April 19, 2008


To some this word might have primarily positive connotations, but in NYC it tends to make people shudder and look off to the left in an effort to avoid the possibility of an uncomfortable conversation. Sorry for the gross generalization but come on, NYC is anything but domestic. At least not in the traditional sense of the word. And don't get me wrong, I actually revel in the domesticness'less of the city and the creative ways we seem to find to get around appearing to be domestic, but nonetheless...

So earlier this evening after a dreamlike day of 80 degree sunny April weather and a stop or two at our favorite local vineyards and the discovery of a fantastic new cafe my husband looks at me and says, "we're so domestic!" I could've kicked him. What a buzz kill! I reluctantly inquired why and am now wishing I would have just kept my mouth shut. He turns to me and says, "new car in the driveway, a pre-2000 Subaru (a requirement if you want any street cred in this area) and the wife cooking dinner while I assemble our new highchair for our first child". OK, less of a buzz kill but I was still annoyed. Domestic? Me? No no no, you've got it all wrong - I'm still the career and passion driven spontaneous woman you married 7 years ago...and, um, OK...I get it.

The next thing I remember I was on the phone with my sister (Wonder Mom to 3 of the cutest kids on Earth) begging her to make a trip to NY to help me prepare our home for our child. Literally begging. I now admit, I want to be domestic. I just might be lacking in some of the areas that would win me the title right now. So thank the Gods for sisters, the internet, and most of all our local wine guy who set us up with a delicious cabernet sauvignon for tonight's meal on the grill.

Domestic. Yeah, OK, I can live with that.


Amanda & Andrew said...

I think you can be career-minded and all of those other things and still domestic.

At least, that's what I've been telling myself forever.


Interesting how quickly a seemingly negative thing can become a beautiful and positive thing. Ha.

Anonymous said...

We will be ever in search of balance. Free will, a curse and a blessing, gives us the opportunity to choose and with choice comes consequences. I just read a book by Sue Miller, Lost in the Forest, that poignantly describes this same issue and the ramifications our choices have on not only our lives but those of family and friends. I reference the book here because there is one scene that still echoes in my psyche. An author giving a lecture at one of her book signings tell the crowd she is not going to speak of the book but of what's in her heart. She asks the audience this question: WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

YOU she insists, not the things you do for others or the things you own or want to own. YOU.

A haunting question that I believe most people can't really answer without some real soul searching! So thank God for how we move through life's stages melding our past with the experiences of today and the hopes and dreams of tomorrow.

I struggle with the "domestic" label but on the good days wear it as a badge of honor because as I have said a million times, parenting is the best career choice I every made!

I'm glad you like the high chair. You contemporary tastes highlight that fact that doemstic is not necessairily business as usual!

Grandma Tull and I talk to your son daily, sending him our prayers and thoughts to welcome him into the next adventure he will soon undertake.

Who said we should embrace change?

Love Mom C

Courtney Rose said...

Your mom is a beautiful writer- bravo on her insights. She certainly has got me thinking about a few things.

I also agree with her re: your contemporary flair. The high chair you have chosen embraces *your style* of domestic goodness.

You day sounds as though it were a lovely one. Won't it be incredible going to all of those places with your little guy?

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to come up and just get excited about Ashtons arrival with you! It will be wonderful!!! Thanks for letting me come out and share it all with you!
When you look at the smiles on your childs face after a fun day, and good dinner, or play time with Daddy, the word domestic is a wonderful thing, that only brings the smile back to my face knowing they are all happy and loved!
Love you guys!
The sis with 3 kids :-)