June 20, 2008

Adjusting: End Of Week 3

We've been together almost 3 full weeks. Some notes on process and progress:

104.1, that was Ashton's temperature at 4:10PM today. Luckily our local pediatrician has office hours until 5PM on Fridays so was able to squeeze us in. He checked his ears, nose, throat, chest, did a strep test just to make sure, and concluded that our tot has a sore throat and a bad cold. Poor guy, he was so playful at lunch with Grandma H and even rocked out to the music in the restaurant (it's precious the way he bobbles his head to music!) but by the time we arrived home it was clear there was something up. After the visit with our doc his temperature lowered about one degree per hour and he's now fast asleep, though still not a happy camper. Tomorrow will be an at home play day, all-inclusive style with grilled sweet potatoes (he loves his sweet potatoes!), his very own sandbox, and lots of loving.

As for adjusting, overall we're doing well. We think he understands that we're not going anywhere anytime soon, which for being 2.5 weeks into the in-person relationship is pretty good. We'll continue to be the providers of 100% of his daily needs (feeding, changing, bathing, soothing) for the time being but have been unbelievably appreciative of Grandma's help in the infinite areas where we need it. He crawled into her lap for the first time today and let her cuddle him for a while which was heart melting. He's been eying her for 2 days now and this afternoon must've internalized that she's Grandma and he wanted a piece of that lovin'! His trust is slow to gain but once achieved his grip on your heart will leave you breathless.

It's not all smiles all the time, surprise surprise. He's been passed from loving arm to loving arm for so many months of his life that just because our arms are loving doesn't necessarily gain us his trust. He has needs that we can't meet, like being swept up by the lovely woman who fed him dinner for the two months before we were united and waved the scent of fresh roasted coffee beans around the room at the end of each meal. We can't replace that. The beautiful nanny who shared the most intense stare with our Ashton Wondemu and teared up every time we took him away from the House of Hope in Ethiopia because she knew they would likely never meet again. We can't replace that. His absolutely stunning mother who rocked back and forth throughout our entire meeting unable to lock eyes with us yet the exact expression on them will forever be ingrained on our hearts. We certainly can't replace that. And would never even attempt to try.

Our boy is grieving so many losses, and who knows if that is what's driving his fever today or just some bug he caught on the subway or even just a random temporary spike. But it is now our job as mom and dad to comfort him through his sorrows and introduce him to new love. A delicate balance I'm sure we'll struggle daily to achieve. For today this means garnering the strength to hold down his arms while we shove the thermometer in his ear for the millionth time in a day just to make sure his fever continues to break.

Cheers to the amazing people who held this post over the past months, we remember you and will make sure that Ashton Wondemu does too.

5 comments:

Brad and Fran Hoagland said...

Thanks for sharing all the ins and outs of your new lives together! He is just a precious doll. Hope he feels better soon!

kinsrn said...

What a wonderful tribute to your son and his caregivers.
I hope he feels better soon....it is so hard to see your child ill.
Julie

beards said...

get well soon ashton. your post is so lovely and touching.
ox laura and bearden

Lisa and Cory said...

Hope he gets well soon! And thanks for the lump in my throat. :) We have a lot to look forward to...so many emotions!

~ Lisa

Anonymous said...

Love conquers all. It takes time but I beiieve it does! Mom C