Grilling Through

*Update below.

There are certain activities in life that comfort each of us and just seem to take the edge off of any stressful or busy events that may be occurring in our lives. For some it's yoga, others shop, and still others may pray, exercise, cry, scream (I found this one useful while teaching middle school math), or rush to the nearest spa for an afternoon treatment. For us the activity is cooking, and more specifically grilling. We tend to grill our way through things and in more cases than not it seems to do the trick. Right now we're grilling our way through a couple of things.

We're grilling through winter and into spring. I realize it's early March and the temperature hasn't reached 40 degrees for months, but tonight we're going to grill our dinner. I don't care that there is still ample snow on the ground and our porch steps are still lethally slick from the last ice storm. Tonight I will arm myself with grill tongs and a special sage & lemon sauce and grill us some chicken for dinner. Spring is a mere 9 days away, I hope we have enough propane...

We're grilling our way through the babywait. I hate complaining about waiting but let's get real, it stinks. We started this process (and even had most of our dossier docs ready) way back when the wait times averaged 0-3 months. So of course when we announced to our family, friends, and colleagues that we were "expecting from Ethiopia" that was the time frame we told them all. So naturally, now more than 3 months since completing our dossier, the frequency of the question "any news yet?" is growing exponentially. I don't mind them asking, in fact sometimes it helps keep my mind on the thought that it might actually happen sometime soon. But still, I kind of feel like I'm in my 9th month of pregnancy but instead of being bombarded with questions about what day in the next 2-3 weeks I'm going to give birth I'm faced with the very real possibility that I might be in my 9th month of pregnancy for another 6-9 months... Deep breath. And another, and another...

OK, we may need some more chicken and a few new recipes to grill our way through these. Any fabulous grilling recipes or ideas you'd be willing to share? Let's think of the comments to this post as "A Griller's Guide to Spring and Babywait" cookbook of sorts. Please share!

*Update
Thank you Amanda and Andrew for sharing your (what sounds to be delicious and will definitely be tried in the near future) grilling recipe!

3 Months

Today marks 3 months "officially" waiting. Deep breath....

Paper Preggers Part 2

Way back when we were wrapping up the paper chase and finalizing our dossier documents (ages ago, at least 4 months!) I posted about being paper preggers. At that time my husband and I were comfortable with considering ourselves in a spot comparative to the 3rd month of a pregnancy because we were finally at the stage where the initial document gathering, or "worry stage" was complete. So, we embraced going public with being paper preggers. I'm not convinced it was a brilliant idea.

For bio-preggers moms (it must be ok to refer to them that way if I'm referring to myself as paper preggers, right?) they have the secured knowledge that their baby is living inside of them and that every possible environmental, physical, and psychological need is being met to the best of their ability. With each trimester comes new developments, new visible appendages and perhaps even the gender should the family want to know. For us paper preggers families we aren't privy to this comfort or the trimester updates. And as time goes on the discomfort tends to increase - not decrease. Political, non-political, or completely random events could occur that could somehow affect the adoption process. Of course every paper preggers family enters into the world of adoption knowing full well of these possibilities (hopefully). But to be honest that doesn't help much in the day to day mind of a perspective adoptive parent. After all, we're talking about our family here - try to just hide that in the back of your mind. Hard, right?

So...Were we paper preggers when we first began learning about international adoption? Or when we finished the paper chase? Or now that we've been "officially" waiting for 2 months, 1 week, and 2 days? I might be over being paper preggers. From now on I'm just a mom waiting.

I'm OK with that - new status, mom waiting. Ready to accept and respond to the challenges that we'll inevitably encounter, but in full-swing mommy-mode as well.

Bring on that referral.

Best News Of The Year On The Last Day Of The Year!

We should have known that the best news of 2007 would be delivered to us on December 31st. We woke up this morning to an email from CHI confirming that our dossier is on it's way to Ethiopia! It was express shipped on December 26th so will arrive any day now. We already know what the best news of 2008 will be, so for now will just hope that it's the best news of January or February 2008!

(I know I know, hoping for a referral in 1-2 months isn't probable but it is possible so that's what we're running with for now. We're well prepared to wait 3, 6, 12 months or longer if we have to - we'll just be 20 pounds heavier from all of the injera we'll be cooking!)

A New York Christmas

We fly to Minnesota tomorrow to be with our family for Christmas so celebrated our New York Christmas today. My husband got up early and made my mom's famous Swedish almond coffee cake for breakfast (sorry love, but mom's is still better!) then we blasted Christmas music and did the "tree thing". For those unfamiliar, the "tree thing" is when we sit around our Christmas tree in the worlds most comfortable pajamas eating Swedish almond coffee cake while drinking coffee with Baileys Irish Cream and open presents. Our cats spend the morning playing with crumpled up wrapping paper and then we retire to the couch where we watch various holiday episodes of The Simpson's. The only way this morning could possibly be better would be if our little baby Bean was there to enjoy it with us. Thank goodness that time is fast approaching!



We received word from CHI today that our dossier has received certification from the US Department of State and the Ethiopian Embassy, so as soon as it arrives back at CHI's office will be sent on to Ethiopia where (thank goodness) no further certification will be necessary, just a bit of wait time before the all important match is made.

Off to watch Christmas movies and pack - as you may have noticed Bridger has already made himself quite comfortable in his box, and I'm sure Bode is sure to follow!

Dossier Update

Well, not really - but kind of. Our CHI Adoption Consultant emailed me on Tuesday and told us that she receives weekly dossier updates from St. Louis (CHI's main office) but hadn't received this week's update yet. If everything has gone according to plan then our dossier should be arriving in Ethiopia as early as next Tuesday, December 18th, so we're really hoping to be on the DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) list very soon! Some agencies consider families to be officially waiting upon submission of the dossier to the agency, in which case we have been waiting now for one week and two days. I don't think that's how CHI works however (I get the impression that their wait times begin when the dossier is officially in Ethiopia) so let's all hope that it arrives on Tuesday!

Also, I updated my list of Ethiopian adoption blogs to the right and there are a few new ones - check'em out!

Making A List, Checking It Twice

Our dossier arrived at CHI's main office in St. Louis yesterday and was reviewed by the Ethiopia Team Program Director. Short of a few missing documents (all of which we faxed over this morning) it passed initial inspection! I say "initial" because I have a feeling that the revising, reviewing, and resubmitting of documents is one of those things that is never ending in this process. The prefix "re" is commonly used when preparing a dossier! This list has been made, checked, rechecked, and re-rechecked so many times I've lost track - we definitely put Santa Clause to shame in that department.

Of the documents that were missing most of them had to do with CHI's additional requirements and not necessarily dossier requirements. CHI is very dedicated to ensuring that their waiting families are well educated and prepared for the adoption and parenting journey so they mandate things like DVD courses, online testing, parent education classes, reading specific books and engaging in self reflection activities, etc... This part can be a little overwhelming when you're in the process of gathering so many other documents, but it's important to remember that at the end of all of this we're going to be parents and you can NEVER over-prepare for that job!

CHI emailed me that our dossier should be in Ethiopia in 2 - 2.5 weeks which lands in the December 18 -22 range. Merry Christmas!

FedEx And An Interesting Article

After notarizing, county certifying, and state certifying a copy of our I-171H this morning I bundled our now complete dossier and sent it on it's way to CHI's main office in St. Louis! The clerk at the FedEx location where I dropped it off thought I was a bit odd for taking a picture, but little does he know how valuable this package is!



A friend send me a link to this New York Times article which I think is an interesting read, especially the comments that people posted in reaction.
Enjoy!
New York Times: A "Normal" Family

The Mailman Is OFF The Naughty List!

GOT IT!!!!! Only good things come in envelopes sent from USCIS. Now that our dossier is complete with our I-171H the whole package will be shipped to our agency first thing Monday. Hooray!!!

The Economy, Adoption, And Finances...Not Necessarily In That Order

Federal Chairman Ben S. Bernanke officially freaked everyone out last night when he told Congress that the economy is going to get worse before it gets better and that the economy is about to "slow noticeably". Great. There was also mention of the housing market continuing to sprial downward and the dollar hitting another new low against the euro and various other marvelous tidbits of information. Now, top this off with a sudden increase in our monthly mortgage payments due to our closing agent's GROSS miscalculation of our school tax and all of a sudden the topic of finances begins to creep it's way in to a growing number of conversations. Then again, we did sneak into the housing market last year just before things started to go really pear shaped and could not be happier with our cozy home, politically & environmentally active community, and one of the best school districts in the country.

What does this have to do with adoption?

1) Our school taxes are worth it. Bean is going to attend some of the best public schools in the US and have constant access to the influence of higher education via our local state university, SUNY New Paltz.

2) Our taxes pay the mailman who, yet again, neglected to deliver our I-171H today. I should be aiming this frustration towards USCIS, but unfortunately for the mailman he's the more visible candidate. So (for now) our mailman smells of elderberries.

4 Thoughts, 1 Post

We have an exciting post, a still waiting post, an Amharic update post, and an odd question post all of which surfaced today. Each of these thoughts likely warrant their own posting, but it's a short work week and I'm very much so looking forward to the long holiday weekend so I'm going to keep this short and sweet!

Exciting
* We received our first clothing purchase for Bean in the mail today. It's a onsie (6-12 months, hopefully will fit!) produced by American Apparel as part of their Bella {Muse} series and has a scribbled line that says "Artist" underneath. Adorable.



Waiting
* We're still waiting for the I-171H. It is the last form we need before our dossier can be sent to Ethiopia and we can begin officially waiting for a referral. We were fingerprinted 18 days ago and were hoping that this form would arrive before Thanksgiving. One more mail day... come on Postman!

Amharic
* Our adoption consultant notified us today that CHI may be offering Amharic classes in our area in the near future! YEAH!!! This is definitely something we would participate in and have recently begun the search for an Amharic tutor so this is great timing. No number of books, DVD's, or colorful beanbags could possibly be as affective as an actual agency sponsored/recommended language tutor and/or class. Very exciting, CHI is amazing!

Odd Question
* I was randomly asked this question by a close-to-complete stranger today who happened to know about our adoption via having worked with my husband recently:

"Are you planning on having your own kids after adopting?"

Are you kidding me? Not only was this my first time exchanging anything other than a quaint "hello" with this person (which was evidently enough for him to feel justified inquiring about our personal family matters including reproductive habits) but what exactly did he mean by "my own" children? My response didn't even come close to the thoughts that were bubbling inside my head at the time, but the moment he asked the question has been haunting my thoughts ever since. I know we're going to encounter far more disturbing situations and we're doing our best to educate ourselves on the best way to handle them, however we'll never cease to find them disturbing nor would we ever want to. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm by asking what I'm sure he thought was a simple question, however not only was it not simple but completely ill-stated and very personal as well. I definitely need to better prepare myself for similar future encounters.

Organization At Last

Phew. After almost 3 weeks of our 2nd floor furniture living on the 1st floor we're now officially moved back in, clean, and organized! We hosted a dinner party last night which provided the much needed motivation to put things back in order. Ever since the 2nd floor refinishing/carpeting escapade the house has been in complete disarray and it's fantastic to finally have everything in it's place at last. We also successfully completed a 48 hour cleansing so indulging in spicy enchiladas, wine, caffeine, and a clean home last night with guests was pure joy.

Another bonus of the mass cleaning/organization is that we found the computer cord for our digital camera so can finally post some decent pictures of Mike putting up the Christmas lights last weekend and the end result of our renovation from this weekend. Still no I-171H, but the mailman is now hand delivering all of our mail directly to our doorstep. We have many things to be thankful for this week, and an attentive mailman is one of them. Hopefully one of his next deliveries will be in an envelope from USCIS!

Mike transforming our home into a Christmas gingerbread house:



Bean's room is on it's way! We now have the crib put together, the first piece of art (an outline of Ethiopia with a heart in the center that says, "There's nowhere I wouldn't go to bring you home to me"), our new Amharic beanbags for numbers and colors, and Bean's first blankets/clothing from Great Grandma Soer.



Bridger fast asleep under our new living room blinds:



Mike's office is finally organized!

5 Months 6 Days 10 Hours 7 Minutes...

To think that we don't count every moment of every day would be undermining our perseverance. The Mailman has suddenly become our most anticipated visitor, the occasional post about an I-171H arriving "earlier than expected" is our unexpected window of hope that things may progress "quicker than expected". I use quotes because the very meaning of the word "expected" deserves to be taken contextually. There are no expectations in international adoption, yet we as adoptive parents would be lying if we said that we had none. We have expectations, however they may be more in the form of hopes.

2 1/2 Months

Is the longest wait time between submission of dossier to referral for the most recent 4 families in CHI's Ethiopia program! We've been reading a lot lately about how the wait times have been increasing due to the increase in agencies working in Ethiopia so it was fantastic to read that the recent CHI Ethiopia families received their referrals so quickly. Congratulations to the families!

One Week Later

No carpet. No I-171H. The carpet was supposed to be installed today thus ending a week of all of our furniture living in our living and dining rooms, but they called this morning to tell us that there was a delivery delay so they won't be able to install until Monday. There goes our fun weekend of redecorating and putting things back in order... USCIS somehow didn't get the memo either that our I-171H needs to be delivered ASAP! Yes, I know it's been just a week which would probably have broken some major land speed record for government document delivery, but a girl can hope, can't she? So I need to find a "YES" for today, too many "NO's" to start the day off.

Yes, we live in a beautiful neighborhood in a gorgeous home and the yard is sprinkled with red, yellow, and orange leaves, and now that we have some unexpected free time this weekend I see leaf jumping in our future!

Yes, we have two fantastic cats who keep us company when one of us is out of town. They somehow sense that the one of us who is at home needs a little extra cuddling while the other's away and cuddle-in extra often.

Yes, I'm going to go grocery shopping today and cook an amazing dinner that will make the whole house smell of garlic, sage, and rosemary. I love to cook.

Okay, maybe I can wait a few days longer for the carpet and I-171H.

Why Ethiopia?

The amount of paper we've had to edit, copy, notarize, certify, fax, and then recopy is enough to question the effect of international adoption on the environment, although the quantity of trees that have been sacrificed is obviously very well worth it. We'll go as far as we need to go and fax as many 35 page copies of our dossier that need to be faxed to bring our little one home! But why Ethiopia?

The first page of our dossier is a letter to the Ethiopian Government explaining why we would like to adopt a child from Ethiopia. My husband and I wrote this letter and edited it all in one evening. We sat down and just thought out loud and reflected on our thoughts and feelings together and wrote an honest and excited letter. I guess I've just always felt that this is how my family is going to grow, and who we are going to be, and have always had that one little place in my insides that didn't feel quite complete, but has always known, somehow, exactly what was going to complete it. It's hard to put that into words, but when you've been planning something as long as my husband and I have been planning this the words tend to flow.

Why Ethiopia? Because we live in an area of the USA where we have access to an active Ethiopian community and will be able to provide our child with knowledge and pride for where Bean came from and who Bean is. Because we live near a street where Amharic is the primary language and Ethiopian restaurants are in no short supply. Because as we researched adoption programs Ethiopia kept calling to us as this absolutely amazing country with such an astounding history. Because there is a little one out there who is family. Ethiopia will be entrusting us with an amazing responsibility, to raise one of their children with love and respect and pride for who they are and will become. Obviously this is a responsibility we are anxious to take on.

Sister Support

Thanks to my always reliable support system of mothers and sisters I've chilled out a bit and am secure in the knowledge that everything that can be done is being done as quickly as possible. Sometimes I need to be reminded that this process does not revolve around the timeline of my husband and I, or the timeliness of the US government, or even the steady efforts of all who have been involved in helping bring us to the completion of our dossier. It revolves around Bean's life, Bean's timeline, and when Bean is ready, we'll go and get him/her. The refreshing breath of fresh air that a girl breaths after having a mother/sister moment is truly priceless.

Waiting On The Gov't

Forgot to mention in my last post that the information we did find in blogs from NY indicate about a 6 week lag time between fingerprinting and receipt of the I-171H. That would put us around the mid-December mark for submitting our dossier, and mid-January mark for officially just "waiting". As if we've been doing something other than waiting the rest of this time, it feels like all we've been doing it completing document after document at rush speeds, all to just wait and enter the next stage of waiting. Patience patience patience...

Blog Searching & Football

We woke up this morning (with an extra hour to spare, thanks to daylight savings) thinking that we'd search the blogs for New York families in the adoption process in an attempt to learn more about the average time between fingerprinting and receipt of the I-171H. Given the sheer volume of blogs out there we assumed that New York adoption blogs including a timeline would be plentiful. Not so much. Not only do the wait times differ (hugely) from state to state, but it also seems that any attempt to learn about the potential wait times in your specific state will result in a handful of oddly organized blogs that point to, well, not much more information than what you woke up with. This must be karma's way of telling us to chill out, we've done all that we can do, just be patient and enjoy a beautiful November New York Sunday afternoon. I can handle that I guess, doesn't hurt that the Vikings absolutely dominated the Chargers...

No Cell Phones, Please

The fingerprinting centers have a no cell phone policy and today we just about witnessed an all out brawl because of it. A gentleman and his wife were reporting for their fingerprinting appointment and had taken public transit to the center. When the security guard informed them cell phones are not allowed inside the gentleman said ok and asked where he could check it while he got his fingerprints taken. The security guard informed him that the center does not provide a holding area for cell phones and that he would have to wait outside. Huh? How can you not allow a device and then not provide an option for storing it? Anyhow, the gentleman was not so gentile and gave the guard a really hard time. In the end his wife got her fingerprints taken first while he waited outside and then they traded places so everything eventually worked out. I don't understand giving the security guard a hard time over the matter though, it's not like they write the policies - they just enforce them. Those of you who haven't been fingerprinted yet beware: Leave your cell phones at home or in the car!

The fingerprinting machines that the Department of Homeland Security uses for USCIS approvals are so cool. They digitally scan your prints and feed them directly into their massive database and spit out a score for each one. My right hand ring finger received the highest score of my ten digits, a 75, but Mike's left hand thumb trumped me with an 80. Can't win'em all. This part of the process does win the speedy aware though - we were in and out of the building in 20 minutes! It was officially the last thing on our to-do list for the dossier, nothing to do now until the I-171H arrives.