Back To School

Today marked our first day back to the closest version of "normal" we've been in nearly 3 months. Ash returned to school (first day of preschool!), Leni's babysitter arrived to take over the baby routine, and mom and dad left, and I mean really LEFT for work. Ever since Leni's birth Ash was either on a modified summer day schedule for school or on vacation from it entirely and we'd been juggling the Ash/baby routine between the two of us and some VERY appreciated family and friends. Without their help we would have surely found ourselves completely looped. THANK YOU. But today, tomorrow and most definitely Wednesday when mommy hits the road and will be out of earshot of the babe for an entire day for the first time ever, there will be no juggling involved. From here on out we've got a schedule back, and for better or worse it seems to suit us.

Fav Foto Friday

Gunk Haus

And no, I'm not (completely) inferring that our house has been taken over by gunk. But now that I think of it that might just be a nice transition to an update on our transition...

First and most importantly, Gunk Haus is actually a new'ish restaurant in the Hudson Valley that quickly became one we frequent, frequently. The owners spent years completely remodeling their building into it's current state as a brew house/German beer pub and blogged throughout the process. It's fun to follow along with other's journeys. They serve nearly every dish on a homemade pretzel bun. Seriously. And then you get to finish your meal with these little homemade pretzels stuffed with chocolate. And top it all off with great drink and one killer view of the Shawangunk Ridge (hence the name "Gunk" Haus as the Shawangunks are often just referred to as the Gunks). Let's just say we're big fans. And yes, when we ask Ash what he'd like for dinner he tends to reply most often with a name of a restaurant (or his favorite dish at the restaurant), so when he starts blabbing about chocolate and pretzels we know exactly where he's talking about.

And then there's the matter of our own gunk house...

Gone are the days of Leni's 5-6 hour block of sleep at night, she apparently prefers the 3 hour pattern instead. But, hello to the days when she sleeps mostly in her crib in her own room. This is a very good thing. I'll happily move to the glider in her room twice a night to nurse and/or bottle if it means having our own bedroom back to being ours. We didn't go the co-sleep route with Ashton either, though occasionally he'd join us, and still does, when he wakes up way too early or just can't sleep for some reason. I still wonder if that was the right way to handle it when he came home, if he might have attached quicker had we co-slept, but things seem to have taken an OK track with the way we did handle it so I try not to dwell on other possibilities too much. With Leni we don't have the 13 months of separation and loss contributing to the process that we had with Ash so the whole idea of attachment is a much lighter topic this go-round. I barely questioned whether it was time to move her to her crib or not, she just seemed ready. That said, I'm slightly more stressed by her basic health needs than I ever was with Ash. He was 13 months old and much less breakable. His health needs had obvious treatment plans, he could eat anything. A little different with a newborn. Anyhow, different kids and different situations = very different stressors.

Thankfully they seem to dig each other quite a lot. She's most expressive when he's in the room, and he is absolutely thrilled by any conversation that involves the gunk that seems to be constantly flowing out of his baby sister. I'm hoping it's just his age that's prompting a fascination with all things bodily fluid. Want to make Ash grin from ear to ear? Just tell him his little sis has a poopy diaper. Done.

Wordless Wednesday

Growth Exponential

And this is when all adults of the world, both parents and not, look at me quizzically and shout one large resounding DUH in my gigantic naive face that was clearly on a vacation to La-La Land the day they went over the topic of parenting multiples in Sunday School. And I reply with a gracious yet exhausted-of-every-last-ounce-of-usable-energy sigh and flop of my head into my hands.

Two is so much more than double the work of one. In fact, I'm reminded of the day I learned to graph Y = X^2 and discovered the joys of exponential growth charts. Today I'm feeling a little bit like the upper Y values on that graph of Y = x^2...

Again, DUH. I know.

But. Ashton has been on summer break from school, I returned to work, Helena decided she needed more nutrients than what I could physically offer her all by myself, Daddy's travel schedule has been Insane with a capital I (which I'd make exponentially capital if that was possible), and well... It's been kind of a big month.

Sure, Ash will return to school next week and I enjoy my job and Leni and I are sorting out her nourishing preferences (and my capabilities of meeting those preferences) and Daddy is... well Daddy's still busy busy but also starting to internalize the few yet important keys to a not bonkers Mommy. It's just taking a while to get to that slightly more calm state that once existed but now apparently requires a pirate's bounty kind of bribe to lure anywhere near our property.

Anyhow.

Two big enormous super-sized bonuses:
1) Ash LOVES his school and is so excited to start the new year next week. We couldn't be luckier to have such an amazing facility accessible mere blocks away from home.
2) We're worked out a decent schedule with two babysitters that should help us stave off daycare for Leni for a few months. We absolutely trust the daycare center we picked out for her to start full time in January, but there's nothing like knowing that she'll be in the comfort of her own home, right across the driveway from our home office, receiving one-on-one care for a few more months.

But.

Even with those two wonderful facts on full display right there in front of me, I'm still stressed out about making sure Ash gets the attention he needs while Leni gets the nutrition she needs while my work gets the productivity they need while Daddy gets the evidence he needs to remain under the impression that he didn't marry a complete wack job. And not quite so surprisingly all of this is not helping my efforts to boycott Dunkin Donuts.

And the one tidbit that I'll continue to hold on to with every shred of strength in my soul is the knowledge that this is just a phase and these days we're in a sort of revolving door relationship with phases so I could very well wake up tomorrow and not feel the ten ton weight on my chest that threatened to bury me in the Mariana Trench this morning.

Universe, if you're listening, it's about time for a phase change.

Sunday Styles

Wordless Wednesday

Check It Out

Because she says it so well. My Kid Is Better Than Your Kid.

Napping In Brooklyn

So we got to Brooklyn and I went to put Leni down for a nap and Ash became very insistent that she sleep in his room instead of in the pack n play in ours. I said OK, as long as he could create a safe napping environment for her. And this is what he came up with.

Yo Gabba Gabba

That lump on my chest? Leni. Strapped in to the sling snuggly as can be while mom and Ash rocked out to Yo Gabba Gabba at the original sight for the Woodstock festival in the 60's in Bethel, NY. Mommy gets a gold star for braving the Yo Gabba crowd solo with 2 month old and uber-hyper 3 year old in tow, though a t-shirt that says "I nursed my kid at Yo Gabba Gabba and only 3 people saw my boobies" would do too...

TGIF

Just Doing It

I'm a "no going back" type. Things I do are usually last minute decisions that have been playing out in slo-mo in my mind for YEARS and then are carried out instantaneously at the drop of a hat. Where to go to University, to live in S. America for a year, to apply for Teach for America and relocate to NY the day after our Montana wedding. And more recent events such as buying a home upstate while maintaining an apartment in the city, stopping the bottle for Ash, moving him from his crib to his toddler bed to his brand new big boy room and bed... all things that I blinked and decided to just do.
FYI: The ways we chose to grow our family were most certainly NOT one of those things. Just, you know, to clear up a couple possible wonderings...

Anyhow.

Tonight we're moving Leni to her crib. In her room. That means she's there right now, as I type, and daddy is currently disassembling the pack n play she's been sleeping in for the past month or so (after she upgraded from the bassinet where she spent her first 3-4 weeks) so that I do not have the option to move her back in to a crib in our room. Well, there's always the option to bring her in to bed with me (which is likely to happen...) but that will always be there no matter what. So, as she lies there all by herself in her very own crib in her very own room with her only company being Baby Tad and the Hitachi Magic Wand, I wonder where the freaking hell the last 2 months have gone. Honestly.

So. We're just doing it.

Why?

Because.

Monday.

Monday, I go back to work. And Monday I need to not be popping up every 45 minutes in the middle of the night to make sure the snort I heard wasn't her esophagus spontaneously combusting. I need to know that when we all awake to perform "the routine" bright and early Monday that we'll all be as rested as humanly possible. Now, I'm not that nuts. I get what "humanly possible" means in my situation, trust me. Which is why it's even more important to optimize the "possible" part of the phrase.

So. As I listen to her non-combustible snort over the baby monitor and watch Ash absolutely glue his eyes to the baby monitor screen so that he can proclaim "THERE'S BABY HELENA IS SHE OK???" every 30 seconds I ask only this:

May the bright eyes of the Gods, Karma, and Leonardo DiCaprio bless us with a calm and blissful transition this night. And may no esophagus be discovered combusted.

Purple Love

We gave it our best shot, but there's just no beating the gravitational pull that keeps yanking us back to Purple Pride and another season as MN Vikings fans. We're definitely New Yorkers but switching our loyalties from the Vikings to Giants just never felt quite right. So here we are, as purple as it gets.

So, Leni made it through airport security and landed in MN for her first of what are sure to be many MN world tours. Ash tried to give her all of his priceless pointers during the flight, like always ask the ones named grandma and papa for treats and remember to stay on the quiet side after 8PM so mom and dad will just forget that it's your bedtime and you'll get to stay up till all hours playing with your cousins. She didn't seem too terribly receptive to his gems of wisdom but I'm sure that will change quickly in the years to come. Ash pretty much has MN wrapped around his finger at this point...

No matter how many treks we make to MN it never ceases to amaze me how genuinely wonderful it is to have family in the room next door or right across the street or on their way over for a coffee and a quick visit. New York may be our home but we sure are suckers for the purple love.

Wordless Wednesday

Just Picture It

Saturday morning. Baby Child just fed (aka, snoozing soundly) and Toddler Child sweetly engrossed in a Care Bears movie on daddy's lap. Mommy sneakily wraps her legs around the corner and tip-toes up the stairs to the bathroom. The room where the bathtub is. The bathtub, as in the thing mommy was prohibited from using during during the pregnancy and then prohibited from using again until after the incision from the cesarean healed (another 6 weeks). There's just enough hot water left in the hot water heater after the morning laundry load filled with "we're parents of a newborn" and "we're parents of a newly potty trained toddler" puked/pee'd on items (sometimes both) to fill the tub with the most scrumptious hot bubbly water. Oh, and it doesn't end there. That bathroom I mentioned earlier? The one with the bathtub? IT IS THE ONLY ROOM IN THE HOUSE WITH A LOCK. Me and a few of the most recent editions of NY Mag, well, we enjoyed some much needed alone time. The only thing that could have possibly enhanced the experience would have been Leo DiCaprio appearing in the window for the soul purpose of dropping off a perfectly iced margarita on the rocks no salt...

And then just picture it again

Saturday night. Toddler Child has brushed his teeth, gone potty, read stories, sung songs, gone potty again, and is now singing himself to sleep with Plain White T's tunes (see post below). Baby Child on the other hand is clearly resisting all efforts for a pre-11PM snooze time. Sure it's been nice that our now nearly 8 week old daughter has delivered at least one 6-hour nightly block of sleep during actual nighttime hours since she was 4-5 weeks old, but we're going for gold here folks. We want to control when that 6-hour block happens, and if at all possible extend it to 7 or 8 or 9 or... So, have you seen the episode of Sex and the City where Samantha babysits for Miranda and the vibrating chair runs out of batteries so Samantha replaces them with her Hitachi Magic Wand?

Bottom line = IT WORKS. Sure, go ahead and judge. But Baby's got a new crib toy and mommy and daddy seem to have been green lighted for a 9:30PM bedtime. Score.

Sometimes just picturing it looks better to some than others. In this case, anyone out there currently parenting both a toddler and an infant is currently hating us. A Lot. Well, that or they just installed a lock on their bathroom (the one with the bathtub) door and are searching for the nearest Hitachi product retail shop to their home and are headed there. Right. Now.

As Easy As One Two, One Two Three Four

Ash's version of the Plain White T's song "1234"

And the original version, as sung by the Plain White T's

Wordless Wednesday

You Put The Lime In The...

A few nights ago we got to meet Ash's BFF's new little sister. Her due date was about a week and a half before Leni's but, well, you know the story. So, while we were reveling in some adult conversation over our first margaritas in oh, about 9 months, the 3 year old boys could be faintly heard giggling in the room down the hall while they occupied themselves trashing O's room playing peacefully and the newbie girls hung out in their respective vibrating and/or oscillating contraptions. The kind that go through 17 of the rarest sized batteries on Earth every week but you'll happily hunt down and pay for because you secretly wish you had your own vibrating oscillating contraption and can't fathom the thought of depriving your infant of one as long as it's still legal and hasn't yet become a denied right for infants under the Defense of Marriage Act...

Anyhow.

So we're sitting there and it suddenly occurs to each of us at nearly the exact same moment that our children are the the freaking bomb. OK, maybe we'd had this thought to ourselves before but at this particular moment is was just so ridiculously BLINKING IN NEON LIGHTS kind of clear. So naturally the conversation moved to cloning.

The result?

We narrowed down all potential causes for such uncanny fortune (via the most scientific of methods, of course) to...

Disney and Bud Light Lime.

Why?

Because that's where and what we were all doing in the weeks leading up to celestial alignment that delivered us two of the chillest baby girls ever.

And then the weekend continued and we celebrated Christmas in August (complete with a gift for each and an evening of The Grinch and several rousing rounds of Hungry Hungry Hippo), a Sunday stocked with farm visits and berry picking, and well...

I'll be toasting The Universe tonight with a Bud Light Lime.

Sunday Styles

The Babysitters

Fav Foto Friday

Wordless Wednesday

Welcome August

July (forever to be known as the 31 sleepless days when daddy had more traveling projects than ever and mommy morphed into Agent MMM: Maniacal Milk-producing Machine) is out and August has happily rolled its way in. Nearly 6 weeks down as a family of 4 and I'm proud to report we're all still breathing, albeit a bit quicker than before at times. Like the time I realized I had 5 minutes to get Ash to school and Leni had just filled her diaper (and jammies) and I hadn't brushed my teeth and Ash got both legs stuck in one hole in his underpants and the cat had just escaped. Ash was only 1 minute late to school that day. And the time daddy was on his FINAL flight of a 5-week travel spree for work and had to be deplaned then re-planed 5 or 6 times before the flight was canceled then rebooked on the next flight (that was leaving from the complete opposite side of the airport in 16 minutes), meanwhile the kids and I anxiously prepped for his return home by trying to simultaneously bathe the 3 year old and feed the 5 week old and try to identify which of the 3 piles of laundry are A) puked on B) spilled on C) clean, because everything fits in to 1 of those 3.

And then he was really really home and I really really popped the champagne and we proceeded to hang out together, all 4 of us, for an entire weekend. And daddy didn't even have to be at an airport at 6AM Monday morning! We may even venture to wing night at the village pub tonight in celebration! I wonder what super spicy buffalo chicken does to the flavor of breast milk.

Buh-bye July and Hellooooo August!

Kid stats:
Ash made the move to big boy underpants a little over a week ago and we've enjoyed being (nearly) accident free ever since. His cereal of choice for potty battleship is Kix. He's a puzzle-putting-together machine. Seriously, give him a puzzle listed for age 5+ and he'll have it put together faster than I can place our dinner order for sushi delivery.
Leni continues to grow like a weed. She's gone from 4lbs 13oz to 7lbs 6oz in just less than 6 weeks. She giggles in her sleep and has started to grab objects in front of her. She'll be carefully selecting which of Ash's puzzle pieces to slobber over in no time.

And us?
Last night Ash kissed Mommy and Leni goodnight and brought Daddy upstairs for stories. Mommy and Leni listened through the window while swinging in the hammock on the porch. Then Mommy and Daddy enjoyed a Beer and some animal crackers while watching the Discovery Channel's Shark Week episode #1.

August = So far, so good.

Fav Foto Friday

Now That THAT'S Over

Because it's clearly over right? The whole phase-changing life gets flipped right on top of itself thing that whispers softly in your ear "you're doing a great job and it's all coming together" only to grab your ponytail and dunk you face first in to the toilet for a good 'ol fashioned swirly mere moments later. Over. Yeah.

Well it may not be over, but some good news is that our pediatrician is still claiming that I'm doing a decent job. Ash (AKA Master of the Universe) seems to be potty trained and Leni (AKA I'll sleep whenever the hell I want thankyouverymuch even if that doesn't include the hours of 10PM-3AM) is growing like a weed. She even officially made it on to the newborn growth chart today weighing in at 6lbs 14oz. Not bad seeing as she's still supposed to be inside me for another 8 days. Sure, it's been a while since I've shaved my legs or played any sort of active role in an adult conversation, but I have mastered the art of the "I'm a sincere listener" head nod and ability to keep eyes open just long enough for the other participants to assume I'm totally engaged. Totally. And did you read the first part of the paragraph? The doc said I was doing a DECENT job! Champagne toast at my house!

So anyhow.

The plan was for me to be hyper productive during my maternity leave and do things like clean out / organize / rearrange the play room, actually keep up with the mail (you laugh, but have you ever seen the inside of a self employed photographer's mailbox?), and maybe even clean out the XYZ (insert pretty much anything as it's been AGES since we've cleaned out... anything). So far my accomplishments include:

*Both children are fed and dressed by 8:15AM
*Both children are in their PJ's and read to by 9:00PM (don't let this fool you, there's plenty more fun to be had with Ms Sleeps When She Wants To during our nightly afterparties)

Not bad if you ask me. Those other things on that other list will still be there tomorrow...

Just Kidding

I should have known better. Publicly admitting to making progress is just asking, no, screaming for that very progress to come to a screeching halt, no, actually go in reverse. I haven't backtracked completely to corner #2, thankfully I am still on my way to corner #3 and making somewhat forward progress. It just looks a bit more like a zig-zag at the moment with lots of breaks. Lots.

But.

That real me I referred to in that last post? Still somewhere out there, just not completely reattached as of yet. It was fun to have a moment of confidence though. To actually see what's going on around me and ponder and reflect rather than the reactive state my mind has been locked in to for the last 4 1/2 weeks that's gotten amazingly accurate at catching newborn projectile body fluids in mid air. Not exactly great mental prep for digesting the entirety of the Sunday NY Times.

Anyhow.

The point is that a corner was indeed rounded, but I've a long way to go before closing the perimeter.

New goals for the week:

#1: Place more online orders for adult mystery novels and political nonfiction books than online orders at Diapers.com.
#2: Actually read one of the adult mystery novels or political nonfiction books instead of scouring the Internet for answers to questions about sibling jealousy, adoption attachment specific to major life events (bringing home baby sister), "normal" newborn eating/pooping behaviors, and infant developmental milestone timelines.
#3: Leave the house alone, at least once, for at least an hour.

That should set me on a pretty decent course to make progress towards corner #3. There I go again making public comment about potential progress-making...I'm so screwed.

Corner #2

We turned corner #1 the day we came home from the hospital (which seems like ages ago at this point), and this week I can confidently say that corner #2 is done and dusted. The real question, of course, is exactly which geometric figure we're working on navigating and how many corners it has. My best guess is that we're looking at a Myriagon (10,000 sided polygon) but only time will tell.

So, more about corner #2:

This week I finally began feeling like my real self again. The kind of person who can wake up, take a shower (1 child wheeled into the bathroom in the bassinet and 1 child staring mindlessly into the world of The Little Einsteins in the next room), get everyone dressed, drop child #1 off at school while nearly simultaneously feeding child #2 (if it weren't for car seat regulations I'd invest time in figuring out a way to feed while driving...), stop for coffee, run to the store for items A, B, and C that we seem to be running out of daily, and return home for child #2's next feeding to be completed mere moments before it's time to go pickup child #1 from school. All while singing a tune in the shower, enjoying the songs on the radio, and having the most brilliant conversation in the car about turtles and airplanes that you've ever heard ever.

Compare this with a week ago when toothpaste was accidentally applied as shampoo and I nearly drove off the road when attempting to both breath and make a left turn all at the same time and well, you'll start to understand what I mean when I say I'm now feeling like my real person. You know, one that can play hide-and-go-seek with one child and breastfeed the other while making phone calls for dinner reservations and booking holiday travel plans online.

Corner #2, it was nice to meet you. Onward and forward.

Haircut #2

Before

After

Wordless Wednesday

3 Weeks Later

I must admit that 3 weeks ago had you told me this picture would be reality 3 weeks later I would have cheers'd to your unmistakable case of the crazies. Yet here we are, 3 weeks later and it's July 2010 and we grew by +1 LAST MONTH and LAST MONTH we became a family of 4 and it's summer 2010 and we have an 18 day old daughter and it happened LAST MONTH. My grasp on reality is quite obviously having a bit of a challenge keeping up with the events of LAST MONTH. None of this was supposed to happen until August yet June came along and decided to kick August's ass, and quite frankly did one hell of a job. So, please forgive me if I seem to regard the above picture as more of a projection than reflection, my mind doesn't seem to take to being catapulted into the future quite as well as my uterus.

So, where are we now that it's 3 weeks later?

Ash is an amazing older brother. He is (understandably) attention seeking and is (understandably) pushing every limit he can wrap his willful little hands around. He also asks to kiss his baby sister at least twice an hour and continues to amaze us with new talents every single day like memorizing the words to new songs after hearing them only once, swimming on his own in the pool at school, and hosting the most incredible imaginary play sessions.

Leni is an amazing little sister. She is (understandably) working on things like digestion and (understandably) prefers to eat every 1 1/2 to 3 hours. She also fixates more on her big brother than any other person and continues to amaze us with new bits of her powerful personality that are constantly popping through her gentile exterior.

We are making it as parents. We (understandably) continue to question absolutely everything we do and (understandably) have managed to neglect absolutely everything else from the cats to the laundry to those poor plants that haven't been watered in, well, about 3 weeks. We also love our kids more than ever thought possible and continue to be amazed by how life really does seem to just keep getting better.

I know, I know, growing a family isn't anything new and zillions of people have done it before us and this just isn't all that exciting to the rest of the world. But it is to us. Crazy ridiculously enormously exciting. And exhausting. And extraordinary. Except for the part where we have to keep track of the baby's pooping/peeing frequency. That part is a bit stressful and kind of sucks. Oh, and the part where the toddler needs to be reminded for the one hundred thousandth time not to launch one of his one million Lightning McQueen cars off of his homemade mega-jump in the direction of his sister. That part kind of sucks too. Oh yeah, and that one morning when we ran out of coffee after having been awake on the hour every hour from midnight to 5AM, and then up permanently at 6:15AM. That one sucked A LOT. But then we went to the grocery store and bought a lifetime supply of coffee beans to make sure it never happens again and low and behold life returned to being pretty much awesome. Until Lightning McQueen came flying across the room and landed in my coffee. Awesome minus one, still pretty good.

Her Hyper Side

Transitions

This post deserves so much more than I'm about to write and hit Publish on. C'est la vie. The last 2+ weeks for Ashton have included mommy being in the hospital for 1 week then showing up with his baby sister in tow shortly thereafter, plus daddy going on back-to-back multi-day work trips, plus starting a new school, plus a handful of other smaller yet significant when lumped together bits and pieces. And he's handled it all with an amazing style that only he could manage to pull off. We're so proud of him. Sure, he's had his moments. But he's only asked to put his sister in the garbage can once and the rest of the time asks if he can kiss her which is followed by the most adorable smooch on the forehead from a brother to his sister that you've ever seen EVER. So cute in fact that each time it happens I'm rendered completely useless by the cuteness of it all so have yet to catch the moment on camera.

Have there been time outs? Lots. But they're getting fewer and farther in between. Does parenting 2 children require 8 sets of arms and 5 sets of eyes and quantities of patience only known to Saints? Indeed. But Ashton's grandmas have been here and made it feel like all of those extra arms and eyes and buckets of patience have been ready and waiting.

Like I said, the title "transitions" deserves quite a bit more than this and I'm sure there will be detailed parts 2, 3, and maybe even 4. But for now the bottom line is this: Ash is kicking arse at being a big brother and Leni has mastered being a 2 week old eating and projectile pooping machine. And given all of the events of the last 2+ weeks, that's a pretty dang good bottom line.

Fav Foto Friday

Wordless Wednesday