I want to be able to say that we as people are doing everything we can to provide healthy environments and families to the world's orphans while working tirelessly to rid the world of the need for adoption in the first place.

I see so much of her in him. There's so much behind something as simple as a name.

Talent

2010-10-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

Not Us

2010-10-12T22:09:00.009-04:00

The parents who spend all day with their children and love every second of it, or who work outside the home and spend every moment away from their children thinking about their children. I admit, it's not us. I know - we're AWFUL. We enjoy being sans child every now and then. Wait, no. I'm being honest here. We enjoy it...frequently. We also LOVE our children. And we think about our children during some of the moments we're apart, but not all. And actually, we don't feel that bad about it. Because when we do think about them, and when we are together, well, we dig it. And when we spend A LOT of time together MULTIPLE days in a row? Well, we still dig it, but a little less. So maybe, just maybe, today when Ash returned to school after the holiday weekend and Leni's babysitter arrived to love her for the afternoon...maybe, just maybe, we went to lunch. Solo. Sans children. And it was really really good.

And when we returned home? We spent the remaining hours of the work day in the studio, working. And when the work day ended we spent the entire evening loving our children. Playing outside together, cooking and then eating dinner together, reading stories together, and singing night night songs together. And then we tucked the kids into bed and almost giddily tipped over in to our own. Happy to once again find ourselves enjoying a moment sans children, but even happier to flip on the video monitor and just watch them both sleep for a few minutes. Just a few, but a very very precious few.

That's us.

Monday Styles?

2010-10-11T22:54:00.005-04:00

Takahachi

2010-10-10T20:32:00.004-04:00

I'm sure I've mentioned Takahachi in an earlier post, our absolute favorite Japanese restaurant in NY. We've been taking Ash there since day one #1 because of the utter deliciousness of the food and #2 because despite being a trendy hot-spot for sushi in Tribeca they don't growl at us when we walk through the door with children and a stroller. They even hand Ash their child-friendly chopsticks within the first minutes of being seated and make sure HE'S the one who's satisfied. Avocado maki roll not cut thin enough for you? No worries, we'll have our chefs take care of it. Red miso soup too hot? We'll send some ice right over. It's awesome. They also have one of our favorite hot dishes, black miso cod (honestly, it's sort of like heating up a stick of butter and serving it on a plate), which in the past we've always shared as an appetizer together. Until this week when ash ate the whole dang thing. By himself. I guess we'll be ordering 2 orders from now on. Turns out it would actually be cheaper to hire a babysitter than to bring Ash with us for Japanese.

And the nail in the coffin? When he asked for 2 sips of my wine. Listen to me when I say that that was the last straw. Child of mine who I adore completely, I will order more black miso cod for you and I will share my salmon avocado when you realize how infinitely better it is than the plain avocado roll you ordered. But step off when it comes to my wine baby.

Hands Full

2010-10-08T11:13:00.002-04:00

One of the only "I'm no longer an only child" coping mechanisms frequently visible with Ash is that he likes to be carried. A lot. I have a setup when I'm solo with the kids where Ash can ride in the Stokke stroller and I carry Leni in the Ergo, or put Leni in the Stokke and just hip-hold Ash. I MUCH prefer the prior seeing as our 3 1/2 year old has grown about 4 feet in the last month and must have gained about 50 pounds of muscle. Thankfully I'm not solo with them too often and daddy takes over the hauling around of the big kid. It's awful these two have such a strained relationship...

No, they're not both mine. I borrowed #2 from a friend for the evening, and now at the top of my "I have no idea how they do it" list right alongside single parents are parents of twins. Seriously, no idea.

We like having our hands full. I think it's because that leaves us with less time to have any awareness of all the crap we must be screwing up because we're always busy moving on to the next thing. If we keep moving forward there's a better chance we'll actually get something right eventually, and then, then we'll slow down for a second to celebrate the moment. Turns out we get to celebrate a lot these days.

Sunday Styles

2010-10-03T10:29:00.002-04:00

Dare I Say...

2010-09-30T09:51:00.002-04:00

We have a schedule. And not just a schedule, but one that lands Ash in his bed sleeping 8:30'ish and Leni in her bed sleeping 9:30-10:30'ish and all of us snoozing soundly until 5:30-6:30'ish. And after Leni's AM feeding she returns to her crib for another few hours allowing us to focus on getting Ash ready for school and us ready for work and holy cow this sounds so normal now that I'm actually typing it out and reading it right in front of me. We're so screwed. But until the Sleep Gods decide to revoke our seemingly incredible sleep karma we're going to enjoy the snot out of it.

Do I Look Like You Mommy?

2010-09-29T14:57:00.003-04:00

Ash is a very perceptive little boy. He hears things, thinks about them, forms opinions and asks follow up questions. So when people see Leni and announce that she looks so much like mommy or daddy he hears them and immediately starts focusing on her to figure out what parts of her they must be talking about. And then he turns the focus on himself to see what parts of him must look like mommy and daddy. To date he's established that only mommy and Ash have brown eyes (dad's hazel and Leni's blue), that he has short hair like daddy, and that his hands are bigger than Leni's. (He never misses an opportunity to inform the world that he is MUCH bigger and MUCH older than his baby sis.) Our differences inevitably come up as well, which almost always includes his chocolateness and mommy's vanillaness, his curly hair and Leni's straight hair, and how his feet will one day be as big as daddy's. They're good conversations. For now. But one day, when he's gained a more thorough understanding of how we came to be a family, that day it might not settle so well when he hears how much his sister looks like his mommy and daddy. It might just settle like a lump of bricks slamming the words "you're different" into his gut. And we like different, we celebrate different, but that day he might just want different to go away for a little while and I hope I have the words to bring him back to where he was the day before. Celebrating our similarities and our differences, loving the uniqueness that is our family, and understanding that sometimes people don't think before they speak.

Recently Ash started talking about a couple trips we have coming up that he's excited about. He began talking about how we'd need 3 beds in Mexico instead of 2 now that Leni's around, and how he doesn't think Leni is big enough to go see the animals at Disney's Animal Kingdom. And then he started talking about bellies. He asked where his Florida mommy lives and where his Mexico mommy lives and if there are babies in their bellies now. A little background: Ashton found out there was a baby in mommy's belly shortly after our trip to Florida last year, and one of the ways we talk to him about his birth mom is through describing that he was born in her belly before coming to us, and he calls her his Ethiopia mommy. So, talk about mommies in other countries/states and bellies on vacation isn't entirely out of nowhere. But, I was under the impression that he "got" that he had 2 mommies, me and his Ethiopia mommy who's belly he was born in. Apparently he thinks he has a mommy wherever we vacation.

These types of conversations are common. Similarities and differences, birth mommy and me, where is Ethiopia and does Leni have an Ethiopia mommy. To some these might sound like simple enough topics, and on the surface they might be, but there's a whole lot below the surface of a 3 year old boy. A whole lot. And I sooooo do not want to screw up the answers.

"Colorblindness"

2010-09-28T15:38:00.002-04:00

Author Time Wise recently posted "New Study: "Colorblindness" Reduces Kids' Ability to See, Challenge Racism" based on new Kellogg School research that "suggests a colorblind approach to diversity may frustrate efforts to identify and confront discrimination". Both worth a quick read.

Sunday Styles

2010-09-26T11:59:00.002-04:00

Bring Your Daughter To Work Day

2010-09-24T11:00:00.000-04:00

While In The Office

2010-09-23T13:21:00.007-04:00

Because that's where I am a lot these days. Back in the office. Working. Occasionally sneaking a peak out the window into the windows where my 3 month old is being cuddled and loved by her babysitter. Well OK, maybe not occasionally, maybe A LOT. But we got lucky. Very lucky. Ash loves his preschool, Leni loves her babysitters, we're likely going to be able to hold off putting her in full time daycare until at least January and even then we might be able to keep it at part time if we can talk the babysitters in to extending their availability into 2011. Ash has already bonded with some great new friends at school and is constantly amazing me with new talents. Like the time earlier this week when I found him changing the oil in the Hyundai and fixing the office network so that when you hit Print on a document it doesn't blow up the coffee maker. He's amazing.

Where was I going with that. Oh yeah, while I was in the office... I had a flashback to my university years in Bozeman, MT. Just me, Mike, a zillion pair of skis, and a six pack of Moose Drool. We'd talk about living abroad for a year, traveling, getting married, and moving to NY. We'd talk about family and how amazing it would be to bring home a child through international adoption. I'd balk at the idea of ever being pregnant, but never entirely swore it off. Those were great years.

I want Ash and Leni to have lots of years like that. Years spent outside, traveling, loving people and experiencing life. I want Ash's birth mom to know in her heart that we're doing our best and couldn't possibly be loving him any more, and I want Leni to know she's adored beyond belief. And occasionally I'd like a six pack of Moose Drool to magically arrive on the doorstep. Because really, who knows how far along with those dreams the two of us could have possibly gotten without the Moose Drool.

If They'd Just Stop Falling

2010-09-21T15:46:00.002-04:00

Dang acorns. Our office/studio is conveniently located directly underneath a giant oak tree that drops equally giant acorns onto the roof of the office sending them bouncing into the yard, sometimes hitting the roofs of the cars first before inevitably settling right in the foot path between the house and the office making it impossible to go between them without shoes on. If they'd just stop falling life would be so much better. Squirrels would have an easier time locating their precious food and I wouldn't have inch-deep pits on the bottoms of my feet from walking around barefoot.

Huh. When the only improvement to life you can think of is removal of the falling acorns in the yard you know you've got it good.

Sunday Styles

2010-09-19T09:03:00.002-04:00

That's Just How They Come

2010-09-16T12:44:00.005-04:00

I went back to work a few weeks ago and since then have had all the requisite "how's the family how's the baby" questions from clients. Some have full knowledge of the growings of our family, others just know I was out on maternity leave just like the last time two years ago. All of them ask for pictures. It's always funny to watch the reaction from a client who either wasn't around two years ago or was but just assumed maternity leave = birth of biological child. First they wonder how on Earth my 2 year old (which is how old he would be had my maternity leave = his biological birth) could be SO BIG. Then they wonder what the Father situation must be. And then, finally, I relieve them of the massive eye twitching and nervous shaking I've caused and provide them with the answer to why the son I was on maternity leave to mother in 2008 was born a year earlier, and why I was just on maternity leave leave to mother a daughter born, well, born just now. Answer?

Because that's just how they come.

My lovely niece fed me that fancy little line. She was being presented with the idea of an adoption by family friends who were considering it as a possible way to grow their family, and they were concerned about how they would explain where the baby came from to my niece and nephews. Well, my niece who has watched families grow by adoption in 4 out of 5 cases on one side of our family kindly informed the world that she always thought that's just how babies came. Until Leni of course, whose birth thoroughly confused my niece as there were no airplanes or multiple mothers involved. I'm pretty sure she figures Leni got the short end of the stick on that one. Only one mother? Puh-shaw. Needless to say the family friends are now pretty sure the niece and nephew will be able to handle the news of another adoption just fine.

Anyhow.

I'm obviously not trying to lighten the impact of adoption or having multiple mothers or any of that, it's just nice to be refreshed with the possibility of simplicity from the very source of simplicity itself - the mind of a child. Well, that and the line makes it easy to screw with poor well intentioned people occasionally who had nothing but an honest pondering about our family and really probably don't deserve to be messed with but it's fun and I can, so there. That's just how I come.

Back To School

2010-09-13T10:40:00.003-04:00

Today marked our first day back to the closest version of "normal" we've been in nearly 3 months. Ash returned to school (first day of preschool!), Leni's babysitter arrived to take over the baby routine, and mom and dad left, and I mean really LEFT for work. Ever since Leni's birth Ash was either on a modified summer day schedule for school or on vacation from it entirely and we'd been juggling the Ash/baby routine between the two of us and some VERY appreciated family and friends. Without their help we would have surely found ourselves completely looped. THANK YOU. But today, tomorrow and most definitely Wednesday when mommy hits the road and will be out of earshot of the babe for an entire day for the first time ever, there will be no juggling involved. From here on out we've got a schedule back, and for better or worse it seems to suit us.

Fav Foto Friday

2010-09-10T03:00:00.000-04:00

Gunk Haus

2010-09-09T09:08:00.008-04:00

And no, I'm not (completely) inferring that our house has been taken over by gunk. But now that I think of it that might just be a nice transition to an update on our transition...

First and most importantly, Gunk Haus is actually a new'ish restaurant in the Hudson Valley that quickly became one we frequent, frequently. The owners spent years completely remodeling their building into it's current state as a brew house/German beer pub and blogged throughout the process. It's fun to follow along with other's journeys. They serve nearly every dish on a homemade pretzel bun. Seriously. And then you get to finish your meal with these little homemade pretzels stuffed with chocolate. And top it all off with great drink and one killer view of the Shawangunk Ridge (hence the name "Gunk" Haus as the Shawangunks are often just referred to as the Gunks). Let's just say we're big fans. And yes, when we ask Ash what he'd like for dinner he tends to reply most often with a name of a restaurant (or his favorite dish at the restaurant), so when he starts blabbing about chocolate and pretzels we know exactly where he's talking about.

And then there's the matter of our own gunk house...

Gone are the days of Leni's 5-6 hour block of sleep at night, she apparently prefers the 3 hour pattern instead. But, hello to the days when she sleeps mostly in her crib in her own room. This is a very good thing. I'll happily move to the glider in her room twice a night to nurse and/or bottle if it means having our own bedroom back to being ours. We didn't go the co-sleep route with Ashton either, though occasionally he'd join us, and still does, when he wakes up way too early or just can't sleep for some reason. I still wonder if that was the right way to handle it when he came home, if he might have attached quicker had we co-slept, but things seem to have taken an OK track with the way we did handle it so I try not to dwell on other possibilities too much. With Leni we don't have the 13 months of separation and loss contributing to the process that we had with Ash so the whole idea of attachment is a much lighter topic this go-round. I barely questioned whether it was time to move her to her crib or not, she just seemed ready. That said, I'm slightly more stressed by her basic health needs than I ever was with Ash. He was 13 months old and much less breakable. His health needs had obvious treatment plans, he could eat anything. A little different with a newborn. Anyhow, different kids and different situations = very different stressors.

Thankfully they seem to dig each other quite a lot. She's most expressive when he's in the room, and he is absolutely thrilled by any conversation that involves the gunk that seems to be constantly flowing out of his baby sister. I'm hoping it's just his age that's prompting a fascination with all things bodily fluid. Want to make Ash grin from ear to ear? Just tell him his little sis has a poopy diaper. Done.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-08T09:03:00.000-04:00

Growth Exponential

2010-09-07T11:16:00.004-04:00

And this is when all adults of the world, both parents and not, look at me quizzically and shout one large resounding DUH in my gigantic naive face that was clearly on a vacation to La-La Land the day they went over the topic of parenting multiples in Sunday School. And I reply with a gracious yet exhausted-of-every-last-ounce-of-usable-energy sigh and flop of my head into my hands.

Two is so much more than double the work of one. In fact, I'm reminded of the day I learned to graph Y = X^2 and discovered the joys of exponential growth charts. Today I'm feeling a little bit like the upper Y values on that graph of Y = x^2...

Again, DUH. I know.

But. Ashton has been on summer break from school, I returned to work, Helena decided she needed more nutrients than what I could physically offer her all by myself, Daddy's travel schedule has been Insane with a capital I (which I'd make exponentially capital if that was possible), and well... It's been kind of a big month.

Sure, Ash will return to school next week and I enjoy my job and Leni and I are sorting out her nourishing preferences (and my capabilities of meeting those preferences) and Daddy is... well Daddy's still busy busy but also starting to internalize the few yet important keys to a not bonkers Mommy. It's just taking a while to get to that slightly more calm state that once existed but now apparently requires a pirate's bounty kind of bribe to lure anywhere near our property.

Anyhow.

Two big enormous super-sized bonuses:
1) Ash LOVES his school and is so excited to start the new year next week. We couldn't be luckier to have such an amazing facility accessible mere blocks away from home.
2) We're worked out a decent schedule with two babysitters that should help us stave off daycare for Leni for a few months. We absolutely trust the daycare center we picked out for her to start full time in January, but there's nothing like knowing that she'll be in the comfort of her own home, right across the driveway from our home office, receiving one-on-one care for a few more months.

But.

Even with those two wonderful facts on full display right there in front of me, I'm still stressed out about making sure Ash gets the attention he needs while Leni gets the nutrition she needs while my work gets the productivity they need while Daddy gets the evidence he needs to remain under the impression that he didn't marry a complete wack job. And not quite so surprisingly all of this is not helping my efforts to boycott Dunkin Donuts.

And the one tidbit that I'll continue to hold on to with every shred of strength in my soul is the knowledge that this is just a phase and these days we're in a sort of revolving door relationship with phases so I could very well wake up tomorrow and not feel the ten ton weight on my chest that threatened to bury me in the Mariana Trench this morning.

Universe, if you're listening, it's about time for a phase change.

Sunday Styles

2010-09-05T08:36:00.001-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-01T10:13:00.002-04:00

Check It Out

2010-08-31T23:13:00.000-04:00

Because she says it so well. My Kid Is Better Than Your Kid.

Napping In Brooklyn

2010-08-29T22:47:00.003-04:00

So we got to Brooklyn and I went to put Leni down for a nap and Ash became very insistent that she sleep in his room instead of in the pack n play in ours. I said OK, as long as he could create a safe napping environment for her. And this is what he came up with.

Yo Gabba Gabba

2010-08-27T21:33:00.005-04:00

That lump on my chest? Leni. Strapped in to the sling snuggly as can be while mom and Ash rocked out to Yo Gabba Gabba at the original sight for the Woodstock festival in the 60's in Bethel, NY. Mommy gets a gold star for braving the Yo Gabba crowd solo with 2 month old and uber-hyper 3 year old in tow, though a t-shirt that says "I nursed my kid at Yo Gabba Gabba and only 3 people saw my boobies" would do too...

TGIF

Just Doing It

2010-08-26T20:26:00.003-04:00

I'm a "no going back" type. Things I do are usually last minute decisions that have been playing out in slo-mo in my mind for YEARS and then are carried out instantaneously at the drop of a hat. Where to go to University, to live in S. America for a year, to apply for Teach for America and relocate to NY the day after our Montana wedding. And more recent events such as buying a home upstate while maintaining an apartment in the city, stopping the bottle for Ash, moving him from his crib to his toddler bed to his brand new big boy room and bed... all things that I blinked and decided to just do.
FYI: The ways we chose to grow our family were most certainly NOT one of those things. Just, you know, to clear up a couple possible wonderings...

Anyhow.

Tonight we're moving Leni to her crib. In her room. That means she's there right now, as I type, and daddy is currently disassembling the pack n play she's been sleeping in for the past month or so (after she upgraded from the bassinet where she spent her first 3-4 weeks) so that I do not have the option to move her back in to a crib in our room. Well, there's always the option to bring her in to bed with me (which is likely to happen...) but that will always be there no matter what. So, as she lies there all by herself in her very own crib in her very own room with her only company being Baby Tad and the Hitachi Magic Wand, I wonder where the freaking hell the last 2 months have gone. Honestly.

So. We're just doing it.

Why?

Because.

Monday.

Monday, I go back to work. And Monday I need to not be popping up every 45 minutes in the middle of the night to make sure the snort I heard wasn't her esophagus spontaneously combusting. I need to know that when we all awake to perform "the routine" bright and early Monday that we'll all be as rested as humanly possible. Now, I'm not that nuts. I get what "humanly possible" means in my situation, trust me. Which is why it's even more important to optimize the "possible" part of the phrase.

So. As I listen to her non-combustible snort over the baby monitor and watch Ash absolutely glue his eyes to the baby monitor screen so that he can proclaim "THERE'S BABY HELENA IS SHE OK???" every 30 seconds I ask only this:

May the bright eyes of the Gods, Karma, and Leonardo DiCaprio bless us with a calm and blissful transition this night. And may no esophagus be discovered combusted.

Purple Love

2010-08-24T22:24:00.007-04:00

We gave it our best shot, but there's just no beating the gravitational pull that keeps yanking us back to Purple Pride and another season as MN Vikings fans. We're definitely New Yorkers but switching our loyalties from the Vikings to Giants just never felt quite right. So here we are, as purple as it gets.

So, Leni made it through airport security and landed in MN for her first of what are sure to be many MN world tours. Ash tried to give her all of his priceless pointers during the flight, like always ask the ones named grandma and papa for treats and remember to stay on the quiet side after 8PM so mom and dad will just forget that it's your bedtime and you'll get to stay up till all hours playing with your cousins. She didn't seem too terribly receptive to his gems of wisdom but I'm sure that will change quickly in the years to come. Ash pretty much has MN wrapped around his finger at this point...

No matter how many treks we make to MN it never ceases to amaze me how genuinely wonderful it is to have family in the room next door or right across the street or on their way over for a coffee and a quick visit. New York may be our home but we sure are suckers for the purple love.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-18T01:00:00.000-04:00

Just Picture It

2010-08-16T22:14:00.005-04:00

Saturday morning. Baby Child just fed (aka, snoozing soundly) and Toddler Child sweetly engrossed in a Care Bears movie on daddy's lap. Mommy sneakily wraps her legs around the corner and tip-toes up the stairs to the bathroom. The room where the bathtub is. The bathtub, as in the thing mommy was prohibited from using during during the pregnancy and then prohibited from using again until after the incision from the cesarean healed (another 6 weeks). There's just enough hot water left in the hot water heater after the morning laundry load filled with "we're parents of a newborn" and "we're parents of a newly potty trained toddler" puked/pee'd on items (sometimes both) to fill the tub with the most scrumptious hot bubbly water. Oh, and it doesn't end there. That bathroom I mentioned earlier? The one with the bathtub? IT IS THE ONLY ROOM IN THE HOUSE WITH A LOCK. Me and a few of the most recent editions of NY Mag, well, we enjoyed some much needed alone time. The only thing that could have possibly enhanced the experience would have been Leo DiCaprio appearing in the window for the soul purpose of dropping off a perfectly iced margarita on the rocks no salt...

And then just picture it again

Saturday night. Toddler Child has brushed his teeth, gone potty, read stories, sung songs, gone potty again, and is now singing himself to sleep with Plain White T's tunes (see post below). Baby Child on the other hand is clearly resisting all efforts for a pre-11PM snooze time. Sure it's been nice that our now nearly 8 week old daughter has delivered at least one 6-hour nightly block of sleep during actual nighttime hours since she was 4-5 weeks old, but we're going for gold here folks. We want to control when that 6-hour block happens, and if at all possible extend it to 7 or 8 or 9 or... So, have you seen the episode of Sex and the City where Samantha babysits for Miranda and the vibrating chair runs out of batteries so Samantha replaces them with her Hitachi Magic Wand?

Bottom line = IT WORKS. Sure, go ahead and judge. But Baby's got a new crib toy and mommy and daddy seem to have been green lighted for a 9:30PM bedtime. Score.

Sometimes just picturing it looks better to some than others. In this case, anyone out there currently parenting both a toddler and an infant is currently hating us. A Lot. Well, that or they just installed a lock on their bathroom (the one with the bathtub) door and are searching for the nearest Hitachi product retail shop to their home and are headed there. Right. Now.

As Easy As One Two, One Two Three Four

2010-08-15T21:45:00.000-04:00

Ash's version of the Plain White T's song "1234"

And the original version, as sung by the Plain White T's

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-11T09:19:00.003-04:00

You Put The Lime In The...

2010-08-09T00:01:00.000-04:00

A few nights ago we got to meet Ash's BFF's new little sister. Her due date was about a week and a half before Leni's but, well, you know the story. So, while we were reveling in some adult conversation over our first margaritas in oh, about 9 months, the 3 year old boys could be faintly heard giggling in the room down the hall while they occupied themselves ~~trashing O's room~~ playing peacefully and the newbie girls hung out in their respective vibrating and/or oscillating contraptions. The kind that go through 17 of the rarest sized batteries on Earth every week but you'll happily hunt down and pay for because you secretly wish you had your own vibrating oscillating contraption and can't fathom the thought of depriving your infant of one as long as it's still legal and hasn't yet become a denied right for infants under the Defense of Marriage Act...

Anyhow.

So we're sitting there and it suddenly occurs to each of us at nearly the exact same moment that our children are the the freaking bomb. OK, maybe we'd had this thought to ourselves before but at this particular moment is was just so ridiculously BLINKING IN NEON LIGHTS kind of clear. So naturally the conversation moved to cloning.

The result?

We narrowed down all potential causes for such uncanny fortune (via the most scientific of methods, of course) to...

Disney and Bud Light Lime.

Why?

Because that's where and what we were all doing in the weeks leading up to celestial alignment that delivered us two of the chillest baby girls ever.

And then the weekend continued and we celebrated Christmas in August (complete with a gift for each and an evening of The Grinch and several rousing rounds of Hungry Hungry Hippo), a Sunday stocked with farm visits and berry picking, and well...

I'll be toasting The Universe tonight with a Bud Light Lime.

Sunday Styles

2010-08-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

The Babysitters

2010-08-07T11:57:00.005-04:00

Fav Foto Friday

2010-08-06T15:55:00.004-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-04T10:37:00.001-04:00

Welcome August

2010-08-02T10:31:00.004-04:00

July (forever to be known as the 31 sleepless days when daddy had more traveling projects than ever and mommy morphed into Agent MMM: Maniacal Milk-producing Machine) is out and August has happily rolled its way in. Nearly 6 weeks down as a family of 4 and I'm proud to report we're all still breathing, albeit a bit quicker than before at times. Like the time I realized I had 5 minutes to get Ash to school and Leni had just filled her diaper (and jammies) and I hadn't brushed my teeth and Ash got both legs stuck in one hole in his underpants and the cat had just escaped. Ash was only 1 minute late to school that day. And the time daddy was on his FINAL flight of a 5-week travel spree for work and had to be deplaned then re-planed 5 or 6 times before the flight was canceled then rebooked on the next flight (that was leaving from the complete opposite side of the airport in 16 minutes), meanwhile the kids and I anxiously prepped for his return home by trying to simultaneously bathe the 3 year old and feed the 5 week old and try to identify which of the 3 piles of laundry are A) puked on B) spilled on C) clean, because everything fits in to 1 of those 3.

And then he was really really home and I really really popped the champagne and we proceeded to hang out together, all 4 of us, for an entire weekend. And daddy didn't even have to be at an airport at 6AM Monday morning! We may even venture to wing night at the village pub tonight in celebration! I wonder what super spicy buffalo chicken does to the flavor of breast milk.

Buh-bye July and Hellooooo August!

Kid stats:
Ash made the move to big boy underpants a little over a week ago and we've enjoyed being (nearly) accident free ever since. His cereal of choice for potty battleship is Kix. He's a puzzle-putting-together machine. Seriously, give him a puzzle listed for age 5+ and he'll have it put together faster than I can place our dinner order for sushi delivery.
Leni continues to grow like a weed. She's gone from 4lbs 13oz to 7lbs 6oz in just less than 6 weeks. She giggles in her sleep and has started to grab objects in front of her. She'll be carefully selecting which of Ash's puzzle pieces to slobber over in no time.

And us?
Last night Ash kissed Mommy and Leni goodnight and brought Daddy upstairs for stories. Mommy and Leni listened through the window while swinging in the hammock on the porch. Then Mommy and Daddy enjoyed a Beer and some animal crackers while watching the Discovery Channel's Shark Week episode #1.

August = So far, so good.

Fav Foto Friday

2010-07-30T17:37:00.000-04:00

Now That THAT'S Over

2010-07-27T16:05:00.003-04:00

Because it's clearly over right? The whole phase-changing life gets flipped right on top of itself thing that whispers softly in your ear "you're doing a great job and it's all coming together" only to grab your ponytail and dunk you face first in to the toilet for a good 'ol fashioned swirly mere moments later. Over. Yeah.

Well it may not be over, but some good news is that our pediatrician is still claiming that I'm doing a decent job. Ash (AKA Master of the Universe) seems to be potty trained and Leni (AKA I'll sleep whenever the hell I want thankyouverymuch even if that doesn't include the hours of 10PM-3AM) is growing like a weed. She even officially made it on to the newborn growth chart today weighing in at 6lbs 14oz. Not bad seeing as she's still supposed to be inside me for another 8 days. Sure, it's been a while since I've shaved my legs or played any sort of active role in an adult conversation, but I have mastered the art of the "I'm a sincere listener" head nod and ability to keep eyes open just long enough for the other participants to assume I'm totally engaged. Totally. And did you read the first part of the paragraph? The doc said I was doing a DECENT job! Champagne toast at my house!

So anyhow.

The plan was for me to be hyper productive during my maternity leave and do things like clean out / organize / rearrange the play room, actually keep up with the mail (you laugh, but have you ever seen the inside of a self employed photographer's mailbox?), and maybe even clean out the XYZ (insert pretty much anything as it's been AGES since we've cleaned out... anything). So far my accomplishments include:

*Both children are fed and dressed by 8:15AM
*Both children are in their PJ's and read to by 9:00PM (don't let this fool you, there's plenty more fun to be had with Ms Sleeps When She Wants To during our nightly afterparties)

Not bad if you ask me. Those other things on that other list will still be there tomorrow...

Just Kidding

2010-07-21T09:12:00.002-04:00

I should have known better. Publicly admitting to making progress is just asking, no, screaming for that very progress to come to a screeching halt, no, actually go in reverse. I haven't backtracked completely to corner #2, thankfully I am still on my way to corner #3 and making somewhat forward progress. It just looks a bit more like a zig-zag at the moment with lots of breaks. Lots.

But.

That real me I referred to in that last post? Still somewhere out there, just not completely reattached as of yet. It was fun to have a moment of confidence though. To actually see what's going on around me and ponder and reflect rather than the reactive state my mind has been locked in to for the last 4 1/2 weeks that's gotten amazingly accurate at catching newborn projectile body fluids in mid air. Not exactly great mental prep for digesting the entirety of the Sunday NY Times.

Anyhow.

The point is that a corner was indeed rounded, but I've a long way to go before closing the perimeter.

New goals for the week:

#1: Place more online orders for adult mystery novels and political nonfiction books than online orders at Diapers.com.
#2: Actually read one of the adult mystery novels or political nonfiction books instead of scouring the Internet for answers to questions about sibling jealousy, adoption attachment specific to major life events (bringing home baby sister), "normal" newborn eating/pooping behaviors, and infant developmental milestone timelines.
#3: Leave the house alone, at least once, for at least an hour.

That should set me on a pretty decent course to make progress towards corner #3. There I go again making public comment about potential progress-making...I'm so screwed.

Corner #2

2010-07-20T14:29:00.003-04:00

We turned corner #1 the day we came home from the hospital (which seems like ages ago at this point), and this week I can confidently say that corner #2 is done and dusted. The real question, of course, is exactly which geometric figure we're working on navigating and how many corners it has. My best guess is that we're looking at a Myriagon (10,000 sided polygon) but only time will tell.

So, more about corner #2:

This week I finally began feeling like my real self again. The kind of person who can wake up, take a shower (1 child wheeled into the bathroom in the bassinet and 1 child staring mindlessly into the world of The Little Einsteins in the next room), get everyone dressed, drop child #1 off at school while nearly simultaneously feeding child #2 (if it weren't for car seat regulations I'd invest time in figuring out a way to feed while driving...), stop for coffee, run to the store for items A, B, and C that we seem to be running out of daily, and return home for child #2's next feeding to be completed mere moments before it's time to go pickup child #1 from school. All while singing a tune in the shower, enjoying the songs on the radio, and having the most brilliant conversation in the car about turtles and airplanes that you've ever heard ever.

Compare this with a week ago when toothpaste was accidentally applied as shampoo and I nearly drove off the road when attempting to both breath and make a left turn all at the same time and well, you'll start to understand what I mean when I say I'm now feeling like my real person. You know, one that can play hide-and-go-seek with one child and breastfeed the other while making phone calls for dinner reservations and booking holiday travel plans online.

Corner #2, it was nice to meet you. Onward and forward.

Haircut #2

2010-07-15T01:00:00.004-04:00

Before

After

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-14T01:00:00.000-04:00

3 Weeks Later

2010-07-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

I must admit that 3 weeks ago had you told me this picture would be reality 3 weeks later I would have cheers'd to your unmistakable case of the crazies. Yet here we are, 3 weeks later and it's July 2010 and we grew by +1 LAST MONTH and LAST MONTH we became a family of 4 and it's summer 2010 and we have an 18 day old daughter and it happened LAST MONTH. My grasp on reality is quite obviously having a bit of a challenge keeping up with the events of LAST MONTH. None of this was supposed to happen until August yet June came along and decided to kick August's ass, and quite frankly did one hell of a job. So, please forgive me if I seem to regard the above picture as more of a projection than reflection, my mind doesn't seem to take to being catapulted into the future quite as well as my uterus.

So, where are we now that it's 3 weeks later?

Ash is an amazing older brother. He is (understandably) attention seeking and is (understandably) pushing every limit he can wrap his willful little hands around. He also asks to kiss his baby sister at least twice an hour and continues to amaze us with new talents every single day like memorizing the words to new songs after hearing them only once, swimming on his own in the pool at school, and hosting the most incredible imaginary play sessions.

Leni is an amazing little sister. She is (understandably) working on things like digestion and (understandably) prefers to eat every 1 1/2 to 3 hours. She also fixates more on her big brother than any other person and continues to amaze us with new bits of her powerful personality that are constantly popping through her gentile exterior.

We are making it as parents. We (understandably) continue to question absolutely everything we do and (understandably) have managed to neglect absolutely everything else from the cats to the laundry to those poor plants that haven't been watered in, well, about 3 weeks. We also love our kids more than ever thought possible and continue to be amazed by how life really does seem to just keep getting better.

I know, I know, growing a family isn't anything new and zillions of people have done it before us and this just isn't all that exciting to the rest of the world. But it is to us. Crazy ridiculously enormously exciting. And exhausting. And extraordinary. Except for the part where we have to keep track of the baby's pooping/peeing frequency. That part is a bit stressful and kind of sucks. Oh, and the part where the toddler needs to be reminded for the one hundred thousandth time not to launch one of his one million Lightning McQueen cars off of his homemade mega-jump in the direction of his sister. That part kind of sucks too. Oh yeah, and that one morning when we ran out of coffee after having been awake on the hour every hour from midnight to 5AM, and then up permanently at 6:15AM. That one sucked A LOT. But then we went to the grocery store and bought a lifetime supply of coffee beans to make sure it never happens again and low and behold life returned to being pretty much awesome. Until Lightning McQueen came flying across the room and landed in my coffee. Awesome minus one, still pretty good.

Her Hyper Side

2010-07-08T21:56:00.001-04:00

Transitions

2010-07-06T22:29:00.002-04:00

This post deserves so much more than I'm about to write and hit Publish on. C'est la vie. The last 2+ weeks for Ashton have included mommy being in the hospital for 1 week then showing up with his baby sister in tow shortly thereafter, plus daddy going on back-to-back multi-day work trips, plus starting a new school, plus a handful of other smaller yet significant when lumped together bits and pieces. And he's handled it all with an amazing style that only he could manage to pull off. We're so proud of him. Sure, he's had his moments. But he's only asked to put his sister in the garbage can once and the rest of the time asks if he can kiss her which is followed by the most adorable smooch on the forehead from a brother to his sister that you've ever seen EVER. So cute in fact that each time it happens I'm rendered completely useless by the cuteness of it all so have yet to catch the moment on camera.

Have there been time outs? Lots. But they're getting fewer and farther in between. Does parenting 2 children require 8 sets of arms and 5 sets of eyes and quantities of patience only known to Saints? Indeed. But Ashton's grandmas have been here and made it feel like all of those extra arms and eyes and buckets of patience have been ready and waiting.

Like I said, the title "transitions" deserves quite a bit more than this and I'm sure there will be detailed parts 2, 3, and maybe even 4. But for now the bottom line is this: Ash is kicking arse at being a big brother and Leni has mastered being a 2 week old eating and projectile pooping machine. And given all of the events of the last 2+ weeks, that's a pretty dang good bottom line.