February 13, 2008

Paper Preggers Part 2

Way back when we were wrapping up the paper chase and finalizing our dossier documents (ages ago, at least 4 months!) I posted about being paper preggers. At that time my husband and I were comfortable with considering ourselves in a spot comparative to the 3rd month of a pregnancy because we were finally at the stage where the initial document gathering, or "worry stage" was complete. So, we embraced going public with being paper preggers. I'm not convinced it was a brilliant idea.

For bio-preggers moms (it must be ok to refer to them that way if I'm referring to myself as paper preggers, right?) they have the secured knowledge that their baby is living inside of them and that every possible environmental, physical, and psychological need is being met to the best of their ability. With each trimester comes new developments, new visible appendages and perhaps even the gender should the family want to know. For us paper preggers families we aren't privy to this comfort or the trimester updates. And as time goes on the discomfort tends to increase - not decrease. Political, non-political, or completely random events could occur that could somehow affect the adoption process. Of course every paper preggers family enters into the world of adoption knowing full well of these possibilities (hopefully). But to be honest that doesn't help much in the day to day mind of a perspective adoptive parent. After all, we're talking about our family here - try to just hide that in the back of your mind. Hard, right?

So...Were we paper preggers when we first began learning about international adoption? Or when we finished the paper chase? Or now that we've been "officially" waiting for 2 months, 1 week, and 2 days? I might be over being paper preggers. From now on I'm just a mom waiting.

I'm OK with that - new status, mom waiting. Ready to accept and respond to the challenges that we'll inevitably encounter, but in full-swing mommy-mode as well.

Bring on that referral.


Stacie said...

Mom waiting is cute. I like it. But, I'll tell you I had a friend who went through a high-risk pregnancy with her third child (he was born 1 week after Micah, but we didn't know it then). She had lost her second baby at birth, so she was constantly worried (we all were) and even the signs of progress were scary to her. So, maybe we have more in common there. My friend and I always felt like we had been through the same things - us with infertility and that loss, their loss of a child (much more devastating - but we were just saying we'd both been through loss) and then pinning all our hopes on a chance. I'm babbling, but I'm just trying to say that a lot of our emotions are the same!

Mike & Jo said...

Well said. There are certainly parallels and also differences, however when it comes to emotions we're all just mommy's.

Cloverland Farm said...

film review of yesterday's double feature:
a walk to beautiful: wonderful! loved it! learned so much. fascinating!
live and become: not the best made film, too long, they tried to cram too much in, but interesting b/c it was about ethiopia nonetheless.

Craig & Cindy said...

I like that analysis!