January 18, 2011

How Sick Was He?

As I sat down with a pair of women who I truly believe have the most loving intentions, I knew I was in for it. Name your adoption cliche and they've undoubtedly shouted it from the highest rooftop.

"Oh look at your gorgeous daughter! You know it always happens that way, you adopt and then BAM you're pregnant!"

"You really are a saint. To think how you saved that boy and now you have a real child. What a blessing."

"She is so gorgeous. It reminds me of how sick your boy was in the beginning. How sick was he again?"

In true Ned Flanders form, OH DIDDLY IGGLY FREAKING YIDDLY!!!!

But really, conversations like this tend to provide that occasional kick in the arse that I need to keep real. Annoying? Yes. Ignorant? Most absolutely. Just one more reason to travel the hell out of our kids so that they NEVER behave that way? YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR.


kn said...


Why do we live in the country and travel to Harlem for music lessons? Why do we vacation in the Dominican Republic but not in a resort? Why do keep moving as if we are sharks?

Because last week my 8 year old said to his best friend
"I notice you make fun of people who are different than you. Why do you do that?" That's why we do what we do. It pays off in the biggest way.

And what can you do with wonderful people whose lives have so blissfully allowed them to be so ignorant? Love them is all I can think of. And then book another trip.

Janelle said...

I absolutly love that last pic of Ashton... Man does he look like he is growing up! What an adorable big boy!

one + one said...

Those statements make me cringe. But what makes me cringe more? Remembering that I likely said (more!) stupid things before I knew what I was saying. Yikes. Learn and grow....learn and grow...

Carol McG said...

I was guilty of the first statement but cannot understand where the other two come from. Just think of this as a teaching opportunity; we have all learned a lot of things accompanying you on your fabulous journey. Your family and those exposed to your journey will never view adoption or family dynamics in a stereotyped sort of way. Thanks for keeping us on the upward learning curve. Love, Carol

Anonymous said...

What do they think, That Ashton is
fake? He's not fake he's my real cousin and I love him very very much.


Mary said...

Well said. And a great reminder for us of why we want to show our boy the world, too.

gigglechirp said...

woohoo, yes well said. I'm preparing myself for such comments. argh.

Striving to add more travel to our plans, too!

Cloverland Farm said...

"a real child." oh. my. goodness. not sure i can get over that one.
rock the passport.

Amy Bottomly said...

oh my. oh my. oh my.

Ted and Lori said...

I love this post and the idea of traveling ignorance out of a person. Good for you guys. We were told last week outside a grocery store by an acquaintance of Ted's that we both get "free passes to heaven" for adopting our son. As if he's a burden. As if it were a sacrifice. As if we deserve a reward for taking "the least of these" (oh how I hate how this term is misused). Great post.