June 14, 2010

Not A First Time Mom

You'd think that our second go-round of parenthood would entail significantly less reading, lecturing, prepping, etc... because we're already parents. We've done all this before, right? So we should have some sort of a bank of knowledge that we can just simply press the REFRESH button to access in our brains and be all set, right? For readers or even just occasional glancers of this blog that's obviously not the case. We brought Ashton home at 13 months, so months 1-12 are pretty much a mystery to us. So, off to the library and various community classes we've gone.

BUT. And can I make that a triple-dog-don't-you-dare-forget-it-BUT...

I am NOT a first time mom. And I'm ever so slightly (read: obnoxiously) annoyed at being referred to as one by educators, medical professionals, etc... And thank the Gods nobody has eff'd up and called me a first time mom in front of Ash giving him the opportunity to then question who I am to him. I'd have to get all "I'm part Montana backcountry rough, Brooklyn hardcore, and not-so-Minnesota-nice" on their arses...

Scenario 1: Breastfeeding class. Instructor: "So, we're all first time moms here?" Us: "No, we have a 3 year old at home." Instructor: "Oh, so you've done all this before!" Us: "No, this is our first pregnancy." Instructor: "Oh, OK... (fumbling around for words)..." We went on to describe that our first child is adopted and she went on to continue to describe the entire class as first time moms.

Scenario 2: Birthing class. Instructor: "So, we're all first time moms in here?" Us: "No, we have a 3 year old at home." Instructor: "Oh, so you've done all this before!" Us: "No, this is our first pregnancy." Instructor: "Oh, OK... (fumbling around for words)..." We went on to describe that our first child is adopted and she went on to continue to describe the entire class as first time moms.

Scenario 3, 4, 5, repeat repeat repeat. You get the picture.

I should probably clarify that we really were very forthcoming to each instructor about our family details, understanding of their confusion and open to further clarifying and smiles all around. I would never intentionally slight an individual for not automatically "getting it" because I understand that even the smallest bit of detail can help them to understand and move forward with addressing us appropriately. What I'm not so smiles all around about is the fact that in more cases than not they've continued to address me as a first time mom.

I am a first time breastfeeder. I am a first time birth-laborer (there was plenty of labor involved in becoming a family of 3 two years ago; weight gain, irritability, dreams that seemed to be crystal clear and an unrelenting desire to finally wrap our arms around our child notwithstanding).

But first time mom? Nope. Not even a little bit. Or as the toddler in the pictures below often likes to refer to me: Mommy Doody, Mama! (1 second later) Mama! (1 second later) Mama!, or my personal favorite: Booty Mommy. So cheers to the boy who made me a first time mommy, and a pretty damn lucky one if I might say so myself.

4 comments:

Shannon- said...

arrg is right. I'd have hit the roof. You did good being nice and polite.

kristine said...

Three cheers for your beautiful oldest child! He's going to make such a wonderful big brother!

gigglechirp said...

Tell it! way to go! Some of this stuff gets old really fast.

PC said...

I think there's a book here...we should talk!

Nice car, looks fast.