February 8, 2008

The First Family

Perspective adoptive parents adopting from Ethiopia have been notified that even if possible they may be discouraged from meeting with the first family of their child. Adoptions in Ethiopia have increased at lightening speed over the past year and one of the results is the introduction of new regulations and policies (by both the US and Ethiopian Governments). We will adhere 100% to the guidelines set in place. However, we've witnessed first hand how encounters between the first and forever families can have a priceless influence on everyone involved and sincerely hope that given the opportunity we'll be able to meet the first family of our child.

My sister is a first mom.

My little sister has had a powerful influence on our life. She's faced a barrage of challenges and been forced to redeem herself on more than one occasion. She's also given the unmatchable gift of life to two glorious children, and her life experiences have provided countless women with the inspiration to forge forward in the difficult paths they face. And through it all she's maintained the inspiration to be true to herself.

She is the first mother to two children who now live with their forever mother and father. She was young and unprepared, yet mature and strong in so many ways. She made the difficult decision to make one family's dreams come true, and they're now in their 7th year of an open adoption. I truly believe that the forever family’s ongoing connection with my sister has had a highly positive influence on the children. The first family connection can be priceless, and it just feels criminal to intentionally prevent. We continue to hope from the depths of our heart that we’ll be allowed to meet our child’s first family if at all possible.

I’m hoping my sister will agree to a guest appearance (if I haven’t upset her too much by the “little sister” references) and share some more about her experiences. We learn so much from each other in our adoptive family blog world, but the perspective of the first mother is something often unpublished.

Introducing Jewels – The newest contributor to the McGregor Journey. Stay tuned!


Rebecca said...

I can't wait to hear your sister's story!

I can't imagine not meeting with the birth mother/family if it was at all possible. I was thinking about it today actually. I would love for my child to have a picture, video, anything to show who brought them into the world. How precious to know their first mommy.

Annie said...

I also have a "first mom" close to me (closed adoption, but her daughter will be 18 shortly)...I think first moms are amazing people, too :)
I pray that nothing changes with the law so that we have an opportunity to at least meet the birth mom....to be able to give the information from that meeting to our children will be a huge gift when they are older.
Have a great time on your trip--

Amanda and Andrew said...

I read about that...
I too plan on adhering to the guidelines.

I also hope that we're able to meet our children's first mom. I feel that though it won't be an easy encounter-that it's so rich with information and emotion.

I guess time will tell what will happen.

Stacie said...

I'm so sad about the guidelines changing - it is breaking my heart that we can't send letters to Micah's first mom anymore. I am having trouble seeing how this is best for our child. I know the guidelines are put in place for a reason, but this one is hard to swallow.