January 23, 2011

Phew? Um, No.

A recent encounter with some seemingly naive ignorant ass-wipes women gave me the unfortunate opportunity to set aside one additional little bit that I didn't share in my last post.

"You know, he's really not that dark. No really, he's really light skinned. Phew."

Phew? PHEW? Let's just say I'm very disappointed in myself for not reaching across the table and launching myself into lifetime solitary confinement. Because the boy upstairs is not a "phew", he's by no means "light", and DEAR LORD please grant me sufficient Karma to maintain perspective.

I continue to seek perspective when responding to the daily (yes, daily) encounters that directly impact my family regarding race. It may seem unreal to some that race still plays such a role but it is ridiculously real to us. Ridiculously.

Why should light skinned = phew?

So not OK.

13 comments:

Amy Bottomly said...

again. oh my. oh my. oh my.

Karen said...

I wish I could say yikes, but I've been there. Sigh.

gigglechirp said...

Thankful for blogland so we all don't feel alone on this! Of course, I've had similar experience. grrr. "Oh, he's not black..he's not dark...Ethiopia is in Africa?" for the love.

Christine said...

egads, the stuff that people let come out of their mouths. unbelievable.

I'm sorry, girl.

becca said...

hey there... love your blog. just wanted to say "hi" and also... yep. we get that too with Sammy. "oh, so great that he's light." uh, why? why is that great? would be be less worthy if a few shades darker?
boooo. this is a ridiculous (all to common) white person thought. and it sucks.
I'm proud of you for not punching them in the necks. I might have.

one + one said...

Ohhhhh... Yes, that deserved a forehead flick at a minimum. In those situations, I can feel the color draining from my face. It is so ugly how deep this stuff runs, isn't it?

Jill said...

Argh!

Carol McG said...

There is no seemingly naive ignorance going on here; it's either intentional or just plain ignorance going on here. In either case, their brains should engage before their mouth open. We are all probably guilty at some time in our lives of first impressions inferring more than they should, but hopefully that is a learning experience for us all.
I know people who refuse to learn from idiotic comments and avoid them at all opportunities. Maybe these women will learn and grow up.

Ms. Fricknfrack said...

Ugh.

The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice. And boy, are our berries ever sweet, right?

Oh, and Go Pack.

kn said...

Sorry. It's awful. I have no other words than that. Awful and sorry.

Katy said...

Even in my most naieve, ignorant, selfish, immature state I would never have conceived of saying, "Phew, good thing your baby isn't too _______(anything). That's messed up.

vicariouscuteness.com said...

I cannot tell you the number of times someone has said "are you sure he's from Africa? because he's not dark enough"...really? do you even know Africa is a CONTINENT not a single homogeneous country?

And I loooove the fact that my "berry" gets a summer tan that turns his butterscotch skin to a deep burnt caramel. Deelish!

Xander and Alana Cole-Faber said...

A friend of mine has a very simple response that I love to people who say stupid things like that: You are rude.

Ugh.