Showing posts with label Babywait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Babywait. Show all posts

April 29, 2008

Baby Earth

OK, I'm going to throw out a guess that the stimulus payments that started being distributed this week don't hold a candle to the amount of economic stimulus brought on by waiting families. After all, is there a better way to pass the time than by perusing the gadzillions of adorable online children's shops? Just when I happen upon what I think to be "the cutest children's shop ever" I turn around and surprise surprise, there's another one! Patience schmatience, waiting sucks so I'm going shopping. I do have to admit once again though, the ticker at the top clocking 2 weeks 3 days looks SO much better than when it clocked 2 weeks 4 days... Just imagine how fabulous 2 weeks 2 days is going to look!

My newest favorite is Baby Earth (environmentally-friendly baby products) where this Musical Toy Box Bench currently has me ducttaping my wallet shut. So cute, so much fun, must be responsible, must be responsible...

March 12, 2008

Grilling Through


*Update below.

There are certain activities in life that comfort each of us and just seem to take the edge off of any stressful or busy events that may be occurring in our lives. For some it's yoga, others shop, and still others may pray, exercise, cry, scream (I found this one useful while teaching middle school math), or rush to the nearest spa for an afternoon treatment. For us the activity is cooking, and more specifically grilling. We tend to grill our way through things and in more cases than not it seems to do the trick. Right now we're grilling our way through a couple of things.

We're grilling through winter and into spring. I realize it's early March and the temperature hasn't reached 40 degrees for months, but tonight we're going to grill our dinner. I don't care that there is still ample snow on the ground and our porch steps are still lethally slick from the last ice storm. Tonight I will arm myself with grill tongs and a special sage & lemon sauce and grill us some chicken for dinner. Spring is a mere 9 days away, I hope we have enough propane...

We're grilling our way through the babywait. I hate complaining about waiting but let's get real, it stinks. We started this process (and even had most of our dossier docs ready) way back when the wait times averaged 0-3 months. So of course when we announced to our family, friends, and colleagues that we were "expecting from Ethiopia" that was the time frame we told them all. So naturally, now more than 3 months since completing our dossier, the frequency of the question "any news yet?" is growing exponentially. I don't mind them asking, in fact sometimes it helps keep my mind on the thought that it might actually happen sometime soon. But still, I kind of feel like I'm in my 9th month of pregnancy but instead of being bombarded with questions about what day in the next 2-3 weeks I'm going to give birth I'm faced with the very real possibility that I might be in my 9th month of pregnancy for another 6-9 months... Deep breath. And another, and another...

OK, we may need some more chicken and a few new recipes to grill our way through these. Any fabulous grilling recipes or ideas you'd be willing to share? Let's think of the comments to this post as "A Griller's Guide to Spring and Babywait" cookbook of sorts. Please share!

*Update
Thank you Amanda and Andrew for sharing your (what sounds to be delicious and will definitely be tried in the near future) grilling recipe!

March 8, 2008

Wait, Work, Wine

Sometimes I wish that the adoption process was the only dominating "thing" happening in our lives, but then I quickly come to my senses and realize that that this is most certainly not the case nor do I really wish it were. Beyond waiting for our babe to come home there are the daily realities of life, work, finance, and thankfully plenty of other events to celebrate and be happy about. Life hasn't, and shouldn't, stop because we're adopting. In fact we're lucky to say that it has only gotten more interesting (and along with that more challenging) on almost a daily basis. We wait, we work, we wine.

Wait: We've always known that we would build our family through international adoption, so I suppose you could say we've been thinking about the process for 12.5 years now. (High school sweethearts, dating and married for forever already - I think most in the NE refer to us as a freak of nature, being under 30 and already married for almost 7 years...) But have been actively pursuing the adoption process since May 2007 which puts us at the 10 month mark now. Then there's the "official" list which we were added to in December 2007 when we finally completed the hoop-jumping process of document preparation, notarization, certification, and authentication and were actually added to a list of waiting families. So interpret it as you may, whether we've been waiting 12 years, 10 months, 3 months, honestly I can't even place meaning on the number anymore. I take a deep breath every morning and pray for safety and love for our family.

Work: Challenges in this area will never cease (nor do I wish them too, as work without challenge would naturally push us to seek other work) but sometimes it would be nice if there were fewer challenges. My husband loves his work, and my work is our health insurance...oh wait, I mean...nope, my work really is just our health insurance... But the bottom line is that my passion lies with education and his with photography and both of us could think of nothing better than busting our humps to pursue the good of those causes for the rest of our lives. Sure there will be interruptions, breaks, maybe even a change in direction here or there - but the end goal for both of us is pretty darn clear. (kind of, to us at least ~ or maybe not...)

Wine: We enjoy sharing the occasional glass of good red wine that actually warrants looking at and enjoying the color and varying shades of red that change almost instantaneously from pour to pour. Other than that we are two completely different people, which for us is part of what makes things work. We can't wait to be the 80 year old couple who have been married for 59 years yet still argue over what seem to be the simplest parts of a marriage. Like the vines of a strong growing vineyard our marriage will learn to weave through the vines toward the sun.

For after all, it's the sun that's coming.

March 4, 2008

3 Months

Today marks 3 months "officially" waiting. Deep breath....

February 20, 2008

Will Travel For Referrals

I was warned before our trip last week that going on vacation tends to bring on referrals, and they were right! We returned home to an announcement from CHI that they had received 8 referrals for the Ethiopia program that were given to 6 very happy families. In the group were 3 boys, 5 girls, and 2 sibling groups of 2. Their ages ranged from 2 months to 7 years. Congratulations to the families!

As a result of this news I feel it only appropriate to offer myself as a freelance referral traveler. I volunteer to go on vacation whenever wait times seem to be lingering on the long side in hopes that another batch will come through upon my return.

Any takers?

February 12, 2008

The Bat Signal

I sent an email to our CHI adoption consultant today just to make sure she has both of our cell numbers, all of our email addresses, etc... just in case our referral arrives while we're in Mexico this week. I had to laugh at her response:

"Don’t worry, when your referral comes in, we will locate you no matter where you are, send out the national guard if we have to, flares, bat signals……but I’ll call your cells first."

I like the bat signal response enough that I think I'll start using it as my response to colleagues at work when they ask me if there are any updates on our adoption. I usually say something along the lines of, "don't worry, when there's an update TRUST ME you'll know!" But I hadn't ever thought of bat signals before!

Less than 34 hours and we'll be on a plane to Mexico City...I feel more relaxed already.

February 4, 2008

Two, Dos, Deux, Due, Zwei, Hulet

English, Spanish, French, Italian, German, Amharic - It's all the number 2.

Two months waiting.

Hulet months waiting.

It could be any day between now and September!

February 1, 2008

TGIF

Our weekly update from CHI arrived today with the following scripture - good note to end the week on:

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day." Habakkuk 2:3

January 25, 2008

Following yesterday's whine I needed a little reminder today that it's important to make sure that every day includes a little laughter. Since we've already established the importance of the "Have Patience" song, I figured it was time for a little Marry Poppins and the "I Love to Laugh" song!

January 24, 2008

Referral Waiting

There are so many pieces to this process that require waiting and being patient, and each new wait tends to be more difficult than the last. First the home study, then the dossier, then the fingerprints, then the I-171H, then the authentication, and well, you get the idea. Before now the waiting was usually for a week or two, maybe a month, but always within the foreseeable future. We knew that the document, form, or whatever it was we were waiting for would eventually arrive. I should have expected that the referral wait would follow the trend and be slightly more difficult then the last waiting stage (US authentication and dossier to Ethiopia) but for some reason I thought that once we finished all of our paperwork and were officially "just waiting" that it would somehow be easier. HA!!!

Apparently I'm not very good at "just waiting". Especially when the wait times are so up in the air right now and could continue to change at a moments notice. Realistically, we could get our referral call in a couple of weeks. But, realistically, we could get our referral call in in a couple of months...or more. We continue to learn new levels of patience and faith daily. We've been learning to cook Ethiopian, taking Amharic lessons, reading scads of books on adoption parenting and Ethiopian culture, and even have the nursery well on it's way to being ready for little Bean. That last part of course is on hold for now until we know the gender since there's only so much decorating you can do in a nursery without knowing if it's going to be for a boy or a girl. So we continue to wait for our referral, patiently.

We've been dreaming about adopting internationally for years, have been actively in the process for 8+ months, and officially on the wait list for almost 8 weeks. But, it all seems like a drop in the bucket when I sit back for a moment and think about how much so many lives are going to change or be affected as a result of all of this waiting.

I think I'm going to officially remove the word "wait" (in all forms) from my vocabulary now... :)

January 21, 2008

Abyssinian Roots

Hillary Clinton visited the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem yesterday, (click here for the article) where she was officially endorsed by highly influential and revered Reverend Calvin Butts. Although I love a good round of political talk and opinion sharing, that is not why I decided to mention this in today's post. The reason I bring this up...

My husband and I moved to NYC 6.5 years ago and the first church we visited was the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem. I have no idea why - not sure if it was the choir, the community, or the fact that it was mentioned in every single NYC guide book, but needless to say it's where we went. And, subsequently stood in a line for over an hour prior to taking our seat for the service. It was extremely powerful, and we went back - several times. The word "Abyssinia" denotes the historical reference to the country of Ethiopia, home of the Habesha people. So now, 6.5 years later, we are waiting for our little Habesha. We always knew that we would grow our family through international adoption but the country specifics weren't certain until early last year. We didn't select the Ethiopia program, it selected us - and the match was perfect.

January 16, 2008

We're IN The Range!

The range I'm referring to is the minimum to average time spent waiting for a referral by CHI families, which currently hovers from around 6 weeks to around 16 weeks. As of yesterday we've been officially waiting for 6 weeks. We're IN the range! Below is a graphic depiction of us in the range as represented by a box and whisker plot. Darned Microsoft Excel wouldn't let me create a proper box and whisker plot so I did my best to draw one myself.

Disclaimer: Seeing as I don't have access to all of the official CHI wait times allowing me to find the actual quartiles for a proper box and whisker plot the graph below is purely a guestimation and in no way represents anything official or stated by CHI. It's just my very optimistic blog-influenced guess. Enjoy!

January 13, 2008

Crib Mattress


We spent yesterday morning educating ourselves on the virtues of crib mattresses and then ventured out to the shops to purchase ours. The literature on the web recommends finding the heaviest one if you're going with foam because that means it's the most dense and wont conform to your baby's shape which could result in suffocation and increased risk of SIDS. For inner-spring mattresses (most common) we were recommended to find one with a coil count above 130 and a steel gauge below 15, as well as some form of border wire or rods in the corners and sides for perimeter support. Bottom line, the firmer the better. One of the consumer review sites we read also said that a quality mattress will cost somewhere between $90-200, anything less than $90 likely being too soft and anything more than $200 likely having unnecessary bells and whistles.

We took this information and made our first stop at Target where we were very disappointed to find only two options, neither of which met the specs we were looking for. I know that their online store has quite a few additional options however without knowing exactly which mattress we wanted we felt uncomfortable making the purchase online, site unseen. So we headed to JCPenney and then SEARS and again found little to no selection, but on the advice of a saleswoman at SEARS made our next stop at Babies "R" Us. There we found an entire wall of crib mattresses, complete with lengthy descriptions and the ability to feel each of them prior to purchase. We settled on the Serta Perfect Balance Organic Crib Mattress and called it a day. Be warned, there are ALOT of bad crib mattresses out there!

Babywait status:
- Babywait (referral) = 5 weeks and 5 days.
- Babywait (treadmill) = 9 consecutive days, at least 30 minutes per day!

January 8, 2008

Melkam Ganna! (A Day Late)

Malkam Ganna (Merry Christmas in Amharic) from the McGregors! Christmas is celebrated on January 7th in Ethiopia and we were happy to participate in a few Ethiopian-themed events:

- We had our first Amharic tutoring session and it was fantastic! Our tutor, Zodi, is wonderful. We're really looking forward to being able to communicate (at least a little bit :)) with the community while we're in Ethiopia. During the session Zodi made the comment to me that Amharic is in my blood - The size of the smile on my face must've been record breaking!

- We met Cloverlandfarm and her husband for dinner at Meskerem, an Ethiopian restaurant in Manhattan. They're adopting from Ethiopia as well and are an absolutely lovely couple. We're hoping to go to a service at Zodi's church together sometime soon. Their services are conducted completely in Amharic with English subtitles so should be very interesting!

- I enjoyed another exciting correspondence with our CHI adoption consultant today regarding our time line: Our dossier arrived in Ethiopia on December 31st, 2007 and we've been on the wait list since December 4th, 2007. The 2-3.5 month estimated wait time to receive a referral is based off of the day we were added to the wait list, so... 1 month 4 days down, 2 months 11 days to go! (I'm a former math teacher...you have no idea how hard it is for me to refrain from posting a thorough analysis of the data and corresponding graphic representations of all of the "estimated" wait times.)

- We're on day #4 of operation "babywait be gone!" So far, so good.

So, it was a busy day but we adore participating in activities that help us to feel that much closer to our child. Our child certainly isn't waiting for us, in fact little baby McGregor has no idea we're coming. We're the lucky ones waiting for little Ashton/Isabel to be ready - and when s/he is we're on the next plane to Addis Ababa!

January 6, 2008

"Babywait"

Presenting the adoptive mom's equivalent to "babyweight"... "babyWAIT"!

Official definition (well mine anyhow):

Babywait: The additional pounds an adoptive mommy puts on while waiting for the referral of and union with her child. The official amount varies depending on the actual amount of time waited and circumstances that evolve during the wait. The wait, and subsequent babywait, can have negative side effects however those are quickly outweighed by the delightful feeling one enjoys while munching on snacks and catching up on the latest news on the blogs. You can tell if you've fallen victim to babywait if you are in the process of adopting a child and notice that your favorite pair of jeans aren't quite fitting the way they used to.

The solution to babywait?

1. A quick referral, court date, and travel date. (duh)

A more reliable solution to babywait?



January 4, 2008

One Month

On December 4th, 2007 our dossier was approved by CHI and we were added to the wait list. We've been officially waiting for one month! Now that the holidays are over things have really picked up for both my husband and I at work so I have a feeling the coming days are going to fly by. We went out for a celebration dinner last night (my husband received exciting news regarding his work but it hasn't been officially announced yet so unfortunately I can't share details...grrr) and while at dinner I asked him what he thought we should do for Valentine's Day this year. The moment the word "Valentines Day" came out of my mouth we both silenced and squinted our eyes while we thought to ourselves, is Valentines Day REALLY already next month? It feels strange enough accepting that we're actually in the year 2008, but to think that we're already making plans for February is simply astonishing.

Where did the last year go? Oh yeah I remember... it went to the police station for documents, the doctor for documents, friends for letters, social worker for documents, accountants for letters, adoption DVD's for lessons, the FBI for fingerprints, various notaries for stamps, 5 counties for certifications, 3 states for Secretary of State approval, and to the post office about a thousand times for the mailing of said paperwork! And a partridge in a pear tree.

One month down, lots of waiting to go. LOTS to do in the meantime!

December 31, 2007

Best News Of The Year On The Last Day Of The Year!

We should have known that the best news of 2007 would be delivered to us on December 31st. We woke up this morning to an email from CHI confirming that our dossier is on it's way to Ethiopia! It was express shipped on December 26th so will arrive any day now. We already know what the best news of 2008 will be, so for now will just hope that it's the best news of January or February 2008!

(I know I know, hoping for a referral in 1-2 months isn't probable but it is possible so that's what we're running with for now. We're well prepared to wait 3, 6, 12 months or longer if we have to - we'll just be 20 pounds heavier from all of the injera we'll be cooking!)

December 27, 2007

Mail!

We LOVE getting mail from CHI - pretty much anything that arrives in the mailbox from them is something that has been very anxiously awaited. The package that arrived from their office yesterday was even better because it was unexpected! We originally thought that our travel guide would arrive once we got our referral for baby Ashton/Isabel, but it was a very happy and welcomed surprise when we opened our mailbox to see that it had arrived yesterday. The travel guide includes information regarding our trip to Ethiopia and the attached letter from our agency includes sentences like:

"You will start a wonderful trip very soon, to bring your child home from Ethiopia."

And

"As you get closer to your travel date you will receive a packet containing forms and documents..."

Seeing these words put together by our adoption agency brings huge smiles to our faces because it confirms that all of the planning, gathering, chasing, certifying, and stamping will soon produce a referral, court date, and travel date. Soon! And I love that the word "soon" was included in the letter sent from our Program Director so I'm not just dreaming this all up, it really is happening soon!

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas To Our Forever Family

Ashton McGregor

~OR~

Isabel McGregor


There is a good chance that our baby is born. Baby Ashton/Isabel could be breathing the same air we woke up to this morning. I can't even begin to describe the feeling knowing that it's possible that s/he's a part of Earth right now, but even harder is the realization that the chances are that hunger and cries for needed attention are part of everyday life. Not just for the child, but for the birth parents as well who need the same nourishment, love, and attention to guide them through what is certain to be one of the most difficult times in their lives. We are here, and we await the great challenge of parenting baby Ashton/Isabel through the grandest of lives.

December 16, 2007

Christmas Cookies

I'm terrible at baking cookies and most other baked dishes. I'll admit to being a bit talented in the kitchen, but I don't seem to be able to bake a decent batch of cookies to save my life. So, when my husband suggested that we bring Christmas cookies to our neighbors I was less than anxious to oblige. I eventually gave in and spent the afternoon baking and decorating sugar cookies and white chocolate chip cookies with dried cranberries.



Sounds good right? Not so much. The sugar cookies turned out crispy and flat, and despite our best efforts to cover this up with festive green and red frosting they would still score a distant 2nd in the grocery-store-bought cookie competition. And even that's being generous. As for the white chocolate chip with dried cranberry cookies, I'm really at a loss. How on earth could something with two full sticks of butter (I don't remember the last time I even had that much butter in the fridge!), and multiple CUPS of sugar, brown sugar, and other tasty ingredients possibly turn out bad? Well, it did. The hockey pucks of the bunch have been placed in reserve as the "dunking bunch" for my husband to have with coffee, but really I think I'll just stick to the bakery for cookies from here on out. Unfortunately for our neighbors this year they'll have to do with our homemade batch...

So the point of this post you ask?

1) I baked. (And there are pictures to prove it!) They are definitely not the most scrumptious cookies on Earth, but that just solidifies the well known fact first introduced to my husband at an early age that ONLY grandmas bake cookies. Grandma Camp and Grandma Hall, preheat those ovens!

2) We're waiting for our referral and baking cookies helps pass the time. It's a good thing that baby Bean has fabulous grandmothers to bake the fabulous cookies that only grandmothers can make!