September 2, 2009

So How's Your Adopted Son?

As soon as you're done choking on that last sip of wine herbal tea please take a much needed breath of fresh air and settle yourself in. Apparently there are those among us who are OK with that sentence. A sentence almost always followed with a comment that goes something like this: "You're such a blessing, God bless you for helping to save Africa!" And I may have just felt a little bit of throw up creep it's way into my mouth...

#1: How is my adopted son? Well I suppose he's just as fine as the one you passed through your vagina. How is your vagina now days anyhow? (And just in case you're wondering, the dossier I sent to Ethiopia to be matched with my son is just fine - thanks for asking.)
#2: Africa doesn't need saving. Africa needs appreciation and love and respect. Do not bless me for taking a pure blessing away from his first family and country, that, my friends, is true tragedy.
#3: Ethiopia. ETHIOPIA. EETTHHIIOOPPIIAA!!! Africa is Africa and yes Ethiopia is a country in Africa but please, for the love of Gods I implore you to do the country you're visiting/adopting from/passing through justice by actually using the country's name. Ethiopia begs you. After all, you'd never touch down in Paris and post "I'M IN EUROPE!", well, I suppose you might but then you'd have a whole mob of angry Frenchmen hunting you down with gigantic crunchy baguettes so I suppose the lesson would eventually be learned. It's Ethiopia dude - use it.

And that's it. As long as you don't refer to my son as the boy who didn't pass through my vagina or the boy we saved from Africa then we're all good. Cheers.

11 comments:

Jill said...

Amen sister! I'm so tired of hearing that my child doesn't look like she's from Ethiopia. Ummm....are you referring to the fact that she doesn't look like she's starving to death?? Grow up people and catch up with the times....stop reading old National Geographic about the famines of the past. Yes, those issues are still present but they do not DEFINE Ethiopia. Ethiopia is the beginning of the world, the origin of culture...embrace it.


Okay...completely off the subject but that picture you posted?? I'm assuming that is a trash bag but it really looks like something else but I don't think they make them that big!!!

Amanda and Co. said...

But you never did answer the question-how is he? ;)

And, I think you should just respond with "how's the kid who came out of your vagina?".

I'm going to use that.


(And, since we're talking about female body parts-the word I have to type to submit this comment is "hymen". I'm such a child.)

Ted and Lori said...

This is so very very VERY funny. I have, thank God, never been asked this question. I'm going to keep the response handy, "How is the child you passed through your vagina?"

Cloverland Farm said...

am sure #1 will become a pill in my life soon enough. #2 is always bothersome, to say the least, but #3 has been really on my mind this summer. americans look like major dumb asses when all we talk about is 'africa'. which part?

PC said...

Breathe and then I agree with Amanda, ask then her how is the some who cameout of your vagina?

Maybe laminate an African map tohandout too :) with a comment like Americans really should learn geography?

I'm jealous of Gamma, say Hi to everyone

Mom C

Brooke said...

Amen to this post. What is wrong with some people? My word.

I'm so going to keep that line in my back pocket, "how's your vaginal kid doing?" LOVE IT.

Kelly said...

I love it. We are months and months from bringing our child home from Ethiopia, but I know I need to prepare some responses for questions like these. I think I'll take your humor-filled approach!

Shannon- said...

Ya. the "Africa" v. "Ethiopia" thing is ridiculous. I choose to believe they are under educated or that they are not able to understand that Africa is a continent. I haven't heard anyone talk about Children adopted from Asia (when they mean china, india vietnam... ) oi.

I actually had a middle school teacher look at my Africa pendant and ask "What state is that?". "It's not- Its Africa" - she responded "Oh ya- I meant Country." uh huh. seriously...

Dale and Sheri said...

Great "vaginal kid" Ha! I can't count how many people have asked me "where is Ethiopia"? About the same number of people who have asked us soon after bringing our children home (daughter China, son Ethiopia both brought home under a year old) "Can he/she speak english?" DUH!

Erica said...

Seriously did laugh out loud! I would so be asking how their Vagina son is. Luckily that is not one I've encountered. I've been asked plenty of other rude questions such as if I was married to a black man when inquiring about a house to rent with my sweet son standing next to me, all my vagina kids were with me too. I asked the woman if I was would that affect my ability to rent her house. Rendered her speechless. Seriously people have no tact! These are our children with an AMAZING first country. I don't get it. Great post.

Xander and Alana Cole-Faber said...

THANK YOU! I do feel a little badly for the people who say things like "adopted son" or "own children" or whatever, because most of the time they mean no harm. But I AM SICK OF IT. SICK. I'm going to start asking people if they plan on having any vag babies anytime soon.