If you search the word "preggers" on Wikipedia you'll be automatically redirected to the definition for pregnancy. However, if instead of going directly to Wikipedia you opt to first Google "preggers" you're given the option to continue on to Urban Dictionary where much more interesting definitions await. The possible definitions range from "a slang word for pregnant" to "a term used by both Upper and Lower class British Citizens while talking to friends to claim that their life long partner is pregnant." There are slightly less than positive definitions as well, but when you're searching a database titled "Urban Definitions" I suppose that's to be expected.
When women are pregnant they cautiously await the third month of pregnancy when the chances of miscarriage decrease significantly. It is then when they begin talking, planning, sharing, and becoming openly excited about their life changing event - and are officially, preggers. Not that they weren't excited during the first three months (I imagine anyone looking back at their friend's first months of pregnancy would attest to the fact that a beaming glow became present despite the news not yet having been made public) but there is something about being in the IT'S NOW PUBLIC phase that makes everything that much more real. They're preggers, and it's public.
For adoptive families there isn't a defined time when we "should" go public with news of our adoption. Month #3 could be when an application is received or could be when an application is filed or could be when nothing is happening at all because one of the many processes are, well, in process. The term "paper pregnancy" is often used to define an adoption, so when are adoptive families officially "paper preggers"?
While still mindfull of potential obsticles we are now considering ourselves to be paper preggers. The paper chase is over. We're now only awaiting approval from CIS and mere days after that is received our dossier will be sent to Ethiopia when our long awaited child will be officially matched - to us. We had better begin preparing the baby's room, we're paper preggers!
October 20, 2007
October 18, 2007
The First "All Clear"
This week has been extremely exciting! On Monday we submitted our application to CIS and their approval is the last document we need for our dossier to be complete. While we wait our adoption agency, CHI, requested that we fax them copies of our dossier documents just to make sure that everything is in line and set for when the CIS approval arrives. They gave us the "ALL CLEAR!" today! So far this week we've received two fantastic confirmations:
- Our application arrived to CIS on Tuesday morning at 7AM and is now being processed (hopefully we'll receive approval in 4-6 weeks)
- CHI received copies of our dossier documents and confirmed that they are now officially correct and complete! (less the CIS approval which is on it's way)
My entirely optimistic side tells me we'll be traveling to be united with Baby Bean in 4 months. My more realistic side keeps reminding me it will be more like 6-8 months... In any case we're ecstatic!
- Our application arrived to CIS on Tuesday morning at 7AM and is now being processed (hopefully we'll receive approval in 4-6 weeks)
- CHI received copies of our dossier documents and confirmed that they are now officially correct and complete! (less the CIS approval which is on it's way)
My entirely optimistic side tells me we'll be traveling to be united with Baby Bean in 4 months. My more realistic side keeps reminding me it will be more like 6-8 months... In any case we're ecstatic!
October 15, 2007
Just Happy
We're finally in the next phase and are one step closer to the "waiting for a referral" stage. Happiness is.
One Step Closer
Sweet sweet entrance to the next step...
Today we picked up three notarized copies of our home study from CHI and sent in the I-600A application to USCIS. We’ve been told that it will take anywhere from 4 to 6 weeks for USCIS to send us the approval form, I-171H, which will then complete our dossier. The optimist in me says we’ll receive the I-171H in mid-November, state certify everything before Thanksgiving, and mail everything to CHI by December 1st. Based on this timeline our dossier could realistically be in Ethiopia by Christmas and a referral could be received as early as February! That’s the optimist. The slightly slower and somewhat more realistic (have patience) timeline has the I-171H to us mid-December which pushes everything back about a month meaning March would be the earliest realistic time to receive our referral. We prefer to be optimists.
In addition to officially entering the next stage in our journey, today we learned a very important lesson: Grandmothers are very excited when a new grandchild is on the way so any and all email updates must be VERY carefully worded… The moment we put our USCIS application in the mail we sent our mothers an email heavy with international adoption lingo to share the great news. I wrote that we could realistically have our state certified dossier to CHI by early December so that it could travel to Ethiopia by Christmas. This in itself is a very exciting and seemingly harmless update, however if you interpret “it could travel to Ethiopia by Christmas” as “we could travel to Ethiopia by Christmas” you can imagine the confusion that would ensue. Within moments I received two emails, one voicemail, and a text message (from my younger sister who didn’t even receive the original email but who my mom knows could text me and receive an instant response) inquiring if we were actually going to be picking up our child by this Christmas. We may have caused several minor heart attacks prior to clarifying that we were referring to the dossier traveling to Ethiopia in December, not us, (although how fantastic would that be!) but it was kind of fun to hear, read, and see the excitement created by a mere inference that we would be picking up Baby Bean by Christmas. Now that would be a Christmas gift!
The funny thing is that although our lovely mothers misunderstood the specifics of the timeline, in reality it could be just a month or two later. Traveling by Christmas would be a miracle, but traveling by Valentines Day is definitely within the realm of possibility. We were going to wait until our paper pregnancy was in the official “waiting for a referral” stage before beginning to plan the baby’s room but now that we’re just 4-8 weeks out of that stage we’re starting to reconsider. Might be kind of fun to go baby shopping this week.
Oh, and the Vikings beat Chicago yesterday so perhaps the first item on the shopping list should be something purple.
Today we picked up three notarized copies of our home study from CHI and sent in the I-600A application to USCIS. We’ve been told that it will take anywhere from 4 to 6 weeks for USCIS to send us the approval form, I-171H, which will then complete our dossier. The optimist in me says we’ll receive the I-171H in mid-November, state certify everything before Thanksgiving, and mail everything to CHI by December 1st. Based on this timeline our dossier could realistically be in Ethiopia by Christmas and a referral could be received as early as February! That’s the optimist. The slightly slower and somewhat more realistic (have patience) timeline has the I-171H to us mid-December which pushes everything back about a month meaning March would be the earliest realistic time to receive our referral. We prefer to be optimists.
In addition to officially entering the next stage in our journey, today we learned a very important lesson: Grandmothers are very excited when a new grandchild is on the way so any and all email updates must be VERY carefully worded… The moment we put our USCIS application in the mail we sent our mothers an email heavy with international adoption lingo to share the great news. I wrote that we could realistically have our state certified dossier to CHI by early December so that it could travel to Ethiopia by Christmas. This in itself is a very exciting and seemingly harmless update, however if you interpret “it could travel to Ethiopia by Christmas” as “we could travel to Ethiopia by Christmas” you can imagine the confusion that would ensue. Within moments I received two emails, one voicemail, and a text message (from my younger sister who didn’t even receive the original email but who my mom knows could text me and receive an instant response) inquiring if we were actually going to be picking up our child by this Christmas. We may have caused several minor heart attacks prior to clarifying that we were referring to the dossier traveling to Ethiopia in December, not us, (although how fantastic would that be!) but it was kind of fun to hear, read, and see the excitement created by a mere inference that we would be picking up Baby Bean by Christmas. Now that would be a Christmas gift!
The funny thing is that although our lovely mothers misunderstood the specifics of the timeline, in reality it could be just a month or two later. Traveling by Christmas would be a miracle, but traveling by Valentines Day is definitely within the realm of possibility. We were going to wait until our paper pregnancy was in the official “waiting for a referral” stage before beginning to plan the baby’s room but now that we’re just 4-8 weeks out of that stage we’re starting to reconsider. Might be kind of fun to go baby shopping this week.
Oh, and the Vikings beat Chicago yesterday so perhaps the first item on the shopping list should be something purple.
October 4, 2007
Teff
I found this recipe on Recipe Zaar which uses teff as the main ingredient for injera. The cookbook that I have has multiple injera recipes and suggests alternatives to teff such as wheat flour or rice flour if the chef doesn't have access to teff. I would much rather prepare injera the traditional way using teff but I have yet to see where I might be able to buy it - although I would be amazed if I didn't find an entire block of grocery stores somewhere in NYC that carried not only teff, but many other ingredients specific to Ethiopian cuisine as well. Now that I think of it we'll probably be able to be discerning as to where we purchase our teff... I do love NYC.What is teff? According to the Exploratorium's "The Science of Cooking" area teff is "a tiny, round grain that flourishes in the highlands of Ethiopia. While teff is very nutritious, it contains practically no gluten. This makes teff ill-suited for making raised bread, however injera still takes advantage of the special properties of yeast. A short period of fermentation gives it an airy, bubbly texture, and also a slightly sour taste."
As I mentioned in an earlier post injera serves as an edible utensil for Ethiopian cuisine. One large circular piece of injera is placed on the serving tray and then the various entrees are placed in scoops on top of the injera. An additional basket of injera is served on the side so that diners can break it apart and scoop up their entree of choice. The meal is officially finished when the piece of injera that was placed on top of the serving plate is gone. This is often the most tasty of the injera served during a meal because it has had a chance to soak up all of the flavors of the entrees throughout the meal and is the last to be enjoyed.
October 3, 2007
Have Patience
My husband and I are very proactive people, so when we researched the international adoption process and it listed 3-6 months as the typical paperwork gathering period we assumed we would be in the 3 month group. We're now in month #3 and have yet to send in the CIS paperwork for our I-600A form. The process all makes sense, the time periods all seem correct, but I just wish our dossier would be scheduled to arrive in Ethiopia this month, but that doesn't look at all possible right now. We're waiting for the final home study document from CHI so that we can send it to CIS, and then once CIS comes through with an approval (6-8 weeks) everything can be sent to the US Secretary of State and then finally off to Ethiopia. It seems like an eternity.
"Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry. When you are impatient, you only start to worry. Remember, remember, that God is patient too, and think of all the times that others have to wait for you!"
My mom rocks. She is The Queen of shower songs, morning songs, and THE patience song.
"Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry. When you are impatient, you only start to worry. Remember, remember, that God is patient too, and think of all the times that others have to wait for you!"
My mom rocks. She is The Queen of shower songs, morning songs, and THE patience song.
October 1, 2007
Weekend With Family
We returned to NYC this morning after a fantastic four days with our family in Minnesota. It was so wonderful, in fact, that both of us spent several serious moments this morning contemplating reasons to stay for another day or two that wouldn't conflict with work. Unfortunately duty called and our weekend had to come to an end bright and early Monday morning with our MSP to JFK flight.
This was the first time that both Mike and I were in MN at the same time since we began the adoption process so as you can imagine there was much to discuss. The questions ranged from "We were hoping you would arrive with your child this weekend!" to "What names are you considering?" to "What is a dossier?" Of course we would have loved to have been able to reply to comment #1 with a solid "We did, he/she is right here!" but alas the reality of the adoption process is that of patience and waiting. As for the other questions, answering them out loud to family for the first time only lengthened the discussion and brought on other questions! It's amazing how different the most logical thoughts sound when you're saying them out loud to your mother instead of just thinking about them quietly to yourself.
Specific things that came up had to do with the color/design scheme of Baby Bean's room, his/her name, where we're at in the adoption process, and finally general Ethiopia related questions having to do with history and geography. In general our responses were as follows:
1) We have an amazing crib thanks to an amazing community of artists always willing to exchange one art form for another. In this case this meant amazing portraits of a father and his children in exchange for a crib custom designed by the father.
2) We like Lyric, Hattie, William, and Wylie.
3) We just finished the home study and will be sending in our form I-600A to CIS this week. Once we receive this approval (6-8 weeks) we will be in the final certification stage and then onto sending our dossier to Ethiopia. The current wait time for a referral at that point is 3-9 months.
4) Ethiopia is an amazing country rich with history and culture and there are so many books that detail the trials and successes of both Ethiopia the country as well as Africa the continent. Google Ethiopia - I promise you'll come up with something interesting!
I'll end on a quick summary of our mini-vacation in MN with family this past weekend. We started by having dinner with the moms (my husband and I are fortunate to have mothers who have developed a strong friendship) and enjoyed a night out with just the four of us. This was followed by breakfast with our child's Godmother, Phoenix, who sheds amazing amounts of enthusiasm, hope, knowledge, and love on the adoption process. I then took off for a ride with my dad on his Harley, simply put - priceless. The weekend continued with multiple family meals and gatherings and was topped off with tickets to the Vikings vs Packers game where my sisters and I, our husbands, and my dad, witnessed Favre history. It actually did hurt a little to type that, I'm a tried and true Vikings fan. Nothing can top an afternoon with dad and his two favorite teams battling it out on the field though, even if my team did lose. Baby Bean will eventually have to select an NFL team to support and I'll support little Bean no matter what - as long as he/she is a Vikings fan.
This was the first time that both Mike and I were in MN at the same time since we began the adoption process so as you can imagine there was much to discuss. The questions ranged from "We were hoping you would arrive with your child this weekend!" to "What names are you considering?" to "What is a dossier?" Of course we would have loved to have been able to reply to comment #1 with a solid "We did, he/she is right here!" but alas the reality of the adoption process is that of patience and waiting. As for the other questions, answering them out loud to family for the first time only lengthened the discussion and brought on other questions! It's amazing how different the most logical thoughts sound when you're saying them out loud to your mother instead of just thinking about them quietly to yourself.
Specific things that came up had to do with the color/design scheme of Baby Bean's room, his/her name, where we're at in the adoption process, and finally general Ethiopia related questions having to do with history and geography. In general our responses were as follows:
1) We have an amazing crib thanks to an amazing community of artists always willing to exchange one art form for another. In this case this meant amazing portraits of a father and his children in exchange for a crib custom designed by the father.
2) We like Lyric, Hattie, William, and Wylie.
3) We just finished the home study and will be sending in our form I-600A to CIS this week. Once we receive this approval (6-8 weeks) we will be in the final certification stage and then onto sending our dossier to Ethiopia. The current wait time for a referral at that point is 3-9 months.
4) Ethiopia is an amazing country rich with history and culture and there are so many books that detail the trials and successes of both Ethiopia the country as well as Africa the continent. Google Ethiopia - I promise you'll come up with something interesting!
I'll end on a quick summary of our mini-vacation in MN with family this past weekend. We started by having dinner with the moms (my husband and I are fortunate to have mothers who have developed a strong friendship) and enjoyed a night out with just the four of us. This was followed by breakfast with our child's Godmother, Phoenix, who sheds amazing amounts of enthusiasm, hope, knowledge, and love on the adoption process. I then took off for a ride with my dad on his Harley, simply put - priceless. The weekend continued with multiple family meals and gatherings and was topped off with tickets to the Vikings vs Packers game where my sisters and I, our husbands, and my dad, witnessed Favre history. It actually did hurt a little to type that, I'm a tried and true Vikings fan. Nothing can top an afternoon with dad and his two favorite teams battling it out on the field though, even if my team did lose. Baby Bean will eventually have to select an NFL team to support and I'll support little Bean no matter what - as long as he/she is a Vikings fan.
September 30, 2007
Clearance Received!
We're in MN with family this weekend but the highlight of the last few days has definitely been the email/call from our social worker to confirm that our clearances have been received and our home study is now complete! We're very anxious to complete the I-600A and send it off to CIS now that our home study document is ready. Another box to check off!
There have been several other conversations/developements of interest this weekend which we'll comment on later this week - but nothing can top officially being in the next stage!
There have been several other conversations/developements of interest this weekend which we'll comment on later this week - but nothing can top officially being in the next stage!
September 25, 2007
Waiting on Clearance
The next step in the adoption process is to send our application for the I-600A to CIS, however this cannot happen until our home study is complete. The only thing holding up our official home study document is our FBI clearances, which we're patiently waiting for. As soon as our social worker receives these clearances our home study will officially be complete and we can send everything in for CIS approval, which is one of the last steps before sending everything off to Ethiopia. This is the first time that we've both felt as though everything is "in place" yet we're unable to move forward due to waiting on approval/clearance from another agency. We really hope that these clearances are received soon so that our CIS application can be on it's way and approval right around the corner. Cross your fingers!
September 23, 2007
Fork, Spoon, Chopsticks, and Injera
My husband and I have traveled extensively so have had the honor of partaking in many different ethnic cuisines. Even in the beginning of our relationship we took notice of the mothers who would bring their children to sushi restaurants to teach them the basics of chopsticks and the families in the Turkish restaurants who modeled the art of the bread-to-entree technique. I think that one of the things we're most looking forward to is exposing our child to the plethora of ethic cuisines available and the many different and interesting ways to eat these cuisines.
Injera
We are so excited to begin cooking Ethiopian food. We purchased an Ethiopian cookbook online from someone with the screen name "church lady" and it's fantastic. Although we've eaten at quite a few Ethiopian restaurants we've never been a part of the preparation or involved in the ingredients-gathering stage. I was very happy to read that the majority of the recipes are simple roasts that include a protein (chicken, beef, or lamb) and an assortment of the following:
- onions (specifically noted in many recipes as fried without grease)
- red peppers
- butter
- cardamom
- black pepper
- garlic
- ginger
- salt
- red wine (or t'ej)
- water
- eggs/lime
And of course, injera. injera is the traditional bread eaten with Ethiopian cuisine and also serves as the utensil for the meal. Injera is broken into pieces and used to scoop up the various meat roasts, vegetable entrees, and bean dishes. Traditionally there are multiple spreads served on top of a plate of injera with several rolls of injera served in a separate basket on the side. You can then tear pieces of injera from the rolls and scoop up bites of the spreads. It's very family style and very fantastic.
We're in the beginning stages of preparing several recipes from our new cookbook, and mastering injera feels like the appropriate place to start. The only problem is that there is barley injera, corn injera, rice injera, and many other forms of injera. My gut tells me that we'll be fondest of rice injera (we usually cook with rice pasta) but really am not sure. I suppose we'll start with the rice-based recipe and see how it goes. We're visiting MN next weekend (taking dad to THE Vikings Packers game) and would love to prepare an Ethiopian meal and want to make sure that we're able to prepare injera before hand, so I suppose we'll be practicing that tonight and tomorrow just to make sure.
- onions (specifically noted in many recipes as fried without grease)
- red peppers
- butter
- cardamom
- black pepper
- garlic
- ginger
- salt
- red wine (or t'ej)
- water
- eggs/lime
And of course, injera. injera is the traditional bread eaten with Ethiopian cuisine and also serves as the utensil for the meal. Injera is broken into pieces and used to scoop up the various meat roasts, vegetable entrees, and bean dishes. Traditionally there are multiple spreads served on top of a plate of injera with several rolls of injera served in a separate basket on the side. You can then tear pieces of injera from the rolls and scoop up bites of the spreads. It's very family style and very fantastic.
We're in the beginning stages of preparing several recipes from our new cookbook, and mastering injera feels like the appropriate place to start. The only problem is that there is barley injera, corn injera, rice injera, and many other forms of injera. My gut tells me that we'll be fondest of rice injera (we usually cook with rice pasta) but really am not sure. I suppose we'll start with the rice-based recipe and see how it goes. We're visiting MN next weekend (taking dad to THE Vikings Packers game) and would love to prepare an Ethiopian meal and want to make sure that we're able to prepare injera before hand, so I suppose we'll be practicing that tonight and tomorrow just to make sure.
September 22, 2007
Family, Proximity, And
An ongoing conversation that we have is that of living thousands of miles away from the majority of our family. Both my husband and I have embraced the tradition of inviting others into our home for dinners, celebrations, etc... however there is just something special about being able to invite family over every now and then. We love having company, and do so fairly frequently, however company is inherently friends and not necessarily family. We do have an aunt/uncle/cousin who live nearby in PA but the majority of our family lives in the Midwest. The ability to call mom, grandma, aunt, or sister over for a random coffee chat or meal mid-week is something I think most take for granted and don't realize how special this ability truly is.
This weekend my aunt and uncle, retired educators, stopped by for a couple of nights on their tour of the northeast. It has been nothing less than fantastic to have family around for the weekend. It's even better that this part of the family tends to swing towards our end of the political pendulum making for quite interesting political conversation at the dinner table. It's also nice to know that I'm not the only Wienke to have a tendency towards sarcasm. (Go caramel)
One thing that I will take away from this weekend is that the family connection is not something that is met purely through constant interaction with each other, but that it's carried on through our traits as well. My uncle reminds me so much of my grandmother, and sitting around the dinner table talking about "things" brought back so many memories of my grandmother and grandfather that simply put, nobody else could have possible rendered. My grandfather was the type to take me on an imaginary hop-scotch tour to McDonald's for an ice cream cone, where my grandmother made sure the last pea on my plate was finished before allowing any form of moving on from dinner for the evening. They were lovely people, and an absolutely amazing couple, but I certainly remember specific traits that made them "them" and having my uncle to visit this weekend reminded me of many of those. It's fun to have that.
I often wonder how we will create moments like these for our child. We definitely plan on visiting Ethiopia with our child, however the inherent "your face looks like grandma's" and "that's an expression grandpa would make!" are things that will have different meanings for our child. The family connection is so important, and making this connection is going to introduce challenges. I know that these are challenges that will be met and overcome. Every family has their challenges, distance often being one of them. Thank goodness for Internet, airports, and caramels.
This weekend my aunt and uncle, retired educators, stopped by for a couple of nights on their tour of the northeast. It has been nothing less than fantastic to have family around for the weekend. It's even better that this part of the family tends to swing towards our end of the political pendulum making for quite interesting political conversation at the dinner table. It's also nice to know that I'm not the only Wienke to have a tendency towards sarcasm. (Go caramel)
One thing that I will take away from this weekend is that the family connection is not something that is met purely through constant interaction with each other, but that it's carried on through our traits as well. My uncle reminds me so much of my grandmother, and sitting around the dinner table talking about "things" brought back so many memories of my grandmother and grandfather that simply put, nobody else could have possible rendered. My grandfather was the type to take me on an imaginary hop-scotch tour to McDonald's for an ice cream cone, where my grandmother made sure the last pea on my plate was finished before allowing any form of moving on from dinner for the evening. They were lovely people, and an absolutely amazing couple, but I certainly remember specific traits that made them "them" and having my uncle to visit this weekend reminded me of many of those. It's fun to have that.
I often wonder how we will create moments like these for our child. We definitely plan on visiting Ethiopia with our child, however the inherent "your face looks like grandma's" and "that's an expression grandpa would make!" are things that will have different meanings for our child. The family connection is so important, and making this connection is going to introduce challenges. I know that these are challenges that will be met and overcome. Every family has their challenges, distance often being one of them. Thank goodness for Internet, airports, and caramels.
September 20, 2007
Daycare, Au Pair, Nanny, Oh My!
This may seem like we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves seeing as our dossier isn't even in Ethiopia yet and we're researching childcare options, but to be honest this is one of those topics that deserves quite a bit of thought so we're ok with it. The fact is that we both work full time, and although we work in flexible industries that support remote employment the reality is that we are going to need childcare in some form or another. Here are the options that have surfaced so far:
- Au Pair: Wow, so as long as we have space to provide room and board to a European 18-20'something and $150/week we're guaranteed 45 hours a week of dedicated childcare. European influence, supporting international living/experiences...seems to flow off the tongue nicely!
- Sister: I have a younger sister (3 years younger) who may or may not benefit from a move out east. She would fit in fantastically in New York or New Paltz, but would be giving up quite a bit by leaving her hometown in MN. It feels like if everything fell into place in just the right way that this could be the best situation ever, but at the same time things would need to fall into place perfectly for this to happen.
- Babysitter: We live in one of the top 50 hottest college towns according to Newsweek Magazine. Doesn't that scream a pool of potential babysitters?
We just don't know. I think the right solution will surface over the next several months, but weighing the benefits between a full time Au Pair vs those of a local babysitter vs those of a sister is just a huge amount to consider. Each really does deserve it's own post come to think of it.
That said, we're still waiting for our social worker to receive our FBI clearances so that we can send in our immigration application to USCIS and finally send everything off to Ethiopia. This is the first time we've had to wait for an extended period of time for someone else to complete their responsibilities in this process and I must say it's not fun. Hopefully the next week will bring more solid updates!
- Au Pair: Wow, so as long as we have space to provide room and board to a European 18-20'something and $150/week we're guaranteed 45 hours a week of dedicated childcare. European influence, supporting international living/experiences...seems to flow off the tongue nicely!
- Sister: I have a younger sister (3 years younger) who may or may not benefit from a move out east. She would fit in fantastically in New York or New Paltz, but would be giving up quite a bit by leaving her hometown in MN. It feels like if everything fell into place in just the right way that this could be the best situation ever, but at the same time things would need to fall into place perfectly for this to happen.
- Babysitter: We live in one of the top 50 hottest college towns according to Newsweek Magazine. Doesn't that scream a pool of potential babysitters?
We just don't know. I think the right solution will surface over the next several months, but weighing the benefits between a full time Au Pair vs those of a local babysitter vs those of a sister is just a huge amount to consider. Each really does deserve it's own post come to think of it.
That said, we're still waiting for our social worker to receive our FBI clearances so that we can send in our immigration application to USCIS and finally send everything off to Ethiopia. This is the first time we've had to wait for an extended period of time for someone else to complete their responsibilities in this process and I must say it's not fun. Hopefully the next week will bring more solid updates!
September 18, 2007
Meskel
We had dinner at Meskel this evening. It's located on a quiet corner near East 4th St. and Avenue B and appears to be run by one front-of-the-house server and one or two chefs in the kitchen. Meskel bills itself as "home cooking" and the reviews, for the most part, rave about the fabulous flavors. The only negative reviews come from restaurant goers who complain about the service, but I think those complaining about the service might also be the type who ask for silverware in an Ethiopian restaurant or insist on cutting their sushi with a knife and fork. Eating with your hands sans silverware is actually quite a liberating experience. Despite the stress of the day both of us radiated a sort of, "who cares if I lick the remnants of the delicious spicy lentils off of my fingers and soon after reach for more injera and cabbage?" kind of attitude. It was lovely. Meskel was a bit pricey for the portions but the server was absolutely lovely and the atmosphere fantastic so I'm sure we'll be back.
One new topic that came from this evening's dinner conversation was that of world music. The tunes being played at Meskel were great and we can't wait to learn more about the artists. Another new topic that came from this evening's dinner conversation is that neither of us knows how to pronounce Ethiopian food correctly. I simply must learn Amharic.
One new topic that came from this evening's dinner conversation was that of world music. The tunes being played at Meskel were great and we can't wait to learn more about the artists. Another new topic that came from this evening's dinner conversation is that neither of us knows how to pronounce Ethiopian food correctly. I simply must learn Amharic.
September 17, 2007
Clarification, And Then More Clarification
One process that we've come to know well throughout this whole process is that of clarification. CHI is fantastic at providing lists, timelines, instructions, etc... and we find ourselves double and triple checking them all the time. Even then we've needed additional clarification which we've sought through our adoption consultant at the agency. She always politely answers our questions and doesn't even mention the fact that the answers were all staring us right in the face on page 17 of the dossier workbook. She's fantastic.
Today's point of clarification had to do with fingerprinting. When we were first accepted into the Ethiopia program one of our first to-do's was to visit our local police precinct and have them write and notarize a letter stating that our criminal history was clear of any serious infractions. Of course this type of background check will be done several times by several different layers of city, state, and US governments agencies by the time our dossier is complete, but this was the first. We also had to be fingerprinted which I think the agency used as a part of our FBI clearance but I'm not entirely clear on that one. All we knew (and cared about) was that it had to be done prior to having a social worker assigned, so we just did it. The clarification became necessary when we learned that we will need to be fingerprinted again once we send in our I-600A form to the USCIS for immigration approval. Do we really need to be fingerprinted twice? Yup. We hope the second time around is as interesting as the first...
Our first experience being fingerprinted in New Paltz took place on a calm weekday evening. Seemed simple enough, just go to our local police precinct and give them our finger print cards and 5 minutes later we'd be on our way. Evidently the NPPD frowns on fingerprinting walk-ins so we patiently waited in the small entryway while the evening troops wrapped up their shift meeting. While waiting we were able to brush up on our gang symbols and ways to prevent forest fires at the same time via various posters hanging on the wall. In a town of outdoor enthusiast hippie-types we had to laugh at the dicotomy of the two subject matters. When they were ready for us they called us in one at a time and I went first. One of the officers in the room informed me that he and his wife just completed their home study for their adoption from Guatemala! We chat a bit about the process, our agencies, and then an officer asked me to remove my wedding ring for the fingerprinting. I did what any other person would do, right?
Me: "Slurp"
Officer: "Did you just do what I think you did?"
Me: "Sorry Sir, my wedding ring is really hard to remove."
Officer: "Did you honestly just lick your finger right before I have to take your fingerprints?"
Me: (sheepish grin) "I'm sorry, do you have some soap? Remind me to warn my husband when it's his turn please..."
The officer took my fingerprints and I wished the officer who is also in the adoption process best of luck. I returned to the lobby. Now it's my husbands turn:
Officer: "Please remove your..."
Mike: (before the officer has a chance to finish his sentence and is still facing the wall) "Slurp"
Officer: "You didn't! In 20 years of fingerprinting I've never had one person lick their finger to remove their wedding ring let along BOTH the husband AND the wife!"
Room: Laughter breaks out
Me: I smile from the other side of the door, knowing exactly what just happened. Hard to argue what a good match we make!
Next time we'll bring lotion and remove our rings prior to being called in to the fingerprinting room. Won't be nearly as much fun though!
Today's point of clarification had to do with fingerprinting. When we were first accepted into the Ethiopia program one of our first to-do's was to visit our local police precinct and have them write and notarize a letter stating that our criminal history was clear of any serious infractions. Of course this type of background check will be done several times by several different layers of city, state, and US governments agencies by the time our dossier is complete, but this was the first. We also had to be fingerprinted which I think the agency used as a part of our FBI clearance but I'm not entirely clear on that one. All we knew (and cared about) was that it had to be done prior to having a social worker assigned, so we just did it. The clarification became necessary when we learned that we will need to be fingerprinted again once we send in our I-600A form to the USCIS for immigration approval. Do we really need to be fingerprinted twice? Yup. We hope the second time around is as interesting as the first...
Our first experience being fingerprinted in New Paltz took place on a calm weekday evening. Seemed simple enough, just go to our local police precinct and give them our finger print cards and 5 minutes later we'd be on our way. Evidently the NPPD frowns on fingerprinting walk-ins so we patiently waited in the small entryway while the evening troops wrapped up their shift meeting. While waiting we were able to brush up on our gang symbols and ways to prevent forest fires at the same time via various posters hanging on the wall. In a town of outdoor enthusiast hippie-types we had to laugh at the dicotomy of the two subject matters. When they were ready for us they called us in one at a time and I went first. One of the officers in the room informed me that he and his wife just completed their home study for their adoption from Guatemala! We chat a bit about the process, our agencies, and then an officer asked me to remove my wedding ring for the fingerprinting. I did what any other person would do, right?
Me: "Slurp"
Officer: "Did you just do what I think you did?"
Me: "Sorry Sir, my wedding ring is really hard to remove."
Officer: "Did you honestly just lick your finger right before I have to take your fingerprints?"
Me: (sheepish grin) "I'm sorry, do you have some soap? Remind me to warn my husband when it's his turn please..."
The officer took my fingerprints and I wished the officer who is also in the adoption process best of luck. I returned to the lobby. Now it's my husbands turn:
Officer: "Please remove your..."
Mike: (before the officer has a chance to finish his sentence and is still facing the wall) "Slurp"
Officer: "You didn't! In 20 years of fingerprinting I've never had one person lick their finger to remove their wedding ring let along BOTH the husband AND the wife!"
Room: Laughter breaks out
Me: I smile from the other side of the door, knowing exactly what just happened. Hard to argue what a good match we make!
Next time we'll bring lotion and remove our rings prior to being called in to the fingerprinting room. Won't be nearly as much fun though!
September 16, 2007
Baby Bean
We're both avid coffee drinkers and as such can't wait to sample the locale beans when we're in Ethiopia picking up our our child, our own Baby Bean. We received word on Friday that our home study document is complete and is just waiting the final FBI clearances that should be on their way shortly. Once they arrive we'll be able to send everything off to USCIS for approval and then it's off to Ethiopia! We would love our dossier to be in Ethiopia by Thanksgiving. Talk about something fabulous to be thankful for!
Baby Bean: The Vikings Fan
We've been doing a lot of reading on raising an Ethiopian child and being a multi-racial family in books such as "I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla" and "Is That Child Yours?" Although extremely important, today we began thinking about the cultural norms/traditions that we were raised with that we plan on sharing with our child. Things that are not at all Ethiopian, things that are so rooted in American tradition that most New Yorkers would never admit to partaking...
Enter American Football!
Both my husband and I were raised as tried-and-true Minnesota Vikings fans. The importance of this didn't really hit home until we moved away from our family in Minnesota and began our life in New York. All of a sudden missing THE Vikings game on Sunday was something that would only happen if one of us was traveling (and even then we would seek out a venue with NFL Sunday Ticket) or some other catastrophic event had happened that prevented us from being within satellite distance from the game. It became our guaranteed weekly connection to our family in the Mid-West. This year we gave my father 6 very coveted tickets to the Vikings vs Packers game and will be traveling to MN to join dad, my sisters, and brother-in-law to go to the game together. My dad tends to root for the Packers as often as the Vikings, but that's one of those topics we've learned not to bring up at the dinner table.
We're so excited to introduce our child to Ethiopian food, traditions, music, politics, history, etc... However, we also can't wait to wake up on the first Sunday morning during football season and dress our child in his/her first Vikings getup. Our child will look great sporting the purple and gold!
Enter American Football!
Both my husband and I were raised as tried-and-true Minnesota Vikings fans. The importance of this didn't really hit home until we moved away from our family in Minnesota and began our life in New York. All of a sudden missing THE Vikings game on Sunday was something that would only happen if one of us was traveling (and even then we would seek out a venue with NFL Sunday Ticket) or some other catastrophic event had happened that prevented us from being within satellite distance from the game. It became our guaranteed weekly connection to our family in the Mid-West. This year we gave my father 6 very coveted tickets to the Vikings vs Packers game and will be traveling to MN to join dad, my sisters, and brother-in-law to go to the game together. My dad tends to root for the Packers as often as the Vikings, but that's one of those topics we've learned not to bring up at the dinner table.
We're so excited to introduce our child to Ethiopian food, traditions, music, politics, history, etc... However, we also can't wait to wake up on the first Sunday morning during football season and dress our child in his/her first Vikings getup. Our child will look great sporting the purple and gold!
September 15, 2007
Ethiopian Food
We recently bought an Ethiopian cookbook (not easy to find - we found ours used from a woman online who calls herself "church lady") and have been visiting Ethiopian restaurants in the city. So far we've been to Awash in the East Village and Meskerem in West Midtown. We prefer Meskerem to Awash as their spreads (the original tapas) were much more flavorful and the injera was quite good. We've been told that Meskel in the East Village is fantastic so we'll be trying there next. One of the benefits of living partially in the city is that not only do we have access to any kind of ethnic cuisine, but there are multiple options within each. It seems like the Upper-Upper West Side (Amsterdam and the 120's) and the East Village are home to most of NYC's Ethiopian restaurants although there are several others scattered around the city as well.
Ethiopian food has always held a special place in our hearts, even before we began the adoption process. I was raised in a fairly conservative home in a family of five where family meals in the dining room were the norm and dinner was always one of seven options: Spaghetti with meat sauce, porcupines (meatballs with rice and tomato sauce), chicken and rice, tacos, beef stroganoff, pizza, or popcorn. My husband on the other hand was an only child and although has always had two consistent father figures in his life it was often just Mike & Mom for dinner. Not that his mother didn't value family dinners in the dining room, but the emphasis was placed more on dining out and experiencing new and different cuisines. So, needless to say when we started dating we both enjoyed each other's family's "dining norms" and he enjoyed large family Sunday dinners at my house while I enjoyed being taken to various ethnic restaurants with his family. One of the first was Ethiopian. Although I enjoyed the tapas-style spreads I immediately equated injera to an edible form of the ace bandage. Perhaps Ethiopian wasn't the best choice for my introduction to African cuisine, but to this day both of us recall that evening almost minute-by-minute as one of our most special. Little did we know why until we began the adoption process this year!
Since that day (now 11 years later) we've tried multiple other Ethiopian restaurants and I've grown to love the tapas style spreads and even enjoy the injera. My taste buds just needed some time to evolve. We have yet to cook a dish out of our Ethiopian cookbook, but that is definitely on the list of to-do's for the next week. They don't look to difficult, mostly onions, tomatoes, cumin, cardamom, ginger, and a protein. We can't wait to have our first try at preparing injara! Anyone out there have a particular recipe that you recommend?
Ethiopian food has always held a special place in our hearts, even before we began the adoption process. I was raised in a fairly conservative home in a family of five where family meals in the dining room were the norm and dinner was always one of seven options: Spaghetti with meat sauce, porcupines (meatballs with rice and tomato sauce), chicken and rice, tacos, beef stroganoff, pizza, or popcorn. My husband on the other hand was an only child and although has always had two consistent father figures in his life it was often just Mike & Mom for dinner. Not that his mother didn't value family dinners in the dining room, but the emphasis was placed more on dining out and experiencing new and different cuisines. So, needless to say when we started dating we both enjoyed each other's family's "dining norms" and he enjoyed large family Sunday dinners at my house while I enjoyed being taken to various ethnic restaurants with his family. One of the first was Ethiopian. Although I enjoyed the tapas-style spreads I immediately equated injera to an edible form of the ace bandage. Perhaps Ethiopian wasn't the best choice for my introduction to African cuisine, but to this day both of us recall that evening almost minute-by-minute as one of our most special. Little did we know why until we began the adoption process this year!
Since that day (now 11 years later) we've tried multiple other Ethiopian restaurants and I've grown to love the tapas style spreads and even enjoy the injera. My taste buds just needed some time to evolve. We have yet to cook a dish out of our Ethiopian cookbook, but that is definitely on the list of to-do's for the next week. They don't look to difficult, mostly onions, tomatoes, cumin, cardamom, ginger, and a protein. We can't wait to have our first try at preparing injara! Anyone out there have a particular recipe that you recommend?
September 14, 2007
Expecting from Ethiopia T-Shirts
I found this blog about a family who recently adopted from Ethiopia. They created these adorable t-shirts that are available for order with a portion of the proceeds going back to the children of Ethiopia.
Check it out!
Check it out!
Our Child Has A Guardian!
Yesterday we made a very important phone call. My sister Julie agreed to be the legal guardian to our first child! She lives in MN near the rest of our family. We're so excited that she is willing to take on this very important role and could not have possibly chosen a better person. She has a similar zest for life, values, and an amazing support network of family and friends. We'll need to create a Will formally stating this decision, and all of a sudden I'm feeling VERY grown up...
Although it is now looking realistic to have our dossier in Ethiopia by November I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. With the exchange of paperwork anything can happen to cause a delay. That said, I really do think our dossier will be on Ethiopian soil by Thanksgiving and am so excited to be officially in the stage where we're just waiting for our referral.
Although it is now looking realistic to have our dossier in Ethiopia by November I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. With the exchange of paperwork anything can happen to cause a delay. That said, I really do think our dossier will be on Ethiopian soil by Thanksgiving and am so excited to be officially in the stage where we're just waiting for our referral.
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